Tuning Into The Dark Side Of The Mind

When you’re alone in your bedroom, the only person you’re left with is yourself. Your voice is the only resounding sound in your mind. Your feelings of inadequacy and insecurity beating in your chest, the lifeline through your body.

You try to numb the voice by blasting music into your mind, through your skull, a deafening attempt to block out the dark side of the mind and the unwanted feelings that come with it. You blur your clarity with inane scrolling and scrolling…scrolling, the blue light dulling your senses, but unconsciously feeding the seeds only Lucifer’s slight hands could have planted.

The only way to obscure your real feelings from yourself is through obnoxious and ostentatious displays of emotion. Anger. Happiness. Hurt. Anxiety.

But we’d do anything not to feel.

Positive toxicity seems to be the phrase of the moment. When you hinder yourself from feeling ‘bad’ emotions and paint yourself with ‘good vibes only’. Though your face may be a canvas, it seems along with concealing our superficial imperfections visible to others, we also attempt to conceal our internal imperfections visible to ourselves. Hiding from a beast that’s always lurking, hiding from fears awaiting the perfect cue when we least expect it.

The hit startles us, but we recover quickly and banish it into the basement, unaware that this space is fast becoming crowded, the door slightly unstable, its hinges weak.

Has it become harder to face the hidden person inside of us? The trauma that has contributed to who we are, who we have become.

In 2021, we should aim to break barriers, shatter the glass ceilings that both we and society have placed upon ourselves. The only way forward is to go backwards and learn from the past. A strategic retreat.

Create stillness

We don’t like to be still anymore, it’s deemed unproductive. But it’s also because we don’t like to face the monster under the bed and we busy ourselves so we don’t have time to check if it’s still there.

It is.

And to be a happier person, we need to address the internal goings-on inside us. What childhood traumas have we brought into our adult life and how is it affecting us? Because it is definitely affecting us.

Creating stillness and peace in whatever type of fashion you feel comfortable is the start of your journey towards mindfulness.

You may want a tidy room, a comforting glow through the warm lights provided by lamps and candles. This doesn’t have to be mystical, or séance-like, it is just about capturing the calmness you wish to internalise into your mental state. You may find silence comforting or maybe deafening, either way, playing something calming may be soothing.

If you can’t sit with yourself, you can fiddle with something menial that allows your mind to wander. But the main point of this exercise is to think back and evaluate.

- What are you feeling?

Some people find it difficult to name and label the emotions they feel, so they think they don’t feel them. Sometimes it requires some time.

- What was the last thing that happened that caused a spike in some kind of emotion?

A workplace debacle that aggravated you. The lives of others that you can see on social media. Relationships. Lack of personal and professional growth. Your living situation. Debt. Responsibilities. Ageing. Adulthood.

- Why did it cause a spike in emotion?

You want to find the root cause of your distress, a diagnosis can lead to finding a manageable treatment. Mental health is just like medical health, a ghost that can pass through at any one time but leave no trace. Did it remind you of a childhood hurt that you buried in your past?

What was your spike in emotion about? That you felt deserving of a promotion. You want to live lavishly. You want success. Money. Love. Someone to lean on. Less responsibility. You don’t know what you’re doing. You feel like a failure in comparison. You feel your life isn’t where it should be.

- How important is it for you to reach that goal and how can you attain it?

Breaking down feelings and desires into achievable short term goals enables you to feel more fulfilled as you can measure your progress until you achieve it and it also prevents you from feeling overwhelmed with attempting to get to a destination without planning the journey. Furthermore, due to acknowledging your journey, you can capture and hold the happiness you’ll feel from that achievement more wholly.

Hobbies are a great path towards mental relief, being more present, and taking care of your needs.

Short term goals such as applying for similar jobs if that is the source of your unhappiness, enables you to do something concrete to achieve your goal; there is no need for you to stay stagnant in a job you feel isn’t fulfilling you. If you feel you aren’t qualified for the job you want, how can you become qualified, can you take on a course on the side, or ask for more training at work?

Once you have solidified what your goal is, you can measure your progress towards it, and stop comparing yourself to the person who achieved it. The competition isn’t between you and them. It’s between you and yourself.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t allow others to take your joy away from you.

Know your limits

How well do you know yourself? And what are you willing to do to ensure your happiness isn’t affected?

If I know that seeing the lives of others being flaunted and paraded on social media has made a negative impact on how I see myself, I will make a conscious effort not to expose myself to that type of stimulus.

The real question is, what type of negative stimulant do you need to avoid in order to prioritise your mental wellbeing? This acknowledgement can help you focus on your own goals and ambitions without being distracted.

Saying ‘No’

Prioritising mental health takes a conscious effort, especially when you may be a people pleaser, always wanting to make others happy. It requires effort in order to take a step back and decline to offer help, to decline an invitation if you know right now it will take away from your mental health treatment plan.

You may not have to take two tablets a day as you might with a visible medical condition, but you can work out what stimulants to stay away from.

Recovering alcoholics do not need to be put into a bar filled to the brim with temptations.

Saying ‘No,’ does not characterise you as being antagonistic, but can be done with sympathy; taking some time away from stimulants could be just the thing that takes you into remission.

Knowing your worth and having standards does not mean you are ‘difficult’, and whether this is regarding relationships or friendships, just prioritising your value and your peace of mind is of utmost importance. Even having difficult conversations can prove to be fruitful with those we trust, speaking about how this particular event is triggering a childhood trauma we are attempting to recover from, asking for patience and support while we work this out.

A true friend, a true love, will never shy from providing a safe and secure space for us to work through our trauma.

You are the only one that has to deal with the aftermath, after all.

Conclusion

The time has come to stop succumbing into the mind-numbing activities that we pursue in order to avoid the dark side of the mind. The time has come to jump into the abyss. The soul-wrenching traumas blackening our hearts.

The time has come to treat our minds as we treat our bodies. Our mental health should be of utmost importance. From creating stillness, acknowledging our pain, the stimulants that nag our very existence and our goals towards our own happiness.

Engaging with our needs and prioritising ourselves is the treatment plan, the long-term plan for challenging our insecurities and traumas and capturing true contentment.

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I hope this article was somewhat beneficial, tips are appreciated!