Yardsticks

A little look at my own personal experiences and my perspective now...

1. I've had all my belongings taken from me by a man I trusted. I came home from work to find him drunk in his underpants with a female cop not letting me back into his house (which I'd moved into with everything I owned) I had to push past her to get my dog! Very disappointing that a woman of the law couldn't see just how ridiculous he was being and choosing to punish me. It now goes without saying...I don't respect police at all....they are a problem themselves. He had a drinking problem and his diabetes helped him drink a carton a day...easily!

2. I've had my family turn their back on me because my sister's husband sexually abused me ( I now see that he was sexually grooming me....what he did was inevitable and me being so trusting got burned, the fact that he had my sister eating out of his hand didn't help as he turned her against me. That hurt the most! Family disowning you because of a sick man!). They all see it as something to ignore, and not talk about. I need to talk about it! It makes me bitter that they get uncomfortable about it...what about me, I experienced it. Being a victim in these situations is terrible and people assume you brought it on yourself. Why would you!, and the perpetrator knows this and uses it to his advantage.

3. I've had a man buy me a car (which I refused) in a last ditch effort to stop me leaving the unhealthy relationship. Using money and power to get me to do what he wanted now has a name...controlling and coersive. I did actually leave feeling bad for him that he suffered from such a need to be in control of me and the fact that I knew he would be doing it to someone else after me. I had a restraining order put on him and had managed to find out it wasn't the first one he'd had.....that said it all....the fact it took me till the end of the relationship to find that out was annoying. More should've been done on the law side of things in his situation, then he may never have damaged me.

Assets...cars, houses, jetski's, whatever they may be, don't hold much value to me personally because they can come and go from your life...often. The drive and hunger for these things these days is scary and it makes peoples personalities ugly in the process. Priorities are all wrong. The Aussie dream for me isn't owning a home, its to be happy, healthy and safe... to achieve a healthy mind and body and the freedom to nurture them!

When all you have had has been taken from you, more than once, physically and mentally, you learn to put value where it actually should be. Not in money or assets or other unrecycleable things you work your whole life toward.

Value is in your beliefs, your morals, your feelings, your thoughts. Rebuilding your beliefs, your morals, you feelings & your thoughts because of something ( a predicament) that made them shift, is a task and a half believe me and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Never gamble your gut feelings, intuitions, solid ground. It will cost you dearly in your heart and soul. Assets are easily replaced!

People have been taking on BIG problems ( Internet stalking/ Harassment, controlling coersive partners, sexual grooming, mental health...just to name a few) for themselves for along time. Times are just now beginning to change and the law is slowly becoming a part of these situations and making them illegal! It's a terrific outcome and direction to go....but what about the people with the damage already done?

Well I find it hard to trust men now and I've been single for quite a while. It's hard meeting people when you've seen the lowest of low in humanity! On paper... I should be deliriously happy, barefoot and pregnant, with the man of my dreams....but internally I know its going to be a journey for me to get the stability with a man that I crave. Society has along way to progress to get women out of the frame of mind I find myself in, simply because the system was against us!, still is, but the topics are on the table.

My feelings of grounded contentment now are thanks to the distance between all that noise, expressing my feelings creatively and artistically, and my appreciation of the simple things in life. I've been to hell and back mentally many times. I'm alot more grounded than most, including those I've mentioned. It's almost as if I took the long hard road to happiness...slowly but surely I'll get mine!

Being strong and happy in your self is the most expensive and precious thing you have. Ignore the haters, embrace like-minded people, consistently acknowledge your feelings (being aware of having to regularly round up the bitter and sad feelings) and don't apologize for being you! You are a product of your experiences! Looking back now I can see all these interactions were due to our different 'YARDSTICKS'. So...be more Mindful...less Judgmental...MORE OFTEN.

'YARDSTICKS'... the measure of someone else's worth!!!!!