The Layers Of Healing
Focus on the good in life
On March 7th, 2022, my life changed drastically when I escaped domestic violence. Since then, I have begun to understand the true extent of what I survived, and I have been forced to take a deep look within to learn why I, and so many others, didn’t see their situations for what they truly were. In that journey, I have begun to see the patterns that led to the past. In most cases of domestic violence, the red flags present themselves right away; however, most victims have other circumstances that lead them not to see or straight-up ignore them. With self-love and motivation, you can heal your soul and live your best life.
Look at the patterns
At first, it seems like you're healing from what you just escaped, but in reality, you will begin to heal from what drove you into the dangerous situation to start with. Most people with self-love and self-respect will not tolerate being treated like shit. It’s essential to reflect on your past with family members and friends. How do they treat you? Have you always felt loved and comfortable around them, or do they put you down? Were people in your life encouraging and supportive, or did they secretly want you to fail? Do you love yourself? How do you respond when you receive praise? Do you accept or reject it? A person who loves themselves is likely to say “Thank you,” whereas someone who struggles in that area will downplay it or not feel worthy. Do you speak your mind or do you stay silent to not offend? As you heal, you start to notice how much different things can be once you take control of your life.
Learn what and who you value
As you heal, you begin to see what’s important to you and what doens’t serve you anymore. You will see who genuinely cares for you versus those who just see you as a convenience. Putting in time and effort into what you truly want will make it worthwhile. You’ll understand who in your life makes you shine and who drains your energy. Look at who inspires you compared to those who conspire against you. Look to the ones who want to see you succeed and not the ones who are in competition with you. If a person is constantly trying to one-up you, then pulls away from your life when you are thriving, then they are not your real friend. The ones who bring out the best in you are the ones you need in your life. Once you begin to work on yourself, you draw positivity and positive people towards you.
Let go of what doesn’t serve you
Once you start to see the patterns, you see what’s been holding you back. If you noticed that you stayed at a job you didn’t like or continued to interact with toxic people, it’s time to reevaluate and make a change. For me, I saw that alcohol had negative effects on my life, so I stopped drinking. You have to put effort into healing yourself. If you want to be in shape its important to work out and eat healthy. If you want to expand your mind starting reading more. Look at the ways you can improve yourself. Once you start making positive changes in your life its easy to keep adding more. The more you better yourself, the more good will come into your life. With self-improvement, think of Occam’s razor on how to go about it. If it's good for you, do it; if it's not going to better your life, don’t do it.
Love, heal, and forgive yourself
When you start to grow, you learn new things about yourself and your potential. You understand that you were doing the best you could at the time. It’s not your fault what happened. It is your responsibility to love, heal, and forgive yourself. It’s okay if you confusingly responded to trauma; it took me over 2 years to begin to accept my feelings and process them. What matters once you begin to heal is focusing on the good. For me, KMK music has helped me help deeply. Keep motivated by your favorite person. Do what makes you happy. You attract what you feel. Your vibe matters; make sure you keep it high. You may face setbacks from time to time or not feel your best somedays but stay in the light and stay positive. It will all pay off in the end.
About the Creator
Kristine Franklin
My name is Kristine. I'm a writer, working on my first book. I budtended for over 13 years. I've studied pyschology, writing, and mental health. I'm also working on getting Dainara's Law passed. Hardcore KMK fan
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In the healing process, there is a lot to take in. You have to evaluate everything about yourself to learn from your mistakes. You have to understand what you truly want in life. You also need to know what you will not tolerate. In cases of domestic violence, the victim must look deep within to see what led them to be trapped in the situation they were in. It’s never the victim’s fault; it’s important that they always stay safe. Once they have escaped their situation, self-reflection will help them avoid future issues. Become in tune with your mind, body, and soul to have the life you want.
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Dreaming big has always been celebrated. From childhood, we are encouraged to imagine limitless futures, to picture ourselves succeeding beyond ordinary boundaries. Dreams give us direction, hope, and a sense of purpose. But dreams alone are fragile. Without action, they remain ideas—beautiful, inspiring, and incomplete. That is where the second half of the phrase matters most: Work Bigger. “Dream Big. Work Bigger.” is not just a motivational slogan. It is a mindset that acknowledges a hard truth many people avoid: extraordinary dreams demand extraordinary effort. The size of your dream sets the destination, but the size of your work determines whether you ever arrive. The Power of Dreaming Big Dreaming big is an act of courage. It requires you to think beyond your current circumstances, resources, or limitations. Big dreams often feel uncomfortable because they challenge the identity you currently hold. 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Do your actions reflect the future you say you want? This honesty can be uncomfortable, but it is also freeing. It gives you control. Once you recognize the gap, you can start closing it, step by step. Redefining Failure and Progress Working bigger also means redefining how you view failure. Failure is not the opposite of success; it is part of the process. Every attempt teaches you something—about your strategy, your mindset, or your limits. When you work bigger, failure becomes data, not a verdict. Progress is rarely linear. There will be periods of rapid growth and long stretches where nothing seems to change. During those quiet phases, the temptation to quit is strongest. But often, those are the moments when the foundation is being built. Growth happens beneath the surface before it becomes visible. Learning to appreciate progress, even when it is subtle, helps sustain momentum. Progress might look like improved discipline, clearer thinking, or greater resilience. 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