Pandemic 101

Pandemic 101 is all about giving yourself the permission to pause and the permission to start over - this is my fresh start - it’s also about knowing and accepting the fact that its okay to not be okay — I repeat, it’s okay to not be okay!

How many you times have you honestly said or thought to yourself, I wish I knew then what I know now or, If only I had done things differently ... Well, I had never had to navigate my way through a pandemic before — the first wave was very much a learning curve for me and now with the 2nd wave upon us - I know now what I wish I had known then and I now know what to do differently and just how to do it! For starters I was carrying around a rather sad looking and empty spiritual toolbox. I tossed out my bag of negative “what if’s” and replaced them with positive ones and reset my mindset. I added an arsenal of tools to my toolbox and began to work on myself again.

I knew what I couldn’t do but I began to recognize and focus on what I can do.

I can be honest and share my thoughts and feelings. I can put myself out there in a way that most other people don’t. I can stop pretending that everything is okay because it wasn’t okay and be okay with everything not being okay because it’s okay to NOT be okay. I took the lid off of my emotional pot that was boiling over and released some steam!

I needed to remember who I was, queue in Disney’s the Lion King! ... Me, Julia, the believer in love and that all things are possible and that each moment is a chance to start over —- I needed to remember that it’s okay to give yourself permission to take a pause and start over — I repeat, it’s ok to pause and start over. I struggled with this royally when the pandemic first started. I was frozen and fraught with overwhelming anxiety. Paralyzed by thoughts of what could happen if I were to catch the coronavirus due to my pre existing health conditions. I was living in fear and I let it stop me. I felt stuck and lost in the wrong direction. I couldn’t see past the current chaos. I was trying to keep my head above water but everywhere I looked for motivation and inspiration I felt slammed with how this was the time to be productive and get busy. Start that new business, learn a new language, take a cooking class ... Just fucking do something, just fucking do anything. I felt very much alone because I couldn’t find what I needed or was looking for at that time — I was a deflated ballon and admittedly I sank like a broken ship. Truthfully I didn’t just float gracefully down to the ground, I crashed hard and I was incredibly embarrassed about it.

I had already found my calling and started my side gig ... I’m a certified master life coach ... I’m here to help .... But ... how can I help when I can’t even help myself?!

I seriously questioned myself and my abilities. I was so brutally hard on myself. Who did I think I was? Here I am out here trying to be a life coach when I can’t even coach myself to get out of bed in the morning — or the afternoon!

Having said that ... I’m back. This is my fresh start. Instead of letting myself sit there in glass full of failure juice I finally gave myself permission to start over and I forgave myself and let go of the guilt and negative feelings that I had surrounding my — what I like to call, failure to thrive and I picked my damn self up again. Now here I am because I kept going.

You don’t have to be busy during a pandemic — I repeat you don’t have to be busy during a pandemic. You don’t have to get busy or hustle hard, you don’t have to start that new business or learn a new language or take a cooking class. ... There is nothing wrong with just standing perfectly still. You need to learn how to stop playing the ‘shame’ game with yourself.

How do you stop playing the ‘shame’ game?

For starters, stop the comparison project ... Stop comparing yourself to others. period. We all have different struggles ... Some of us hide them better than others but we all have them in some way or another.

1. Focus on yourself and what you and you alone could be doing, not what Sally Joe did last night — or how many times she did it this morning!

2. Look for the lessons — for this you have to subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason. I wholeheartedly believe this. No matter how bad or good the situation - there is a deeper and greater meaning.

3. Give yourself the permission to take a pause and start over.

4. It’s ok to bend — what doesn’t bend breaks ... Just bend, go with it — go with the flow

5. Each moment is a chance to start over and we as human beings have the privilege and the ability to start fresh.

6. We all move at our own pace. Period. Some people are faster, some people are slower. Admittedly I’m ridiculously slow but nonetheless I move!

7. Focus on the positive! This one is easier said then done however positivity is the key! Find little ways to reprogram and retrain yourself. Turn a negative into a positive - again I will say to focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do.

8. It’s okay to talk about it ... we need to do more of this ‘thing’ called talking (and this thing called listening) and stop suffocating our feelings because we are afraid of what others will think or do or say.

9. Things are not always as they appear to be. Just because you see it on Facebook, doesn’t make it true!

10. Be grateful, gentle and kind - its not about being a badass everyday - its about learning how to be grateful, kind and gentle with yourself. Being the best that you can be and doing the best that you can do in each moment.

I just want you to know that you are not alone! You are not permanently stuck — even though it may feel that way now, nor are you less of a person or less of a helper — you are not less of anything. You have simply paused temporarily for spiritual maintenance.