Is anxiety holding you back ?

I had been trying to blog for weeks. In my previous blog (some weeks before) I had written about being ready. I was on the edge and more that ready to move on and be the success that life intended for me to be. I ask you what is it then ,that after such fire about getting out there and doing "what I need to do" ,that makes me sit and not move forward. Was it that I just cooled off? Was I just having a moment and got over it all just as quickly as I was set into motion? I readily blamed it on sheer procrastination. Instead of actually doing the work of moving forward with my blogging, or writing my sermon, or doing homework;I would sit and sit and think and think ,but not DO anything productive.I came up with strategies,wrote out plans,talked about it and even began many of my projects but never finishing anything. This sounded to me like the classic symptoms of procrastination or just laziness even.

At first I agreed with this self assessment. Yes I was just being lazy but wondered why my heart beat so fast at the thought of completing anything. That is not a symptom of being lazy. I would become nauseated at the thought of completing anything. All of a sudden I wasn't able to concentrate and my head felt like it was spinning.My body was reacting in a way that expressed anxiety, more than classic procrastination or laziness . As I mentioned earlier my heart beat quickened, also I became confused easily and was overcome by a huge feeling of dread.

It was definitely fear and anxiety that was holding me back. I was holding me back. This is the truth. Why would I choose to hold myself back? I believe that I was afraid of the attention that may come with failure or even success. It became a no win situation. I thought to myself that "People will be looking at me and expecting more and better". I had to be willing to make mistakes in front of others,that had the freedom of commenting on my mistakes: publicly. This thought pattern really had a hold on me. I was not content with this being my status quo. I had to do something to bring about change or things would always stay the same. I wanted more for my life,I came to an understanding that I had to at least try a different way.

Thinking through all of this at the time brought me to a few conclusions.

• I decided I needed to create affirmations about this ,because the more I sat and worried;the deeper the pit that I dug for myself became.
• I would get better as I went along. Sitting and not doing anything but worrying about what might happen was surely not going to work.
• I was to be a vessel for creativity to use and travel through. I was making this about myself and overly difficult. I was to relax and allow what was sent to me to just travel through me and not over think it all.There was really no reason for me to be afraid.
• I had to decide that quitting was not an option. I was to do a little at a time which would slowly get me to the finish line.

All of this is where I was about 7 years ago. I have since self published 3 books,written many sermons and spoken just about every Sunday for the last 7 years. I have 2 podcasts, a website and give sessions as a life coach. My advice to you works. I am living proof. Allow all that is good to work through you and focus on the positive and the plan for your life and things will get better. They may not be perfect but it will get better.If you find yourself in this anxious state of mind, please learn from my mistakes. Do not allow fear to hold you back from accomplishing all the greatness that is out there for you to accomplish. You are more than equipped for success.

Live fearlessly and be great!