Turning Pain Into Purpose: Finding Hope in What Tried to Break Me

Have you ever heard the saying “Turn your pain into purpose”?

I would hear this saying, and while it sounded good in theory, I still would wonder, “How am I supposed to help others through this if I’m still going through it myself?”

Throughout my life, I have faced many hardships. Bullying, multiple sexual assaults, and an abusive relationship. And every single time someone said there was purpose in the pain, I would find it hard to believe. How could events that shattered my entire view of life ever have purpose?

Admitting there was purpose in the pain felt like I was admitting that what happened was good or okay. And every time I would sit back to think about those things, I couldn’t see how anything good could come out of that.

For over 12 years, I was stuck in the cycle of trauma. Shrinking myself, battling PTSD, and living through life in a dissociated state. But even through this, I knew I wanted to help people. And that phrase “turn your pain into purpose” would echo through my mind.

Through those 12 years, I found myself passionate about mental health and women's rights. I would see news articles, and it would make me sick to my stomach, reading or listening to how the justice system had once again failed these victims. When someone would make an insensitive joke about mental health or spread misinformation on things they had no idea about, I found myself angry.

Having lived through these experiences, I felt it more deeply. Because it wasn’t just another news story. I saw real-life people who were suffering and going through the exact same things I went through.

And one day recently, I was thinking about all the injustice and evil in the world, and it hit me. I realized that by being so focused on the wrongdoers and injustice, I was actually failing to see the bigger picture.

When I would speak up about things, I was met with a lot of pushback. I was told not to talk about it. I was told, “Why bother because nothing will happen.” I also had lots of people who didn’t believe me. Everything seemed to point back to a simple “This happened, it sucks, move on.”

Through these conversations, I would feel more alone. It seemed as if the people who committed the crimes got the attention (even if it was bad attention), while the ones who were suffering got left out to dry alone. And I was inadvertently continuing this cycle by my way of thinking.

I realized that there needs to be more support for the victims of these crimes. We need to have the hard conversations, and have a more open mind that sometimes, things aren’t always black and white.

While there is always going to be evil in the world, that doesn’t mean we have to normalize it or tell the ones who are suffering to simply “move on because life happens.”

And that’s when I finally understood what ‘turning pain into purpose’ really meant. It meant using my story to help others heal. My purpose was to help others who are in the low places find their way out. To give them actionable, real-life tips instead of the generic “don’t dwell on it, move on, eat better, sleep well” advice I had been told.

Little by little, I started sharing bits of my story on platforms such as Facebook and TikTok. The response was incredible. My focus was not on the trauma itself, the people who hurt us, or the injustice of the world. Instead, the focus was on the one’s who are hurt. To let people know they aren’t alone and that healing is possible.

Sharing my story was hard. It meant being vulnerable. But I realized it was necessary. Because my mission was bigger than me. I have a voice, an intelligent mind, and a way with words, and I was meant to use it.

A verse that helped put things into perspective for me is Romans Chapter 5, verses 3-5. It says, “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

To me, this verse shows that there is purpose in our sufferings. That out of hardships can come good things. It doesn’t mean that what we went through was “good” or “easy”, but it means we can come out of it on the other side.

As much as the things I went through hurt, I did learn perseverance. In turn, it built me into a kinder, more understanding, non-judgmental person. And over time, I have gained hope through Jesus.

There are still days I question God and the purpose behind what I’ve gone through, especially when things happen that trigger old memories or thought patterns to arise. I think “Could I not have learned these same lessons through easier or different ways?” But that’s when I have to stop and take a breath. To remind myself that God has a plan, even when we can’t see it. It is going to be hard. He never said it would be easy. And learning to trust fully through these feelings and questions is something I will have to work on every single day.

We all have things that will make us question our faith, question our purpose, and test our relationship with God. And I believe that’s normal. We are human, and our minds naturally want to understand what we can’t understand. It’s okay to question and feel angry, but what matters is that we still turn to God and don’t let it derail us from our path.

If you are currently going through domestic abuse, having suicidal thoughts, or have recently experienced sexual assault, here are hotlines you can call and resources. I have personally used these helplines and was met with kind, caring individuals. Help is available.

Resources

Domestic Violence Support Line 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Suicide Hotline: text or call 988.

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 800.656.HOPE

Find a counselor: https://www.goodtherapy.org/