Over coming past loves

It's been times that I wonder about life and what I'm supposed to be. I'm always writing down my feelings an I hope that doing this will make sense in a time of healing to erase the mind. But this is a way of finding peace to the past that I would like to erase from my memories. Why can't things be the way it was cause you can't. But for one, whom I had a bond with. To I know that he doesn't want me anymore. It would take all of my being to find a way of letting him go. An the love in my heart burns only for him alone. Never seeing him grows dim each and passing day to see his handsome face and a smile an it would light up my soul and it will give me the energy to move on in life. But many days has passed since this was written but I could be better. That's not always true, I feel like that I'm surrounded by misery. An never been able to hold onto any relationship cause they never last long until I find a way of messing it up. Cause I'm sure of what I'm doing is wrong. An sit and think of what I can do to improve my life, I once thought that I wasn't no good of a woman or person to have happiness or love. Cause of the last relationships I been in it's was the worst feeling I had cause I couldn't hold onto any of them. Had a rocky marriage, bad breakup and the other I felt like I wasn't worth being with. Why can't I figure out what's going on in my life cause I seem to mess up every single one of my past relationships up. Should I give up and never dream of being a woman in love. Too, life is like the rain never knowing what's coming down. But things coming and going an not seeing what's been washed away. Not everything can be water down the pain and the hurt that a person goes through. Not knowing where the healing is going to start until you find that peace within your heart. Just take time to see life can take you. Always find a reason to share what you have in anything that you do. To see if all the feelings in the world needs to be felt so that everyone knows that their not alone. Cause people probably couldn't relate with everyone else feelings. But if we could listen to what is going on then we can heal. To hear what's going on in people's life then we can help them heal. Everyone has a story to share but it comes in different forms but we make time to see how things are going to be. People can't let go of the things that don't mean much and let go of the past. Feeling this way comes in life, that we can't always fight but must go along with it. From day to day we can accept this or run from it. But we make the best of it, days turn into weeks then into months then years. But we can't wait that long to be with anyone so we must be patient and wait to see what comes next. We have done things in our lives that we can't take back. So we try to learn from them, it always brings us back to where we started from. So what can we do but fight our way out of this and go forth from here. So how come life is misunderstood but we walk thru life with blinders on but we over come all of things that is thrown at us. But we will overcome everything that's in front of us.