Are you enough?

The front of my favorite hoodie proclaims in simple letters, "You are enough."

Several weeks ago, I began listening to a book during my daily commute. The premise of the book rejects the message on the front of my hoodie. It claims that it is harmful to tell someone, "You are enough," as if saying that puts a burden too much to bear upon him or her. The author says, "'You are enough' means that 'you must be able to bear up in every circumstance without the help of anyone else. How is that a kind idea to convey?'"

In one sense, I can agree with her premise (although it exacerbates my daily migraines to do so). However, the sweatshirt I wear is not about diminishing someone's need for help when overwhelmed by life. "You are enough" is a message intended to convey what the back of the shirt says:

"Dear person behind me, the world is a better place with you in it. Love, the person in front of you."

I suspect that the author of the book would call this "trite," or a "trivialization" of someone's deep and desperate need for a deeper love than this world can provide. I wouldn't necessarily disagree with her in that, but sometimes, the simplicity of this hoodie message is what it takes to prevent a stranger from choosing a drastic and irreversible action to end personal grief or suffering. There are countless anecdotes of people who have given themselves more time to live and seek help, just because they read an encouraging "trite" message on a shirt or hoodie.

Last month, shortly before Christmas, I was outside Ocean State Job Lot waiting for my son and his friend to bring in an item that we needed to return. While I stood there with my back to the parking lot to keep the wind out of my face, another shopper brushed past me, patted me on the arm, and said, "The world is a better place with you in it, too! I love your shirt!"

It took me a moment to remember what I was wearing. Then I called after her, "Thank you!" I don't wear it to receive that compliment, but following a stressful day at the prison, it gave my emotions a boost. Speaking of the prison, it is the primary audience for whom I bought the hoodie. I work with fewer than ten percent of the residents (the administration insists we call them residents, while most of the residents resent that moniker because they say, "If we were residents, we could come and go as we please. We should be called inmates."). So I want the others to know that I do not hold their felonies against them.

Yes, many of the men held there have committed heinous acts against other people, but my role is not to punish them. I am there to provide education services. If I dwell on why they are there, I will not treat them with dignity. However, the Lord's prayer says that I am to "forgive others' debts, as He has forgiven mine." How can I expect His forgiveness of my wrongdoings and wrong thinkings if I do not extend forgiveness to these men? Have they asked me to forgive them? No. But can I act with mercy, anyway? Yes. Am I perfect in that? Absolutely not! But I can attempt a charitable attitude.

In attempting a charitable attitude, I can say, "You are enough." Is that a biblically accurate statement? No. If we were enough, the Bible would not say that we need a Savior, and that is the point the author makes in that book I've been listening to. However, I will split hairs with her to say that in the moment of desperation, it is acceptable to tell someone that it is enough for him or her to exist for now, to hang on because our world is better with him or her in it, and when he or she has chosen to remain, then we can reach out with the deeper truth of Who makes life truly worth living.