Mr. Rogers Therapy

The photo caption is dialog from the show Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood and it reads:

Lady Aberlin: "I've got some very special news for you."

Daniel Tiger: "There's peace in reality?"

Lady Aberlin: "No"

I wanted to share something I do that I call "Mr. Rogers Therapy." I watch the television show Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood at least once a week and take careful note of what I learn. Fred Rogers' entire body of work in this seemingly simple children's show was his legacy of teaching Emotional Regulation to children, but it can also be easily applied to adults with emotional problems such as: Depression, Anxiety, Anger, Lack of Self-Worth, etc...

He teaches allowing, facing fears and problem solving very simply and from a safe place. Difficult subjects like Death, Divorce, Arguments with Friends, Acceptance, Failure, Living and Speaking Truth....all kinds of real-life things that are tough to handle, he discusses and explores openly in an approachable way. There is no wasted space on the show. Everything has purpose down to the routine of role changing with the change of sweaters and shoes.

For example, in speaking about death, on one show, his fish died and he buried it in the backyard. A fish is pretty safe. Few people are traumatized by loss of a fish although we can be. Then he reflected on a dog he had when he was a boy. As he was burying the fish, he talked about how very sad he was when his dog died and what he did to deal with it along with pleasant memories and how much he loved her. Then he got a friend to help him create a little marker for the fish's grave. Never once did he say that you "should not feel" sad or that it was wrong.

He sings songs like "What Do You Do with the Mad That You Feel?" He never says "Don't be Angry." Anger happens. What do you do with it? A lot of problem in being able to control Emotional State is simply in denial or this false idea that we can just stop it "if we really wanted to" or something outside will fix it. One day maybe life will go our way and we will feel good.

- You feel anxious? - STOP IT.

- Well, how do you do that?

It is not by pretending it doesn't exist. That is "stuffing it" and it makes it much worse. Emotions, by the time we feel them, are already too late. They are a reaction. As a matter of survival, the brain has already released chemicals and hormones in our head that are telling the body "DANGER. Do something!" or "DANGER! Don't move!" and sometimes both. No wonder we are so mixed up. It is impossible to "DON'T" what has already happened without a time machine to go back and change the events leading up to current experience. That simple idea is so powerful.

Emotional states are ABSOLUTELY Learned Practice. "Reality" had trained me to be really good at being Anxious, Depressed, Self-Loathing, Un-Worthy. I was so good at it, I started showing physical signs of PTSD. I felt that, then the world reflected that back to me over and over again as the world does. It is a mirror. It was only in practicing what I want to be in Make-Believe - or meditation, for "grown-ups" - that I was able to start shifting the things I experienced "out there" in the Real World.

We may not have control over what our experience has learned is dangerous, but what we DO have control over is FEELING and what we practice routinely. What we CHOOSE to feel, to consciously practice. I practiced feeling safe. I practiced feeling Strong. I practiced Confidence. I did this while I was NOT in distress. I literally MADE myself BELIEVE that I am strong, safe and stable by practicing over and over. First in the mind, then in actions and routine. The Land of Make-Believe is the most powerful place to change your reality. It is the practice field, not the actual game.

Think about that phrase carefully.

MAKE - You Create

BELIEF - A set of reoccurring thoughts accepted as Fact

Even Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." I used to think all that "just believe" stuff was all a load of airy-fairy nonsense, but in reality... don't we rehearse a speech before we give it? Practice a play or dance before we perform it? Then we can do it with confidence because you rehearsed it so many times it becomes reflex.

Behavior, emotion and focus are no different. Reality is ALWAYS going to be upset, or rather CHALLENGES. That is its job to evolve us with challenges. It's not sitting there wishing you had a million dollars and unicorns exist. It is PRACTICING how you want to react to situations. PRACTICE in Make-Believe how you WANT to be and you get better at it in reality.

The brain tries to do this in imaginary conversations and interactions, but it is often tainted by repetitive training in un-supportive belief programming. Concentrate on the feeling rather than how to "act." Acting is a character. Characters have a back-story that explains how and why they act. If we want to change how we act, how our character acts, we make believe the feeling first. The right words or actions will follow and as with everything - it takes practice. One positive affirmation will not defeat years of back-story and being told by multiple sources how bad we are and the World is. We must practice what we want MORE than what we have learned we do NOT want.

"You've made this day a special day, by just you being you. There's no person in the whole world like you; and I like you just the way you are." - Fred Rogers, closing of every episode of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

Namaste Y'all 💜🙏😉

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