The Happiness Formula You’ve Never Heard Of

I used to think happiness was a destination. Like if I could just get the right job, find the right partner, or save up the right amount of money, I’d arrive at this magical place where smiles never faded and problems dissolved. I believed happiness was built on achievement — like a recipe: success + recognition + stuff = joy.

But I was wrong.

Let me tell you what really happened — and how I stumbled upon the happiness formula you’ve probably never heard of.

The Climb That Didn’t Fulfill Me

After college, I landed what many people called a “dream job.” Good salary, benefits, fast-paced environment. On paper, I had everything I thought I wanted. I should’ve felt on top of the world. Instead, I woke up each morning with a knot in my stomach. Every day was a race to a finish line that moved further away the faster I ran.

I tried the usual tricks: positive affirmations, new hobbies, weekend getaways. But nothing stuck. The high from a promotion lasted about a week. A new gadget gave me maybe two days of excitement. Then — back to the restlessness.

When I Stopped Pretending

One evening, after an exhausting day, I sat alone in my apartment. No distractions, no Netflix, no scrolling. Just silence. I remember asking myself out loud, “What if this isn’t it? What if the whole idea of happiness I’ve been chasing... is wrong?”

That question cracked something open inside me.

So I did something radical — I stopped trying to be happy. I let go of the idea that I needed to earn joy by doing more, having more, being more.

And in that space of surrender, something unexpected happened.

I started noticing the little things. The warmth of my coffee cup in the morning. The way sunlight spilled across my kitchen floor. The kind smile from the barista who remembered my name. These weren’t the “big” things I’d been conditioned to chase. But they made me feel something real. Something calm. Something like peace.

The Realization That Changed Everything

I began journaling about these moments, and a pattern emerged. I wasn’t happiest when I was accomplishing. I was happiest when I was present. When I wasn’t regretting yesterday or worrying about tomorrow.

That’s when I started building my own happiness formula — one that had nothing to do with climbing ladders or collecting trophies.

Let me share it with you.

The Happiness Formula You’ve Never Heard Of:

Presence + Purpose + Permission = Peaceful Joy

Let me explain.

Presence is about being here. Really here. Not stuck in the past. Not anxiously scripting the future. Just experiencing now — fully.

Purpose doesn’t mean changing the world or starting a business. It can be as simple as knowing your “why” for the day. Maybe today your purpose is to rest. Or to comfort a friend. Or to write one true sentence. Purpose gives direction, not pressure.

Permission is the piece most people forget. Permission to feel, to rest, to play, to not be productive. So many of us believe we must “deserve” joy. But what if joy doesn’t need to be earned? What if it’s your birthright?

Letting Go of the Noise

Once I started living by this formula, I noticed how much of my unhappiness had come from chasing someone else’s definition of success.

I thought I needed the job title, the body, the relationship — because that’s what the world told me happiness looked like. But all I really needed was to slow down, get quiet, and listen to myself.

Now, when I feel off balance, I don’t ask, “What’s wrong with me?” I ask, “Where am I not being present? What purpose have I lost touch with? What permission am I not giving myself?”

This formula isn’t flashy. It won’t trend on TikTok. But it works.

The Moral:

Happiness isn’t something you chase. It’s something you come home to — when you stop running.

You don’t have to earn joy. You just have to create space for it.

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Thank you for reading...

Regards: Fazal Hadi