The Krongling

I was standing in a corner of a loud nightclub wondering why I had bothered to go out again. Another dark club and another lonely night. I looked in my little black book where I had collected compliments my friends had given me in the past as a way to build my confidence. Yet here I was, unable to strike up a conversation with anyone. I looked down at page three. “You are so cool; you practically define a whole new genre of cool.” My friend had written that down after I posted a photo of me winning a hot dog eating contest. I looked around the room as the band on stage blasted their music, the drums were so loud I could barely think. I don’t think I can handle much more of this. I decided to leave and go home, promising myself I would try some other night in some other club to make friends.

I left the club and walked down the stairs slowly, resigned in my fate of overwhelming social anxiety. The Valley was dark and full of people going out with their friends, laughing and holding hands. The lights of the town were bright and as I passed each club a different type of music blasted out from each doorway. Hip-Hop one door, House music the next. I was nearing the bus station when I saw a shiny blob on the ground. I tried to focus in on it. It seemed to be coming out of the ground, so it wasn’t just a spill of someone’s drink. I walked up to where this shining blob was and found it to be pearlescent, wobbling about 5 inches above the ground like a clear jelly. ‘What is this?’ I thought to myself. I crouched down to get another look when all of a sudden, large eyes appeared on the front of the blob, and as the blob looked at me, I received a message telepathically.

“Don’t be so afraid” it said.

Okay, this is it, I must have finally gone insane. The incessant loneliness of my life has tipped me over the edge and into a state of full-blown delusions.

“Don’t be so afraid” I heard it say again, this time clearer in my mind, and definitely distinct from my own thoughts. Okay this wasn’t my thoughts. I decided to try and talk back telepathically.

“Why the hell shouldn’t I be afraid, you shiny blob thing? What do you even know about being a human?”

“More than you might realise, long and scared one”

Okay…. this was getting deep and weird in a way that made me uncomfortable. I’d gone from living alone, binge watching whatever I found on TV, to trying to go out to a club to meet people, to talking to a telepathic blob of jelly on the sidewalk. I looked around to see if others were seeing this. Nope, no one had seemed to notice neither the blob nor myself, standing and looking down. I continued my thoughts to it,

“What are you?”

“I’m you, or at least, I was you, back in the day when I had a human body”

“You were human?” I thought back to it,

“Yes” the blob replied.

“Why are you talking to me?” I asked it, half curious and half mad to have my despair interrupted in the strangest of ways.

“You saw me, you came up to me, you started this conversation” calmly responded the blob.

“What? You are blaming me for this?”

“Blame is a strong word, long one. I would have said - You have great attention to detail.”

The blob had a point. I guess I did notice it and walk up to it before it sprouted eyes and started talking in my mind. I wanted to continue the conversation but I didn’t want to stay standing here on the sidewalk, 100 metres from the bus station, looking like I was staring at some gelatinous food mess for no good reason. “Can I take you with me?” I mind-spoke to the blob. “No” it replied “I live here, this is my home”.

“Your home is the sidewalk in the valley? Okay, that’s sad and strange. Oh, and by the way, do you have a name little blob?”

“My name is Krongling.” Krongling, what kind of name is that? I thought to myself.

“The kind of name I’m very proud of” it replied authoritatively inside my head, instantly flushing my cheeks with shame of being critical of its name. I paused for a second to consider that maybe it was this critical voice that was stopping me too.

“I’m sorry Krongling”

“Yes, you are right” Krongling said. “That voice you diminished my name with is the same voice that you diminish yourself with”

“But doesn’t everyone have that voice? I know it’s not just me, but maybe my voice is just a little louder than everyone else’s?”

“Your critical voice is very loud, it makes me sad, and it makes my jelly harden”

I laughed a little, incredulous that my critical voice could have the power to harden jelly.

“It hardens my jelly just like it makes your life harder too”

“That makes too much sense Krongling.”

“When I was a human form, I had a loud voice just like yours, but one day I decided to talk back to it, like you are talking to me right now”

“What did you say?”

“I said, I acknowledge your presence, but you are not helping me, what would help right now is a voice that told me I was good, and told me to believe in myself. Once I had that conversation, every time my critical voice spoke, I softly replied, not now, I’m busy believing in myself."

“Krongling, that sounds so good in theory but mine is just so strong. It stops me from getting out of bed, and when I fight enough to get out of bed and go out, it stops me from talking to people. I just can’t seem to win against this voice”

“You have another voice though, the voice that got you out of bed to come here, with me, tonight.” Krongling was right.

“That other voice, you must give it a microphone in your mind, that other voice will make your life easier, and when the critical voice tries to speak, let the believing voice talk over it, let it talk nicely to yourself, out loud. Say sweet things. Believe in yourself. Give it a name if you have to.”

“Could I name it after you Krongling?”

“I would be honoured.”

I stood there, half in shock and half in a daze, receiving profound advice from a blob on the street was not an everyday occurrence. I needed Krongling in my life. Forever.

“You cannot have me forever, long one” Krongling stated in my head. I didn’t like this news. I wanted, no, I needed Krongling to be with me. To state the facts and remind me to believe in myself. I know I cannot do it alone.

“Yes, you can do it alone.” Krongling was reading my thoughts. I needed to think quickly and quietly, trying to think under Krongling’s radar. “I have made this book,” I said, reaching into my bag and pulling out the little black book of compliments. “I made this book” I said out loud this time, as I kneeled down next to Krongling. “I made this book for when I forget myself, and when I need to believe in my myself, so I made this book of compliments from my friends”

“That is wise” stated Krongling in its ancient sounding, otherworldly mind voice.

“Can I read to you from it?”

“Yes ofc” and before Krongling had finished the word, I bent over, mouth agape, and started devouring Krongling, being careful to lightly chew it so as not to destroy it. I moved my head lower and lower, slowly consuming Krongling, and not caring that I was kneeling down in the middle of a busy street, in the dark of night in the Valley, eating what would look like to others as a very gross pile of food waste. When I was sure Krongling was completely inside me, I stood up, shoulders back, and strutted my way to the bus station.

The next morning, I awoke and wondered if the events of the last night were even real. Did I really just meet a psychic jelly blob ex-human who made me believe in myself so much I had to eat them? I decided to test myself, and started writing a short story to enter into a competition, something I had wanted to try many many times before, but had never finished because, well you know, confidence. I sat at my laptop and began. Word after word poured out of me, and I felt confident in my writing. I drafted and re-drafted, sure that whatever I was making could only be improved upon the more I re-read and re-wrote it. By that evening I had a polished short story that was ready to be submitted, and I confidently clicked submit. I couldn't believe it, yet, at the same time, I also could believe it. What is this? I thought to myself. Confidence.

I didn’t spend my days awaiting the outcome, because now I was too busy creating to care. I dove into my practice, indulging in my many interests in whatever form they took. I started learning piano. I began writing songs. I wrote many more short stories and submitted them wherever I could. I went out to the night club and struck up conversations with people I found interesting. They found me interesting too. And one day, on the 12th March, I had won a contest, and the prize was $20,000. I decided to spoil myself with the winnings and bought myself a shiny new pearlescent car. And I named it, Krongling.

By Camilla Strand