Leap of Faith

Transparency has never been my strong suite. But in honor of domestic violence awareness month, like survivors and the women who never made it out to share their stories. I would like to share mine.

October 15th, 2015 I walked away from my home with 5 kids and the clothes on my back. In fact the clothes I had on are in this picture. This picture was taken by my co workers as a joke for dozing on the job. But the bruises all over my arms and the exhaustion told a different story. The night previous was spent fighting. All night. Our relationship had always been turbulent. From being brutally beaten when pregnant, to sexual assault and vicious emotional abuse the trauma that occurred in that 8 year relationship ran the gamut. After he killed my pet I knew it wouldn't be long until it was me. He had begun doing hard drugs (unbeknownst to me at the time) and was more and more unstable by the day. I had him arrested for assault the week prior to me leaving. I was in a meeting when I received a text that he had been released and was going to my house. He beat me there. The last glimpse I had of him was through the burglar bars of the front door. He held a letter in his hand, extended through the bars to me. I remember just staring at him...and remembering I had my purse in the car. I knew deep down if I didnt leave then there may not be another chance to. It took 3 weeks to plan my exit. Nothing went as planned except me and my children escaping with our lives. I learned through this experience an entire new attitude of gratitude.

When I initially drove away, I had no clue where we would go. I had been calling for almost a month and no shelter open could accommodate my family size with so many small children. I park my truck and cry hysterically. I prayed out loud and said "God, you said my life is over here (in Houston) if that is so I need somewhere we can go right now" I called one more time and was crying so heavily the operator could barely make out what I was saying. Such a kind lady, she said "I'm not letting you off this line until we find a safe place for you." She stayed on the line for at least an hour. She asked "Are you willing to go to Beaumont?" Although I had never been I was already keying in the GPS.

Finally a facility that could take in my family size had openings. At the time my children's ages were 5, 2 and three 1 yr olds. I picked my children up from daycare and the rest is history.

Its a statistical fact that a woman will have 7 to 10 attempts to leave her abuser before she leaves for good. This was number 8 for me.

If it were not for Monica Williams with Candace Way Out Foundation, I wouldn't be here. She encountered me on attempt number 7 and was a support through it all. Even sending me money for emergencies. The biggest gift she gave was sharing her daughter's story. It was her story that jolted me into action.

After 3 months in a women's shelter, God blessed me with a home. Everything I lost God replaced tenfold.

In all my years the most forward moving parts in my life began 5 years ago.

I pray I can give someone the strength to face uncertainty while holding on to the promise of a better future.

Things will get better.

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Never forget it.