Autonomy Is The Real Privilege

Good morning, freedom-seekers!

Today we’re gonna be looking at autonomy. A strange word, I know; one many would probably look at blankly and run away from on sight. We’re gonna figure out what it actually means, consider how it’s achieved, and decipher just how deeply most of us are tangled up in dependence without realising it.

And then, once all that fun stuff is out the way, we’re gonna step outside the idea that phones, cars, and convenience equal privilege, and instead ask a less pondered question. What does real privilege look like, if it’s not silver spoons, country clubs, and sports cars?

Because when most people hear “privilege” they immediately picture money, gadgets, and things with shiny badges on them. Either that or they attribute the word to some kind of ‘ism.’ To be born without any negating factors or built-in barriers to entry. (If you ask me, that latter mindset is in many ways perpetuating the issue, but that’s a discussion for another day). And besides, we’re talking autonomy anyway… privilege is just the mirror we’re gonna bounce some stuff off.

So privilege in a nutshell, to make sure we’re on the same page. More money, better living conditions, a naturally easier life. Perhaps being prettier, luckier, wealthier, or clever(er) than others? Sounds about right, right? So onto autonomy we go.

Now autonomy doesn’t look like all that shiny stuff. It can be a part of it, should you chose it as a direct outcome of your autonomous action, but it is not in and of itself the ‘having of things.’

In fact, it can look rather boring from the outside. While undeniably powerful, it's a stealthy thing by nature. Quiet and unspoken, almost undetectable by the casual bystander. And if you really think about it, it is by definition unconcerned with the views and opinions of others.

It’s choosing things because they serve you, not because they signal something to those who aren’t you. For me it’s chosing simple clothes because I don’t want to think about outfits. A van instead of a car because I need it to work from, and could go off to live in it if shit ever hit the fan. I have very little interest in impressing strangers at traffic lights, or choosing photogenic food over nourishing fuel.

What making space for autonomy in my life revealed to me is that the moment you stop trying to look like you’re winning to everybody else, you start actually winning for yourself.

And here’s the part nobody really ever talks about: autonomy creates options. And options are freedom.

If you keep your spending low and your needs simple, suddenly you don’t need to work quite as much. If you don’t chase the next best thing constantly, a few less hours at work turns into a workout or a long walk, or time spent with your kids. If I want to take a twelve mile hike on a random Tuesday afternoon I’ll damn well do it in spite of any other self-imposed restrictions.

That’s privilege.

I have very little money. I have been through shit, I’ve made mistakes. Hell, I even went to jail. But yes, I’m privileged. Because in my life I’ve cultivated the power of choice. It’s not a life many understand, but it is one entirely of my own design, and that, dear readers, is where I’m indisputably privileged.

But this life didn’t come out of nowhere and it certainly doesn't come without resistance. To have what I have I go without in many other ways. Time reading and writing is time I can’t spend making money. If I have nothing to eat I simply don’t eat at all, which is a frightening concept to somebody that hasn’t specifically strengthened themselves against discomfort or actively fasted for their health.

For somebody that hasn’t bathed in ice water or studied the resilience of the human condition, the idea of camping out or eating only beef and eggs for days on end can be rather daunting.

My autonomy is birthed out of my own personal knowledge and experience with such things. And yours would be too. Autonomy is a deeply unique, deeply personal phenomenon, and it looks wildly different in everybody’s lives.

Let’s say for example you weren’t burning money just to keep up with the Jones’s or to eat out at every opportunity, you’d be able to invest it. And if you can invest that surplus without fear, because you’re not dependent on it, you’re playing a completely different game to someone who needs every penny just to stay afloat. The irony is that the less you need money, the more power it gives you.

But I’m not here to tell anyone how to live. That’s the whole point. Autonomy means you decide. You could do this. You could do that. You could change direction entirely. The options open up the moment you step out of the funnel and stop moving with the herd. Get off the beaten track, so to speak.

And yes, of course, there will be sacrifices.

You may have to sacrifice novelty, time, wealth, or impulse, but then again sometimes it could mean being more impulsive or becoming more wealthy 🤷‍♂️ You might sacrifice the thrill of buying things you don’t actually need for now, so that in a few weeks time you can splash out on that lobster dinner without guilt or anxiety.

In return for these sacrifices, you are rewarded control. Time. Energy. Calm. Confidence. A life that feels like it belongs to you.

Personally, I love movement. Training. Walking. Lifting weights. I use up a lot of hours writing and reading and taking days out with my family. I like to set up stupid little challenges just to see if I can do them. I keep my wardrobe simple. I eat good food. Beyond that, I have very little interest in what money can buy, so I don’t sweat to acquire more than I need.

And it’s genuinely funny how strange that seems to some people. I’ve had looks that say, “You could be doing more,” or people that would attempt to consider me lazy or to ‘not have a care in the world’ as if that’s somehow something to be ashamed of.

When what they really mean is, “You could be consuming more. You could be controlled more. You could be more like us.”

And honestly, I’m not interested in that game. I’m interested in being me. Fully. Unapologetically. And that didn’t happen by accident. It took thought, effort, and a willingness to step back far enough to actually see the chains everyone else pretends aren’t there.

We don’t need to make sense to everybody. We don’t need others to see the value in what we do, so long as we recognise that value ourselves. We live in a society where our lives could truly be our own should we only step back and get to designing it.

Autonomy isn’t loud. It doesn’t announce itself or seek approval. It’s a quiet confidence of knowing your life works for you. Your days are shaped intentionally, your needs are met without excess, and your choices are yours.

That’s the real privilege.

And once you’ve tasted that level of freedom, it’s very hard to go back.

So here’s an invitation to you before you go scrolling on to the next thing (which should be the story I linked below, might I add 😏).

Take a look at your own life and ask yourself where you could reclaim a small piece of autonomy. Nothing particularly major or dramatic. Just one decision that puts the steering wheel back in your hands.

Maybe it’s waking up an hour earlier so you can write, or building yourself an area in the home where you can think without interruption. Maybe it’s an evening gym session, a long walk under the starlight, or taking up painting. Hell, maybe it’s choosing to listen to fewer voices and opinions.

Whatever it is, there’s room in everyone’s life to take back a little ownership of themselves. That’s the beauty of it. The choices are yours. They’re not always easy, and they’re rarely popular, but they are yours.

If you’re interested in more of this living deliberately stuff and pondering on how we can best improve our lives, you can follow me here or on Facebook. I share a mix of days out, small adventures, training, writing, and the occasional stray thought when it turns up unannounced. I pretty much share my life, as one being lived on purpose.

Now go claim a little ground back this week. It’s amazing how much power lives in the first step. And remember, freedom is always the destination!

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