Samuel Bitner
Bio
I want to share the energy of my writings. It comes from an infinite place I listen to often.
Stories (44)
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Journal 4
My eyes heavy I remember the visions that await me when slumber takes hold. I have watched us die over and over as if I believe I can find a way to stop the bleeding. To rearrange and reframe the story already unfolded. When I am not lost in delirium I know I can never find you again. It's better this way, but a part of me wants you to know I figured it out. I found what I was looking for. It wouldn't have saved us if I was stronger than. The newly evolved maturity has caused several areas of leveling up. I have let go of most of the resistance that choked me. Here I am though. Lingering.
By Samuel Bitner3 years ago in Journal
Journal 3
The echo of you haunts me through every corridor and over every precipice. We both know that it is only in my head. It is the broken carousel that drags the dead horse round and round again. I find laughter in that thought sometimes. As if I am desperate to provide comfort to myself. I lingered too long in the light and witnessed the portrait of god. A dead corpse upon a cross now only a symbol for what lack of mercy can provide.
By Samuel Bitner3 years ago in Journal
Journal 2
I have known loneliness along the way to arrive here. I have known loss and defeat. I have known love and fleeting bliss. In this strange void I have begun to call pergatory I am left to my own devices. The thoughts in my head have become overly crowded and I find I no longer recognize my focus. I have become unraveled. I have become disappointed. I have become nothing from something. I sit in the memories of self-destruction and reminisce.
By Samuel Bitner3 years ago in Journal
Journal 1 The inner child
I had to accept a truth as I sat silently with myself. It was never my love that was fragile. It was I who couldn't bare the intensity of my love. I tried to give it away but in the end the realization is I couldn't truly love another until I stopped drowning in my hatred. Which I understand was an idea of a defense mechanism.
By Samuel Bitner3 years ago in Confessions
Grateful
I walk differently. As a calm soaks into my bones, I no longer fret even as the adrenaline courses through me. I focus on controlling my breathing and absorbing the energy surrounding. In this I find comfort as events unravel and expose themselves. In this I practice belief in myself.
By Samuel Bitner3 years ago in Journal
let go
I awoke to a war of famine and death. I felt my fear begging me to seek what I was becoming. The conquest to save a brother from a hell produced by a systematic destruction. See I was one buried alive too. I know the pain that you feel for I have been apart of it. I stood slowly as my heart rate increased. "There you go." "Get up." she said once more. I inhaled slowly and over filled my lungs. I relished in the intensity. I let the vision awaken. I allowed the rust to fall from my flesh and muscles. I exhaled completely and acknowledged the adrenaline flooding my veins. Steady. Do not let it over throw you. The conflict of the storm has arrived. There is no more time to wait. There is no more time for rest. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You have granted permission to thy self to walk through the crimson cellar door. To let it rise to the surface. The truth of your essence. The universe speaks clearly of what is unfolding and the consequence of an evil unseen in the shadows. Only sacrifice and relentless devotion to the conquest can endure the trials of a crucible of this scale.
By Samuel Bitner4 years ago in Confessions
undoing
Where were you when his boot was crushing my throat? Where were you when the lights went out and god spoke nothing? I will never forget what you created in me. The fever still expels the viruses you left within me. None of you could truly embrace me. I think it had something to do with fear and yet my mind speaks of how lazy the past was. I laugh in a strange attempt to cope. I know who I am after all this time travelled. I am soaked in rage. Just waiting to feel the spark ignite it all. This derives from a place where the kid was sacrificed because the village had to burn. The people had to know their mistakes and there was a price to pay. Those fires still scream in my hollow pupils. Distant screaming like ringing in my ears.
By Samuel Bitner4 years ago in Humans
antagonist
I became the chosen by the intentions I created. I found god within and so without I create space to ascend beyond my flesh and bones. If you only knew what I would do. To ensure I walk through the locked doors until it is obvious that I have dissolved my limitations. I left knives in my back until an armor formed. I left curses behind and I watched pieces of me die to get here. This opportunity is more than your blood, sweat, and tears. I forget all about the grudges and the wasted energy. As I forgive myself I allow myself to forgive the environments and people who helped create the monster. A child on a war path to cure the mental anguish. To find resolve in a lesson of what it takes to find balance. I know the evil that we all do.
By Samuel Bitner4 years ago in Humans
fateless
Your fear poisons me. Something like breathing in the fog and letting dust collect in my lungs. The promise was betrayed by the weakness of these bones. I linger in their madness to a point of breaking. No longer able to hold back this disaster must begin. I suffocate in hatred as I rise with the flames. You see me as a monster and in this you project death upon us. I watch timelines die. It is horrific and it reminds me that the loneliness is real. It will not go away and it can not be stopped for it is the truth of this realm. I seek the ability to devour the lack of me. I find collections of memories that feel empty and I let them mock me for the emptiness I feel. I failed you for I failed myself in not trying anymore.
By Samuel Bitner4 years ago in Humans
Of the earth
We have a choice to make. It is a decision that will infinitely change the course of direction you are traveling. It doesn't have to be a conscious choice and in that the system tears us apart. Those chosen must rise. Those who refuse the third eye are betrayed by the enemies behind the smoke screens and deceiving mirrors. The power is within the choice. The power is within all the answers that will always remain inside.
By Samuel Bitner4 years ago in Fiction
The calling of the fire
They will never know the depths you have traveled. They will never see the shattered reflections and the buried. They will never be able to keep up with the chaos of myself. I have found the tear in space where timelessness speaks to me. It beckons like the light dragging me back into the forests. Back into the mountains where we all truly belong. Don't we? I sit there in the noise of it all and relish in knowing it is simply temporary. All of it. The suffering I have know and the pain of all these people. I know their fears and I can feel their agonies unspoken. In this I force myself to acknowledge to the ability to know and feel their joy in abundance. I am tired. Maybe I should step inside the tomb of the mind for a bit and find the truths of the ancients.
By Samuel Bitner4 years ago in Humans
