healing
How to heal fully and properly.
A Story of Impelled Ambitions
Her sneakers are soft on the wooden floor. She's made this walk a thousand times over, and today feels no different. She avoids the spots of sun that reach from the windows to the floor, not letting her stride penetrate their rays. The walk to the spruce wood door isn’t far, only just down the hall of other doors just like it. She always worries that she'll enter the wrong room, but this has yet to happen. The person on the other side of the door waits patiently, and barely looks up when she presses her fingers tenderly against the surface and pushes the dark planks open. She makes her way over to the blue bean bag chair that sits lonesome in the corner below two windows. She wonders sometimes if she's the only one who sits in it, as it always seems to be in the same position as how she left it. Once seated, each time, her eyes glance around the room for changes. Sometimes it's the plant, its leaves brighter or duller, straighter or droopier. Other times it's the order of the folders on the shelf, one red to the left now on the right, misplaced. Sometimes it's the rug, offset to the table in a new direction, but it's always off set. Perhaps someday it'll be on set. She does this not to be observative, but instead to avoid speaking first. She knows each day she comes is a new opportunity for her to break this habit, but today was not that day. Perhaps next thursday, at 3pm on 457 North Moscarin Ave, second floor, 4th door on the left after the lobby.
By Irah Thurber5 years ago in Motivation
How To Make Your Regrets A Source Of Strength
Pick your most painful regret and do this to heal it. Ever wish you could go back in time and slap yourself? I can. In between my first and second year of college, I languished at my mom’s house like a lump of Jell-O that refused to even wiggle.
By Nate Rifkin5 years ago in Motivation
The Healing Bench
She seemed to just stare off into the distance. What was she thinking about so deeply that her river of thoughts seemed to catch me in its current? She seemed tired but well put together, nonetheless. Her hair fell around her face in curled rebellion and yet it worked so charmingly on her soft feminine features. Her skin was deeply tanned with a reddish undertone. She wore a sage green camisole and denim shorts with a white cardigan. In her hands, I could see a black notebook and a pen, but she seemed to be working through her next words in her mind before she commits them to paper. The sun was bright, and the scenery appeared particularly vivid today. I just had a good feeling, but I'm not sure why. Things honestly hadn't been going very well lately.
By Evie Fisher5 years ago in Motivation
Inside the forge
I have entered apart of my life with a new awareness and ability to control my perception. The mindset is crucial as the vessel burns in the depths of the night upon the water. I take a breath and focus on the present as I anticipate the visions of the past to come crashing into view. Before I learned to burn bridges to ensure progress forward I had to collect the memories to utilize building a foundation.
By Samuel Bitner5 years ago in Motivation
Twisted Turn
How could this be! Lily woke up drenched in sweat, awoken by her dream, she could feel it in her hands a suitcase filled with money! Lily then rose from bed, turned on her lamp and sat down on her recliner next to her old vintage desk looked at the clock it was 3:33am. She then hovered over to open the drawer in her desk and grabbed her little black notebook which had her favorite small pen stuffed within the spiral grid. She wrote and wrote until the sharp lead in the small pencil turned flat, but it was only a dream! She stared at her pencil and her surroundings in that dark stuffy gloomy room, then proceeded to look out the window and saw the most amazing night sky. All the bright city lights glowed like the beautiful fireflies in her country once had under the shimmering moonlight. After all she did live in one of New York city's old town buildings up on the 3rd floor. The gorgeous view and the amazing feeling it had created didn’t last long. Lily took her gaze off and glanced at what she had written in her little black notebook. She crunched up the paper in her hand and threw it to the thrash. Wow! What a waste, she huffed! She jumped back to bed and started sobbing, "How did I end up so alone?" She sobbed and continued crying until her puffy eyes gave up, closed and fell asleep defeated by the overwhelming feeling of emptiness. Lily awoke next morning she saw a glance of the beautiful morning. The warm sun rays shined in underneath the door crack making her room twinkle with brightness, almost like a disco ball. She rose from bed and stood still and absorbed the beauty of it all. “Thank you god for another day of life” she said as she felt the warm rays heal her wounds from the night before. She stood up and got ready for work. Work was just a few steps away in her desk. Covid had made things easier in a sense. No freeway traffic in the evenings. However Lily was miserable, self medicating due to extreme anxiety issues and insecurities of not fitting in and being social as everyone else in the corporate world. Still she had to make ends meet, she could not bare live in the cold streets without a cent. It felt like so much at times, she could not keep doing this to her body and and mind and so was determined to stop medicating but withdrawal symptoms had crawled in creating so many nightmares and surreal dreams like the one she had last night. This time as she was getting ready, she felt extremely dizzy and disoriented, quickly entered panic mode, heart racing fast, electrical shocks creeping in her body and mind, thought she was a goner for good this time. Lily kneeled and prayed to her guarding angels, she had seen a video where they mentioned guardian Angels place a feather in your life to let you know they hear you. So the prayers continued "Please guardian angels if you exist show me my feather, give me a sign I still matter in this lifetime". All morning just prayed for healing. After what seemed like hours she hopped in the shower looked in the mirror, spoke to herself, appreciated her body more than ever and was grateful for still breathing. As soon as she dried herself she headed to her room, opened up the second drawer on the vintage desk and behold her eyes. What did she see?.....So, about a year ago she had purchased a ring, a ring with a unique design. A feathered ring, and now here it was in front of her. Thank you god! She knew this was no coincidence. Her angels are watching her. "This is it! I have the power within to turn around my outcome!" She whispered. Considering how miserable she was at work and wanting to stop self medicating she took a drastic decision and gave her 2 weeks notice. Decided that enough is enough! She did not even worry about how she was going to end up paying her bills, her well being meant more than anything at this point. Last day came and she closed laptop and went out for a walk. Every second felt like a dream, feeling the cool crispy wind in her face, she did not care that she was walking alone at 8pm all she felt was whole and peace. As she continued the walk she kept admiring the swaying trees and the chirping crickets. Life's simple pleasures don't come all bundled up with a pretty bow she thought. Soon after she entered the park she was taken back by a young man sitting alone in one of the benches. He looked all dirty and thin, probably had not eaten in months. She felt bad for him, clothes all ripped up, she approached and gave him a dollar. He looked up taking his stare away from the floor and said "Thank you very much" . "You're welcome" she said and continued her stroll down the enchanted park. It was now 10pm, the park was empty, she turned back and started walking towards the park entrance. The man from earlier was still in the bench she had last seen him in. She paced faster feeling unease and glanced back every 20 seconds to make sure no one was following her. Once home she bundled inside her covers and huddle her feet close to her like a ball. Next morning, still a bit paranoid remembering the creepy guy from last night and the fact she had just quit her job brought in hopelessness. She grabbed her coat and went for a morning walk this time her surroundings seem to be going slow motion, she was dazed and had officially check off, the will to survive in this world had officially been stepped on over and over again into tiny rubble pieces. Her mind continued to wonder off until she heard a scream which brought her back to reality. "Watch out!" yelled a man from the corner of the street, Lily looked up and it was the man from last night, she could see him making hand signals and yelling, suddenly pure darkness was all she could see. Boooooommmm!!!!! "I have no idea where I am?" Lily became so delusional, she had no idea what had happened. Miss! Miss! she heard a voice call out to her, she opened her eyes did not know how long she had been out for, saw the time, it was 11:11pm. "Nurse, nurse, she's opening her eyes!" she heard a man scream! Lily looked and saw the same guy from before. "Where am I?" she whimpered. "You're at the hospital, you got ran over by a car because of me, you were looking right at me when the van crashed into you!" "What?" Lily said in shock. "Yes! I'm afraid that's not all, you had a serious injury and I hate to say this but your right hand has been amputated! he said, Lily overwhelmed by the dreadful news turned pale, what had she just heard, completely in denial did not dare look down all of a sudden a chilling sensation creeped in her whole body, and flashes of her troubled days in her small apartment seemed so miniscule at this exact moment, what was she complaining about, she had it all! She struggled for weeks to come to the terms that she no longer had her right hand. The young man, would come and visit her often feeling guilty of the situation. He asked for forgiveness and would often talk to her about his life. Lily still in shock would not dare speak a word, she just listened to him all day long. The young man would come visit every now and then knowing she had no relatives to come see her. His visits made Lily's day all the time his stories where so fascinating. She wondered how he ended in the streets. One morning the nurse opened the curtains. Lily admired the nice garden just outside the glass sliding door, and this day found the strength to speak. As planned she gained enough courage to talk. "Hey!" How did you end up lonely?" she said "Lily!! You're talking! This is a miracle!" he jumped in excitement. He smiled with a huge grin on his face. "You want to hear my story? I'll tell you, I was adopted when I was 2 yrs old, my mother passed away and my father was so young they placed me for adoption. My adopted parents were an older couple who wished to have kids but 5 yrs after my adoption my mother got diagnosed with cancer and passed away. My father deteriorated and drowned himself with alcohol. Very sad to witness at a very young age. I cannot have it any other way, while my mom lived she gave me the best 5yrs of my life and I'm grateful for the memories she engraved in my heart. Soon after my father passed away with sorrow and I was placed in foster care and bounced house to house, as soon as I was of age I ventured on my own. I wondered around walking under bridges and churches wishing to have a loving family one day and someone to talk to. I had lost meaning in my life. When you saw me at the park I was zoned out of here, but now I know I'm not alone!" Lily's jaw dropped opened in astonishment, here she was handicapped and this man poured nothing but love her way. She smiled, "Jefferson I like you" she said. They both giggled. Lily had never felt so alive. She had told Jefferson about her childhood adventures back in her home country and how they were the best years of her life until her parents brought her to the states at age 6. They had also passed to a tragic car accident and she had also been through the foster care system. These were the life stories they shared on most days. After much loneliness their life's were fulfilled. One day still in recovery Lily turned on the tv and saw an older man asking for info on his son who he had given up for adoption at age 2, he was offering a $20,000 reward for his find. Lily a bit perplexed thought "Could this be a coincidence"? Jefferson had just shared this part of his life with her, she called the hotline posted on the news. She gave much detail about Jefferson and they provided her with details regarding the toddler who the man had placed in adoption years ago. Same date of birth, same hospital. "I'm going crazy!" Lily thought. Jefferson arrived that day and saw camera man, news media surrounding Lily, "What is going on?" he asked, Lily smiled, "Jefferson I believe this is your biological father", "What? he questioned. Lily you're nuts! "No! Jefferson please take the DNA test" she said. He did and it was a match. Jefferson's father. Dr. Neil cried and cried. "My boy I have climbed mountains and crossed the sea to see you once again in my life, you're pale and thin but I have you here with me and you don't have to worry about a thing never ever". Jefferson cried and thanked Lily for everything. "Thank you for saving my life when I didn't believe in myself anymore" Lily said. "Lily you saved mine" he replied. Jefferson's life changed drastically after that, his father was filthy rich. The $20,000 had served Lily for her prosthetic hand. Jefferson and Lily were madly in love, they soon married. Lily was indulged with happiness and forever grateful for the life they had created. Their names remain marked in the bench in the park where they met.
By Ruth S Rivera5 years ago in Motivation
Once Forgotten but Twice Remembered.
Getting lost in his thoughts of grief, he leaned on his steering wheel and started to cry. His tears made him remember that he was alone in this great big world with no family, no close friends, and no dream to purpose his existence. For the last seven years, he had committed his life to an employer, and with a change of administration, his treasured work ended. He found himself fighting a losing battle hoping to obtain an approved unemployment claim, but the appeal was denied for the second time. If he misses one more payment, his family farmhouse will enter foreclosure, and immediate eviction will be his fate. They say a man not supposed to cry, but what exactly is he to do when the pressure of the world is crushing his will?
By Johnathan Patrick5 years ago in Motivation
Self-love and unapologetic queerness in recovery
As I was writing my Full Moon intentions and what I’m releasing tonight, and thinking more about what I want to bring in, I’ve realized that I have already had a lot of moments lately where I feel like I’m in a higher state of joy than I had been in a while. Extra energized; smiling and laughing more, scream singing songs in the car, feeling so confident and empowered within myself when I am getting ready for the day and just truely fucking enjoying who I am, in this moment and the person I’ve been and still am blossoming into. And she’s always been there, but for a long time she’s been scared and she didn’t know how to tap into this joy, or that she deserved it, didn’t know if and how she could access it.
By Emily S.5 years ago in Motivation
Please RSVP
You’ve made the RSVP list. You know just who you want at your 34th birthday celebration and to be honest, it’s quite the particular list if you will. As you’ve gotten older, “less is more” and yes, “quality over quantity” is no cliché, but now somewhat a part of the golden rules of your life. You decided this right after you decided that adding more folic acid to your diet and chugging green smoothies for breakfast was part of the new regime you called “life in your 30s.”
By Dez Marie5 years ago in Motivation
A Miracle.
It was a cold summer night. As the breeze wisped through the maple trees it caused the shadows cast by the moonlight to form shapes of large creatures. The park bench that Victoria sat on also reflected the moonlight off of the shiny waterproof coating. She often walked to the park after the sun had set and the darkness had begun to fill the sky. Victoria was a self-proclaimed insomniac because when she would try to calm down her mind she would find a plethora of new thoughts flood in. Her late-night walks soothed her mind, and she felt her connection to the earth best at that time. The wind blew a strong gust which caused her long red hair to blow right into her face. Once the wind ceased, she slowly brushed away her hair and placed it behind her right ear. She had been sitting there for almost an hour now just admiring the sky and basking in the moonlight.
By Emma Rogers5 years ago in Motivation
Lost Time
Stacey’s face slowly melted as if it were molten glass. Her skin dripped like wax, each drop coinciding with the pounding in her head. Stacey arduously turned towards her reflection, wading through dark molasses. What stared back seemed subhuman. Roman numerals outlined where her head should have been, circling three iron whiskers. The thinnest of the three appeared broken, spinning at an unmatched pace while the rest of her trudged to keep up. The metallic arm continued whirling around tirelessly as she began to dissolve into nothingness.
By Liz Parroquin5 years ago in Motivation
