healing
How to heal fully and properly.
These Hands
When I was a child, I was always told that I was big. When you’re young, everything is bigger than you, so when people compliment you, saying you’ll be a great football player or wrestler, you don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re just happy that those smiling faces are pointed at you, giving you attention. You’re told you’re strong, and they celebrate when you break a large stick in half or throw a ball an impressive distance. You don’t understand why they’re clapping and cheering you on, but you know you like it. It’s your first taste of pride, and you revel in it. You bask in the glory of attention, but you don’t understand why they sing your praises. It is because of this ignorance that leaves you desperately trying to understand why those same faces look at you with horror when you show them a new feat of strength. The chicks had just hatched, and you wanted to show that you were stronger than that hen that chased you around the yard. The chick barely struggled as you closed your hands around it, and it made only a few sharp peeps as you squeezed it until you felt the crunch of its bones and saw the bright red liquid trickle down your arm. Your mother screamed when you presented to her your new conquest, looking as though you were the monster you were afraid hid in your closet. She never tells you what you did wrong, only screams at you that it was while she cleans your hands of this apparent transgression. From then on, they don’t look at you with those admiring eyes. They stare nervously as you pet a dog or collect eggs from the chickens, constantly reminding you to be nice to them. You’ve always been nice to them, why would they keep saying that?
By Caleb Arentz5 years ago in Motivation
A new month and A new Me
Well this was the holiday weekend. And a lot of things transpired. So to bring you up to date, I have been going through mountains of healing lately and this time it was me and my moms relationship that needed help. Growing up my mom was my best friend. She had already laid my brother to rest and had me as her only child. She married my dad when I was 5. Yes my real dad. He was a gambler ladies man, and outdoors type of guy. Never held down a steady job and my mom always had her parents to ask to make up what my dad couldn't provide. She struggled through-out my life trying to keep the lights on and food on the table. But two or three jobs it didn't matter what she had to do she always made sure my needs were met. I was a troubled child. Had no desire to live at all. my mom was always crying or chasing my dad or busy trying to occupy her time so she didn't think about it much. So I taught myself how to heal myself and never understood why I hurt so bad. So I have been trying to figure out why my whole life. I have been a healer since birth. I never understood what that was or why I was the one that was labeled different all the time. Its because I could feel what others were feeling and it hurt just as bad or it made me just as excited. The pain was always following me around like i couldn't let it go. But i also didn't know that is what it was. I didn't know how to release the pain I felt for others or for myself. God reached out and touched me about three years ago and my life hasn't been the same since. My eyes have been so opened I have no clue how I hadn't seen all of this before. And I started to think about how I am a mother now and have morals and standards as my mom had shown me over the years. Yet every single time I seem to be stable, I self destruct and purpose-fully go back to a place of survival. In light of all my experiences mistakes and battles, I finally wanted to confront my mom about the shoes I am suppose to fill as an adult. Do I fill the ones that she brought me up in or the ones she wares now?? Two VERY completely different pairs let me tell you. As I cried and spill my out once again begging for an answer, she once again got mad and began yelling. This reaction has been the same every e--time I have tried to resolve this pain between her and I. Some how and some way, it has always been her telling me that the pain was caused by my own decisions as to why her and I are no longer close like we use to be. We have been more like sisters my whole life. And she always said I was going to out grow her. That she was 21 and holding. Well, she spoke it out loud and thats exactly what happened. She told me of all her pain in life experiences and adventures when we were talking and bonding my whole life. And I noticed that all the pain she had went through I had somehow soaked up in my little body and took it as my mission to fix it for her. I didnt realize it was a thought process and heart pain that needed healing and instead i was finding the same pain in other people in other forms. All these years I honestly had no clue that is what I was doing. Now ever since God demanded my attention and my eyes have been opened, I know see how the flow of energy effect all things. I said to my mom that we were both in the same situation now and it was time to start loving herself again like she has begged me to do for years that i was right here next to her in the same situation and we could do this. It wasnt about me wanting her to be alone or keeping her all to myself. It was about her careing about her again. The same cross roads I am too in. Everyday is a struggle to see a bright future. But I am for sure on a different path and can see the light in places I haven't been able to in years. In the aknowlegement from my mothers words when she said she hadn't cared in years, I knew I had finally gotten through and I instantly said Thank You so very much because thats all I needed to hear to be able to let go of all the pain. I don't think she really understands the weight and signifigance of that statement and what it meant to me. However actions speak louder than words and she has told me good night and she loved me every night since then. Once again I can feel my best friend that I have missed for so long. I know somewhere deep down that the road ahead of both us is full of love and smiles. I will never give up on her and I am so thankful that she isnt giving up on herself.
By Angel m Chronister5 years ago in Motivation
Being a single mom is the hardest, most empowering thing I’ve ever done.
Being a single mom is the hardest, most empowering thing I’ve ever done. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom. I catch myself picking up my phone a lot. I have to remind myself that the life I created needs all my attention. One thing I really didn’t expect was the intense isolation that comes with being a single mom. When you’re married, you’re often so used to your partner's constant presence that you can crave having the house to yourself, those were the days. Sure, I’d seen my mother do it, but like her, I never envisioned this for myself. Co-parenting seemed to be something I would only read about in the blogs not see in my real life. However this is my life and I wouldn’t change anything about it.
By Kiaisha5 years ago in Motivation
HEALING COLLECTIVE FOR AMERICA
SKY Breath Meditation Technique for HEALING AMERICA! In the current times of crisis, have you experienced getting angry, frustrated, disappointed with your loved ones for little things? How many times have we all behaved in a way that is not our true nature and turned others off?
By Tushar Unadkat5 years ago in Motivation
Creating through my Cancer
I have always been a creative. Since I was younger I would doodle on any and everything. Even the walls (sorry mom). But society has brainwashed us from school age to believe that being an artist isn’t a real stable job. So eventually I grew up and started creating less and less.
By Lori Love5 years ago in Motivation
Can we really get out of the comparison game?
The answer is NO. Social media among so many things actually ended up narrowing our perspectives. Today, beauty is only about perfection - sunlit blemish free face, hourglass figure and a lifestyle to die for. A happy life is all about having it all - picture perfect parties, couple are completely in love doing Instagram reels with their in-law and cooking Pinterest worthy dishes looking like a supermodel. Let me stop myself before I get started with their travel stories.
By Rashmi G5 years ago in Motivation
Pencils with a Purpose
Pencils with a Purpose is a non-for profit organization. We help children in 3rd world countries with school supplies. I started collecting pencils after a met a little girl named Juanita in Nicaragua using a pencil as little as her pinky. She was going to use that pencil until she could no longer used it. She even wrote my name on the wall. I thought her mom would get upset and she simply said “my mom lets me write on the wall when I do not have paper. The family valued education. She would walk about one hour to get to school. The school was very simple. No decorations, no posters, no extra items, just plain white walls.
By Marcella Martinez5 years ago in Motivation
Grieve your griefs as they come
a lesson I’m learning, better late than never. Grieve it as you notice it happening. Fling your heart open, feel every tiny bit of fucking pain as soon and as deeply as you possibly can. Trust me. I’m in all of the griefs I never had time for, or energy, or even just a theoretical flashlight to see my way through that which goes bump in that endless journey of night.
By Synecdoche5 years ago in Motivation
Why hindsight’s 20/20
Hindsight refers to looking back or reflecting on things in the past. 20/20 means perfect vision. The phrase “hindsight is 20/20” implies that when we look back at events that happened in our lives, we see things clearly that were not clear to us at that time in the past. What was once blurry and hard to grasp becomes clear and precise. I used to wonder why this was the case, why the situations are difficult to process at the moment they occur. When I asked people for their insight on this matter, they’d say that maybe we understand things better in the future because we mature as time passes by. Does this mean that we were immature back the when it was all happening? I don’t think so. As humans, our emotions affect us in various ways. You won’t expect someone who lost his job to be happy about it. In that exact moment, he feels the sadness, pain, and disappointment. Years later, that person got the promotion he’s been waiting for in the job that he found after he got fired. Now, he knows that the reason he lost his prior job was because he was meant to excel in another company. That’s just how life works.
By Margaux Cadenas5 years ago in Motivation
Hope
Our community is in a jam. How can we expand? Provide what most will not Trauma Care in this joint. Education is due for me and you. With the possibility of starting with me, giving me some type of uplift, encouragement, and motivation. I am trying to fit in although I cannot win. In this place in this space. Being me feels unnatural, different and strange somehow, I must rearrange maybe even change my mindset you see. Because it is hard being me. In the shadows of my dark pass at times I feel like a fool spinning in this whirlwind of a pool. Cannot sleep at night, needing something to hold tight. To fight this battle not only in my head. Stress, struggles, and storms why was not I told that I would get so old with these things going I might as well do something wrong. That is how I get attention not to even mention when I ask for help, I get turned around, sent back and abused, what am I to do. To learn and burn along with what we earn. Looking out is no joke for some things I will not accept while others have expectation has, I have hesitation. Reservation on you asking me to listen, learn, and change. All the while you arrange something strange in the air, that mess up my atmosphere. Acting like I am not aware of the things you do; it may be simple to you. But I must get a grip and figure out what to do or I maybe finally through with all that is going on. For I know something is wrong. Trying to figure it out, takes me and you. Can you help me understand what this is about? Can you give me some resources please, help me out? Trying to fill this vowed and not listen to all this noise that is going on in my head so strong, as I attempt to figure out what this is all about. Looking for some answers, do you have a clue? What shall I do? As I go to what I call friends that just do not understand, because they are going through it too, trying to figure what to do. We cannot do this alone; we have been trying and now we do not get along. We need your help. Society and everybody else, let us join hands and unite because that is what this demand. Yes, you and me we can do this and get through if you just have a clue there is a lot we can do, together yes you and I we do not need a spy. But those that cares and really are aware of what is going on to help make us strong, I do not think this wrong. As I am aware of what is needed to be. For, you will not allow what I have in my mind because you just want to control me instead of listening to my goal. That will get me to hold to my mind all the time, that it needs to be changed so that I will gain something that will get me far so that I can be the star to bring hope in this place, so I will not be a disgrace to change in the end so I can win. To be able to achieve the ultimate thing to heal in my pain so that I can rearrange what I felt was destined to be in all my misery that I got hope to anticipate the healing in me to get to hold on to your help so I can be what I should have long ago as I let go of my past do not you know. Trauma is real and I need to let go so I can feel what is real and now you know you know the deal. Hope, Healing, and Help all this is great.
By Sharon McKellery5 years ago in Motivation
