The Best Medicine

My daughter was diagnosed with depression when she was only 16 years old, about one year later as we were sitting in the car, she revealed to me that she had been cutting her wrist with a blade, and she was having suicide thoughts, she looked very scared. It was certainly one of the saddest days of my entire life, but I felt proud that somehow she had found the courage to talk to me and tell me about her ordeal, we were able to find help and she is now recovering and getting better each day.But that summer we decided to take a trip to the beach (Ventura Seaward, CA.) to get away from the city. As soon as we arrived, she decided to go in the water by herself and enjoy the waves, I was then able to take a couple of pictures as she was walking and diving in.

It had been such a long time since we were outdoors, it felt great being by the ocean on a summer day, this particular year had been extremely difficult for us, especially for her, being here was like taking a big breath of clean oxygen. As she was in the water I decided to just sit down and enjoy these precious moments, just seeing my daughter jumping over the waves, falling backwards while holding her nose and splashing the water in the silliest ways brought smiles to my face and maybe a few tears of joy.

On our way back, she said to me that being in the water, contemplating the waves and the immensity of the ocean, the birds flying above and just letting herself be carried by the current gave her a sense of wellness, inner peace and spiritual energy, "I want to go back again Dad, it was such an amazing feeling! " -she said- the joy and happiness I felt in my heart after hearing those words was indescribable. We held hands and we promise each other we will come back again. She fell asleep soon after.

As I lowered the music volume and continued the drive back home, my mind started wondering about what my life had become since that faithful conversation with my daughter about one year or so ago, my whole world completely changed that day, I often feel like a piece of my little girl is missing, a sense of guilt constantly invades my soul, I keep asking myself, what did I do wrong? Why all of this happened to her? She is such a wonderful young girl and does not deserve to feel like this, but on the other side there is a sense of relief and pride in my heart knowing that she was courageous enough to confront, her thoughts, her fears, her pain and reached out to me, it could have been worst, a lot worst. Thankfully now there is hope, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel, and one thing is for sure, we are in this together for as long as it takes. Our Journey has just begun, I know now she most likely will take medication for a long time, but, as I found out that day, the best medicine for our hearts and our spirits will always be FREE. We shall return to the same place, the same beach, the same spot, this time I want to join her in the sacred ritual of finding inner peace, spiritual energy to continue on the path that has been laid before the two of us.

The sun was almost setting when we arrived home, I noticed she was still sleeping, I turned the car off and for a brief moment I looked at her beautiful face then I touch her hair ever so slightly, kissed her forehead and said quietly: " You are home my little girl... You are home."

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255