Unheard Story Of A U.S. Army Soldier

My name is Maurice Wisdom Bishop and I am 34 years old currently serving in the U.S. Army. This is my story.

I deployed in Iraq for 13 months. While I was there a soldier in my unit shot himself with an M-16 and the 5.56mm round hit him in the quadrum of his heart and he died. I felt so much guilt because I was one of the soldiers that pushed him away when he really needed someone to talk to. Remind you I was someone that didn't mind helping anybody but because of the countless times of getting in trouble with my 1st Sergeant and chain of command because of his careless actions I ignored him and didn't want anything to do with him. I still remember his words till this day, "I'm sorry and if you can give me 10 seconds of your time..." and before he could finish his sentence I shouted "LEAVE ME ALONE!" There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of his words, "If you can give me 10 seconds of your time.." If I would of listen for those 10 seconds would he still be alive? Could my words made a difference in his life? And these are the questions that haunted me everyday.

After my 13 month deployment my ex baby mama called me unexpectedly after 6 months of not calling me nor answering my calls or emails on Skype during half of my deployment in Iraq. She informed me that my 1 year old son die due to heart murmur. She never even told me about the funeral. I became angry and my heart grew cold. I had nightmares from my deployment and my dead son and couldn't sleep so I started smoking a lot, drinking a lot of beer, brown liquor and wine just to go to sleep. That night I became an alcoholic. I became a smoker. I became reckless and violent. Emotionally I couldn't function so the relationships I was in always failed. I was married and ended up in a bad divorce. I didn't communicate with my family because I felt like they couldn't help me and I didn't get along with them. I felt alone and was suicidal many times. I stabbed myself in my leg, tried cutting my chest, and my arm. I even mixed a few percocets in my glassed filled Hennessy. I even became homeless and had to survive in the streets. Because of my bad reputation of mistreating women, a woman who I use to sleep with sent 3 of her cousins that just came out of jail for attempted murder to kill me. I was chased and even shot at but I've managed to escape and survive.

I've moved out of Philly to Lindenwold, New Jersey trying to start my life over but trouble always found me. I remember telling God to change my life and making me the man he wants me to be. Nothing miraculous happen except I kept reading and studying the bible and I was going to church. I've stop smoking, drinking, fighting, mistreating women, and hating people and never knew it. Im in great relationship with my parents and family. I even had a second chance at marriage and still married to this day for over 10 years. With that being said, my life did a 180 change. God change my life completely. I have a home, a career, I sleep well and I'm free from alcohlism and smoking. I'm a published author of Blood on Paper & Pain Living in My Pen. https://amzn.to/3fQltIx https://amzn.to/3oWcry7

The message to this story is "Your Past Is Not Your Final Destination"