writing...Why I'm,I faIling for the same things in life. Seems like everything I truly work for goes downhill the next day, but for me it's like a roller coaster that goes up and down. I need to find that stopping point an change this cycle and find true happiness. But that bad seed always finds it's way back and the darkness comes next. But then I find a special ray of light of sunshine beneath all the blackness that surrounds me and this special light starts to take away all of this and shows me there is more things in this world then darkness that I was in. But I feel that I lost that light cause the darkness over took me once more can I finally break free the darkness and to be free to find that light again. To be free from the darkness is hard cause it's always lurking around every corner never knowing when it's coming. So each day waiting for the light that had made its presents known has dropped out of sight not being able to do this seems so dim. So how can things be if people can't let things be cause it's up to the one to find that light again. Cause it's one who has had spent a lifetime filled with darkness and the bad seed has made this person feel like a puppet in the life that was shared between them. Never feeling that one couldn't do anything right. But when the day came there was a glimpse of hope and one left and hope that the cycle could be broken. But that's not always true cause the darkness seems to find a way of coming back, so does the bad seed. For one who is trying to find love and live but it never last since the bad seed has planted a virus in the one wants freedom from the darkness. How come it takes a lot to deal with things fighting to live a life sharing, caring being who I am. To be free and tell this darkness you have no place in my heart. Cause the things in the life of the one wants life to be worth living for without barriers. But barriers can be broken if the one is ready to take that stand and walk with one foot in front of the other and walk right out the door and never look back. An to find their own light and never regret that decision the one has made. But since this person has seen that the only light is the one who has left behind the past of all things that made a prison of confinement within one selves.
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Over coming past loves
It's been times that I wonder about life and what I'm supposed to be. I'm always writing down my feelings an I hope that doing this will make sense in a time of healing to erase the mind. But this is a way of finding peace to the past that I would like to erase from my memories. Why can't things be the way it was cause you can't. But for one, whom I had a bond with. To I know that he doesn't want me anymore. It would take all of my being to find a way of letting him go. An the love in my heart burns only for him alone. Never seeing him grows dim each and passing day to see his handsome face and a smile an it would light up my soul and it will give me the energy to move on in life. But many days has passed since this was written but I could be better. That's not always true, I feel like that I'm surrounded by misery. An never been able to hold onto any relationship cause they never last long until I find a way of messing it up. Cause I'm sure of what I'm doing is wrong. An sit and think of what I can do to improve my life, I once thought that I wasn't no good of a woman or person to have happiness or love. Cause of the last relationships I been in it's was the worst feeling I had cause I couldn't hold onto any of them. Had a rocky marriage, bad breakup and the other I felt like I wasn't worth being with. Why can't I figure out what's going on in my life cause I seem to mess up every single one of my past relationships up. Should I give up and never dream of being a woman in love. Too, life is like the rain never knowing what's coming down. But things coming and going an not seeing what's been washed away. Not everything can be water down the pain and the hurt that a person goes through. Not knowing where the healing is going to start until you find that peace within your heart. Just take time to see life can take you. Always find a reason to share what you have in anything that you do. To see if all the feelings in the world needs to be felt so that everyone knows that their not alone. Cause people probably couldn't relate with everyone else feelings. But if we could listen to what is going on then we can heal. To hear what's going on in people's life then we can help them heal. Everyone has a story to share but it comes in different forms but we make time to see how things are going to be. People can't let go of the things that don't mean much and let go of the past. Feeling this way comes in life, that we can't always fight but must go along with it. From day to day we can accept this or run from it. But we make the best of it, days turn into weeks then into months then years. But we can't wait that long to be with anyone so we must be patient and wait to see what comes next. We have done things in our lives that we can't take back. So we try to learn from them, it always brings us back to where we started from. So what can we do but fight our way out of this and go forth from here. So how come life is misunderstood but we walk thru life with blinders on but we over come all of things that is thrown at us. But we will overcome everything that's in front of us.
By Peggy Rabal3 years ago in Motivation
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