Suicide Prevention

You want to kill yourself? It's 10.53pm on a Sunday night. You've already said goodnight to your parents and siblings. They think your sound asleep. Your at your desk twirling a pen in your hand. You stare at the blank piece of paper as the tears refill your eyes. You don't want to do it without a goodbye letter. You want to make sure your family knows why you did it. The tears fall on the paper and you can help the frustration as the droplets begin to ruin the paper. You crumble it up and break down even harder. You realise you can't write the letter, so you look in the mirror once more and watch as your final tears falls. Only a couple moments later your heart stops and the blood escapes your body to create a puddle on the floor. But no one is gonna care right?

It's now 6.47am Monday morning. Your mother waits downstairs in the kitchen to give you your lunch money. She's already late for work but she doesn't want you to stress about making lunch for yourself. She doesn't know what's taking you so long. She yells your name a couple times, but no response. She has no idea your cold dead body is lying in your bedroom. She thinks you slept in so she runs up the stairs and knocks on the door but there is no answer. She opens the door and screams, horrified. She runs to you and holds your limp, cold dead body. The tears seem like a waterfall, everlasting. She sits there with you, cradled in her arms for a good hour until she has the strength to get up and call your father. Your father rushes home and they cry together. They pick up your siblings from school and try to explain to them what has happened. Your older brother runs out of your room into his. He slams the door. He thinks it's all his fault. He's always picked on you, called you names and starting arguments just to push your buttons. He punches his wall and allows the tears to pour out of him. Your little sister doesn't understand. She asks if it's because she never leaves you alone when you have friendsover or because she always tries to steal your stuff. It's hard to explain something like that to a 6 year old. But she probably wouldn't care anyways right?

It's now Wednesday and your mum finally has the courage to go to your school. She hasn't left the house since you took your life but she knew she had to go. She enters your classroom only to see the teacher sitting at her desk grading papers. It's 12.19pm so your classmates are at lunch. Your teacher greets her and asks where you've been. Your mother bursts in tears and automatically your teacher is astonished. She has no idea what's wrong but tries to comfort your mother. Your mum explains what happened and your teacher cries too. She begins to have flashbacks of all the times she yelled at you for not paying attention and not doing your homework. She thinks it's her fault for being so hard on you. Your classmates return and are confused. A couple students recognise your mum and want to say hi but they know something is wrong. Your teacher calls the principal in and your mum explains. Every one in the classroom is now crying. Even that annoying boy who sat beside you and threw gum in your hair, is crying thinking it's his fault. Even the nerd who wouldn't let you copy his homework is crying, thinking it's his fault. They probably all faking it because no one actually cares, right?

A week has gone by and it's time for your funeral. Nobody has ever seen one this large. Almost every kid in your school and their families are there. Actually almost anyone you've come into contact with, has come. It's like a pool of black as one looks over the people sitting in the chairs as your corpse lay in the casket. Every one goes up to speak. And after every speech everyone begins to cry even harder. Even the emotionless jock is in hysterics. The funeral lasts many hours, no one wants to get up. All of them don't want to get up because they are lazy and don't actually care right? It's now been a month since your death. None of your family members have been in your room. The door remains shut. Your mum goes up to your dad and whispers "its time". Your dad looks at her with hos lifeless eyes and nods. He rises slowly from the kitchen table. They enter your room slowly. Just stepping inside of it gives your mother the chills. Your father holds your mum as she begins to tear. He's trying to be strong, but he can't, soon the tears swell up in his eyes aswell. They pick up your clothes, dust your shelves and make your bed. The stain on your carpet has blood on it so they out a rug over it. Neither of them go near it. They clean your room in silence. They don't care that your gone, they just didn't want a messy room, right?

Don't do it please. Eveyone would miss you. Your smile, your laugh, the way your eyes light up when your happy. Do you really want to take that away from eveyone and yourself? Never get to smile again, or see that person that makes your heart skip a beat, never get to live. Don't do that to yourself. You have so much to live for. If you havent already, do you really want to miss the opportunity of meeting your true friends. Have your first kiss? Fall in love head over heels? Get your heart broken? Go to college? Get a A on that exam you studied days on end for? Get married? Have your own children? What would you do if ýou walked into your 14yr old daughters room and saw her lying there in a pool of blood with no heartbeat? It would be no big deal right? You would shrug and clean up the blood with a smile on your face, humming her favourite song. No. You would cry and clutch her lifeless body in your arms and cry. Cry and cry and cry and cry. You would think it's all your fault and a million thoughts would go through your head. Why would she do this? Is it my fault? Why didn't she tell me she was depressed? Why didn't I stop her? How could I have not known?

Think twice. Take a deep breath. Your worth more then this. Nobody should ever have to take their life.Anything your going through is temporary. The feeling won't last forever. You'll get through this. No matter how long it takes, you need to know that you'll get through this and you dont need to face this alone. Speak to someone. Anyone. So please. Do not EVER write that suicide letter or ever even think about suicide. Life is full of ups and downs for a reason. It makes us stronger, shows us what we can get though. It builds and shapes us for the next generation of parents, grandparents even. You might not see the light at the end of the tunnel but I promise you it's there. You just have to keep walking towards it.