What if it finds you?

It was in 1999 when we entered our first home in the Netherlands.

We had endured a difficult journey, but my mother had endured the hardest. The house was completely silent. On the table in the living room was a beautiful, clear bowl filled with chocolates. I felt welcome and couldn’t take my eyes off the KitKats, Mars, and Twix bars in the bowl. I thought to myself, what a cozy and warm house. I thought to myself, this is love.

But what is love? A bowl of chocolates or the sacrifice you make day in and day out for someone else? Can love be earned? Because if we always “deserve better,” when is it ever enough? And so, I am confused. But deep down, I believe that you can become love, radiate love, give first, and only then receive.

Love is multidimensional. Love for a child is different from love for yourself. Love for a friend is different from love for a partner. Love for your father is different from love for your husband, and love for your wife is different from love for your mother. Love can heal or destroy.

Think of Romeo and Juliet. When Romeo believed Juliet was dead, he decided he could not go on without her and took his own life. Juliet, waking up to find Romeo gone, chose to do the same—because a life without him would be unbearable. Tragic, isn’t it? It could have turned out so differently. Sometimes, love knows no boundaries. And sometimes, it consumes everything in its path. Would you surrender to such an all-consuming love?

Love is like glue. If you're not careful… it traps you in its stickiness. If you're not careful, you'll find yourself stuck in a relationship ruled by obsession. When a wedding ring is no longer a symbol of commitment but a pair of handcuffs. When your partner’s jealousy grips you by the throat. When your body and mind are hijacked, and the only way out is a miracle. Truly, love can be dangerous.

Love is a language—a universal, unspoken language. It makes us long for each other, it gnaws, it heals, it inspires. It can be conditional, yet unconditional. We have all heard a mother say: 'I love you if…'

And for those of us who never heard that probably know the words: 'I would give my life for you, my child.' But Mom, would you also say: 'I would live my life for you, my child?' People rarely fight for themselves. Those who managed to crawl out of a toxic relationship know this better than anyone—because everything changed when a baby was born.

Love is a gift, but not always a blessing. I once thought love was wrong in every context because all it had ever done was hurt me. But what if the time has come for love to heal and inspire?

The woman who escaped and raised a child into a source of love. People entering your life—and perhaps that one person might be among them. Your productive self slows down because that one person keeps wandering through your mind and heart. A blend of physical and emotional reactions creates an extraordinarily rare feeling in your body. A feeling of inspiration, a zest for life, and pride in who you truly are. Because the right partner will embrace your every part. When days feel like eternity and joy returns when meeting each other again.

Have you ever felt like you’ve met someone before, but not in this life? I have. Strange, isn’t it? Sometimes, it feels as if there's an instant connection with someone. As if your souls already met—even if you can’t explain why. As if you recognize their essence. Not their face, but their soul.

It was in 1999 when we entered our first home in the Netherlands. My mother had endured the hardest journey. Though I remember almost nothing from when I was four years old, that moment led to the manifestation of a beautiful life. Though I remember almost nothing, that day—that video—remains etched in my memory even after 25 years

So… is love something you simply deserve? Perhaps love is a sacrifice, a curse, or a blessing. Not a destination, but a journey. Not a possession, but an act.

And maybe… just maybe… love is simply what you leave behind in someone else’s heart.