What I Thought Adulthood Would Feel Like vs. What It Actually Feels Like

So what can I say about being a grown-up? Is it all I thought it would be? Well… no. Don’t get me wrong — it has its perks, for sure. It’s just not how I imagined it would feel. Or look.

I don’t know why I thought I’d carry a briefcase and walk into my office every morning, sit behind my desk, put on my glasses, and hurl orders at everyone like some kind of Clark Kent CEO hybrid. When I was younger, I thought having an office job was the goal. I had no idea what company, no idea what position — just office. Desk. Papers. Purpose. That was adulthood.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that idea was less about ambition and more about stability. It was about wanting proof that I was doing okay. That I had made it. That I was safe. Adulthood, I thought, was a destination. A finish line. A moment where everything suddenly made sense.

Turns out, it’s mostly figuring things out as you go. Which, now that I think about it, is pretty much life in general, isn’t it?

Adulthood and life are basically the same thing. You never stop learning how to be a grown-up. That’s the truth. As long as society changes — and it always will — there are adjustments to make, lessons to learn, and new ways of seeing the world. That’s what keeps it moving. That’s what keeps us moving.

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I thought adulthood would feel like certainty.

It actually feels like Googling things I should probably already know.

I thought adulthood would feel like freedom.

It actually feels like choosing between groceries and peace of mind.

I thought adulthood would feel like confidence.

It actually feels like selective confidence, with occasional emotional buffering.

I thought adulthood would feel like control.

It actually feels like carefully managed chaos.

I thought adulthood would feel like having it together.

It actually feels like holding it together. There’s a difference.

I thought adulthood would feel like stability.

It actually feels like constant adjustment.

I thought adulthood would feel like maturity.

It actually feels like emotional awareness mixed with moments of absolute nonsense.

I thought adulthood would feel like arrival.

It actually feels like transit.

Some days still feel uncertain. Some days feel heavy. And some days feel surprisingly light. But what I’m learning is that adulthood isn’t about eliminating confusion — it’s about learning how to move through it without losing yourself. It’s about patience. Grace. Forgiveness. Especially with yourself.

And yet — somewhere in all of that figuring it out, I think little me would still be proud. Not because I have everything I want, but because I didn’t stop becoming. Being an adult means realizing you may never fully have it all. And also realizing that you’ll still be okay.

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Sometimes I think about what adulthood will look like in the future — not just next year, but ten or twenty years from now. I wonder how my definition of success will change. What I’ll care about more. What I’ll finally stop caring about. I imagine a version of myself that’s calmer, softer, maybe a little wiser. Someone who’s learned how to trust his instincts, how to rest without guilt, how to choose peace over pressure. I don’t know exactly who I’ll become, but I hope I grow into someone who’s gentle with himself. Someone who understands that growth doesn’t always look like progress on paper. Sometimes it just looks like survival. Sometimes it looks like healing. Sometimes it looks like staying open in a world that keeps trying to harden you.

So if adulthood is mostly guessing, adjusting, and trying again, I guess I’m doing it right. I’m learning how to hold responsibility without losing wonder. How to be grounded without becoming rigid. How to take life seriously without taking myself too seriously. And honestly? That feels like a pretty solid way to grow.