healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Growing Authentically
My Most authentic self appeared most in March of 2020, during the world’s Pandemic. During this time, A host of emotions overwhelmed me. These emotions made me feel unattractive, unloved, unappreciated, unvalued, uncentered, unable to handle my disappointments, etc. I was alone and had to face my younger self, who I hid for almost forty years. During the years, I dealt with my present self who recognized feelings of being vulnerable about my weight, my looks, my recent disability, and being abandoned by family and friends. Growing up as a foster child adopted by a family who was abusive to my sisters and foster brother, These cruel family members never forgot to remind each (us) foster children we weren’t loved, how unstable our parents were, how our parents didn’t love us or could care less about our survival. Years were spent criticizing us (foster children) about family dynamics that occurred before our births. Charter and Body shaming was designed for us to believe our existence on earth had no purpose and we would never “amount to anything.” Unfortunately, these were the abusers’ exact terms, I remember being narcissistic when I was younger. I dislike myself so much I would never look in the mirror. Going to school was my highlight. I could escape being me and could be anybody I felt was prettier, smarter, or cooler. In elementary school, I met a Hispanic girl. She spoke differently from me and I admired that, was beautiful with long hair, and walked with a cute pigeon-toed-like formation. I remember trying to speak, walk, and look like her. I was often made fun of because I was not my authentic self. I felt being myself was ever good enough. The trauma instilled in me as a toddler, child, preteen, teen, and early adult left several scars and self-destructive behavior. I was wounded and tired of not feeling enough. Finally, I decided to heal myself by going to therapy. My Therapist helped me to get to the root of my issues. First, I embrace my authentic self by writing myself letters of apology. In these letters, I wrote about the years I abused, neglected myself, and allowed others to do the same too. Next, I practiced looking in the mirror and practicing saying positive affirmations that uplifted me and fed my soul. Recently, I began addressing my younger self I’ve hidden for years due to embarrassment, abandonment, low self-esteem, low self-image, and emotional wounds I acquired. Also, I completed a vision board that included images of me. My self-discovery has been the cause of many tears, anxiety attacks, accepting my images in the mirror...whether I approve of them or not, painful memories, celebrations of accomplishments, the forgiveness of negative actions, appreciating my growth and discovering my true authentic self. Discovery of my authentic self I’ve learned to fly (First Love Yourself), Embarrass all of me, bad eyesight, my body, my emotions, my habits, my mistakes, my disability, positive moments, dreams, and endeavors, Next, I’ve decided I’m enough and I deserve everything my heart desires and much more. I deserved to be loved and cherished, I deserve forgiveness. I deserve the finer things in life. I deserve acceptance. I deserve the world to embarrass me. I deserved to be heard. I deserved to be acknowledged for who I’ve worked hard to become as opposed to what others want me to be. Presently, I’ve accepted my silence and know that I don’t have to have the last word to be POWERFUL. I no longer have to pretend to be someone other than myself. I learned to be embarrassed. “To become conscious and aware, we must be authentic. Authenticity is the highest form of being.” Teal Swan. “ As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know this authenticity.” Charlie Chaplin
By Trinia Carr4 years ago in Motivation
Tics and All
When I was in the third grade, my teacher called my mom to talk. She told her that I was making weird movements in class and asked her if she could get me to stop. She didn't want the other kids to think I was weird. When my mom asked me about it, I told her doing the movements made me feel good, and I couldn't wait until later to do them because I didn't know when I was going to need to feel good. My mom told the teacher I couldn't stop, and that was that. It was just who I was. If that made me weird, so be it. My mom didn't care, and neither did I.
By Caitlin Jill Anders4 years ago in Motivation
The Remarkably Real Challenge
Episode 5 of the STARZ Original, Power Book II took Tariq through an emotional high & immediate low, all in the last 10 minutes of the show. Tariq St. Patrick is a college kid, in the scene, he’s in a court hearing trying to get custody of his sister, Jasmine, after their grandmother’s alcohol abuse left Jasmine in foster care. Tariq wants to keep his family together and gets granted temporary custody.
By Zeneida Sanz4 years ago in Motivation
The Man in the Mirror
In the summer of 1988, Michael Jackson released a song that would redefine my uncle’s life. The song was none other than “Man in the Mirror”. This particular uncle (Jack) married into the family by way of my mom’s youngest sister. Uncle Jack was the product of child neglect. Both his parents were avid heroin users. As he got older, he found himself continually malnourished and eventually bouncing between foster homes while his parents were either on a binge or in “rehab”. Life as a foster child was no walk in the park either. He would recall wishing for a life like those in popular 80’s shows like Punky Brewster and Different Strokes; showing kids who were taken in by compassionate adults who offered the children a chance at a better life. Uncle Jack recounted when he turned 18 saying, “I was flushed out of the foster system like a turd; and found myself standing on the murky shores of adulthood, homeless and not knowing what the hell to do next”.
By Jay Baker Stories4 years ago in Motivation
“Waking up this morning, I smile”
It has been quite some time since I quit my job. I no longer have an excellent compensation package that allows me the comforts of the fancy things I was accustomed to having while I was working. I have also lost the feeling of being respected, having control of my time and surroundings in the workplace, and other benefits that came with my job that added a false sense of satisfaction to my life.
By Raise Life Up4 years ago in Motivation
Random Acts of Kindness
It’s amazing to think about all the times someone I didn’t know opened the door for me, let me get in line first at the grocery store, or helped me push my car out of the middle of the street when it got stuck in a snowstorm. However, nowadays, I feel like it’s too few and far between. So many people are in such a hurry to get to the next place they’re going to that they hardly take the time to notice if someone really needs help around them. Yes, it does happen, but you have to seek it out. Maybe it's because it's not recognized in the same way that evil or bad news is. It’s interesting how, over time, the act of helping people just because it is the right thing to do has morphed into doing it for notoriety’s sake in certain situations. I think we all would agree that doing something for your name in the spotlight or for that 15 minutes of fame is not doing it for the right reason(s). It's not a genuine approach to making someone’s day or life better either--thinking that you are somehow owed something for your generosity. The world doesn't owe you anything. Other than to be respectful, people don't owe you anything either. So, let's not expect anything in return. Do something kind because it is the right thing to do, no matter who is watching. Be more self-less rather than self-ish. In order to live more like the former, self-examination and reflection are key. They're the keys to becoming a better person and growing in maturity. We can't do either unless we take a step back and look at how we're living our lives day in and day out.
By Jim Gaven4 years ago in Motivation
