Ten Lessons I Learned From My Dog
"People say dogs are man's best friend, but I don't let my best friend sleep in my bed. Mind you, I don't let them shit in my garden either."
I don't get people who don't get dogs.
I don't like all dogs, just like I don't like all people. They have distinct personalities, and some are infinitely more likeable than others. Some are probably basically decent, but seem to have been poorly raised. But on the whole, I'm a dog person, and I'm going to spell it out to you exactly why.
Sure, dogs can be smelly and messy and gross... but so can people.
In fact, the worst things about most dogs are still better than the best things about most people.
I'll wait while you read that line again.
I think, even if you don't like dogs very much, and whether or not you choose to share your life and home with one, their value should be obvious. Reams have already been written about their loyalty, companionship, intelligence, and humour. (Yes, they do have a sense of humour.)
But more than that, human beings collectively have a strong natural affinity with dogs. People have speculated about why this is. Could be similar family structures. Could be how long we've shared our firesides with them. Domestication of the dog goes back 100,000 years. Me? I think their domestication was a keystone of our humanity. It's thanks to dogs that we have evolved the way we have.
Don't believe me?
When we teamed up with them long long ago to help us hunt food, we no longer needed such complex olfactory systems. We could let our pal Fido take over on that front in an evolutionary sense, allowing us to develop mouths, vocal chords etc. Dogs could well be the reason we have such complex speech, the reason we can tell stories and keep histories. Surely it's this that sets us apart from other animals - and it never would have been possible without dogs.
We owe dogs a debt, even if we don't like them. A debt probably beyond comprehension.
At the same time, we don't deserve them, even if we love them.
People say dogs are man's best friend, but I don't let my best friend sleep in my bed. I don't expect them to shit in my garden either. No, dogs have a unique role in our lives, and "best friend" doesn't even come close.
All that said, most people shouldn't have one, because while dogs are an amazing species, people generally suck. People are all too often ignorant, mean, and lacking in common sense and foresight. There are too many dogs. It's probably truer to say that's far too many idiots who went out and got a dog in 2020.
This is my tribute to this noble* species. I give you:
Ten Lessons I've Learned From My Dog
1. Fart generously
2. Always lick the tub
3. Drool is a love language
4. Light up with joy like a Christmas tree when your loved one enters the room. Every time is a sweet reunion, as if you'd been parted for many months. Note: this is regardless of how long you've actually been apart. Even if it was 37 seconds.
5. Walking outside in the fresh air is God. Do it every day, twice if possible. Many problems will arise otherwise.
6. If the prospect of another helping brings you so much joy that you wiggle on the spot, have it.
7. Who needs heroin when you can get your ears rubbed?
8. You can never have too many snuggles.
9. Napping is an Olympic sport. Take it seriously.
10. You can't fit two balls in your mouth, but you can have a lot of fun trying.
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This was inspired by Angie the Archivist's post, "Live Like a Labrador". (I have a staffie, but most of the principles are the same.)
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Thank you for reading! If you love dogs, too, tell me what they bring to your life.
If you don't like or value them at all, well, that's OK. You're allowed to be wrong.
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The "noble" species:
About the Creator
L.C. Schäfer
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I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!
Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz
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Comments (35)
Many lessons. Thank you!
Love this!
This is such a fun and sweet read! 🤗 I love dogs now - we just got a new puppy about 6 months ago. I finally understand all the hype! 🤗
We certainly owe dogs more that we give them credit for. Same for my own families dog Tank.
Well deserved!
Congrats on your amusing top story! ☺️ 🐶
Ear rubs are the best! Congratulations! 🎉
I love my dog! Aside from everything you said, she’s great for keeping me warm on a cold night too. Wonderful piece, L.C.!
Congrats on TS! I love everything about dogs! Thx for the great read.
Outstanding! Keep striving for greatness—congratulations!
Loved it, Made me chuckle from the start. I don't have a dog and wouldn't want one but I like to be around dogs, have worked with dogs which is like playtime all the time, and I am always watching out for wolf-like behaviour which is intriguing. Also, the most popular short-story I have written was a true story about an elderly Staffordshire bull terrier that had been abandoned and so we took it in for the last three months of its life.
Beautifully funny. How anyone doesn't like dogs befudles me. I have cats because I have a Hobbit house. One day...one sweet day there will space and time for a dog. Cats won't be happy, but they'll get over it 🤍 Angie's poem was fantastic!
L.C, this is true, and funny, and absolutely perfect. I've never been without a dog, since I was 5 years old. I've lived with as many as 4 at once and cared for as many as 17 at a a time, when my family owned a bird dog training kennel. At this point in time, Pam and I live with a Shepherd/Staffie and a Mountain Cur and I'd rather hang out with them than a room full of people any day. Congratulations!
My dog is better than my best friend. He keeps me safe when he knows I'm going to have a seizure and he isn't even trained to do that. He's a really good puppy. He keeps me company when I'm lonely and makes me happy when I am really down. Also, I love the humor in this!
This is the most truest article ever! We don't deserve dogs, and they are so much better than most people will ever be! Thanks for these reminders.
I want a dog too, but My parents don't hate them but they just don't want one for some reason 😭
Nice one
amen, this is great!
This is fantastic. I love the humour in this. And yes, dogs are great. I don't have one myself, but I do like them.
There we go...Top Story for this gem. You go, LC!
I do believe you are barking up the right tree here, L.C. The dogs I have known have taught me most of what I know about being a good human being. Though I still fail miserably & have so far to go, they've done their best.
I adore this. You’re so right about people not deserving dogs. Words will never be able to describe how valuable they are. Number 7 might be my favourite. Also, who needs heroin when you can give your dog ear rubs? The dopamine boost is mutual. Also loved the “you’re allowed to be wrong part”. Brilliant.
My brother is the dog person in our family and this reminded me of him soooo much. And your points are all true, too!
Beautiful. Humorous and wise. Checked all the boxes I like to see . 1. Promotes the awesomeness of dogs! 2. Addresses the inferiority of people verses dogs. 3. Dogs. 4. More dogs.
Dogs are awesome and so is this post, I especially love the photo at the end and that bloody caption, lol, LC! Dogs were thrust upon me when I met Ruth, as I had grown up without many pets at all, aside from a crap cat when I was younger that we inherited from my Nonna and who basically was rubbish company and went out a lot. I have come to love dogs and we even had a litter of puppies earlier in the year, accidental and all, but it was an awesome and inspired experience...just yeah. One of the pups is still with us, along with the dad and mum. Anyway, well done on a heartwarming, factually correct and funny article! Enjoyed this a lot!