Invest in Yourself

There’s nothing like creating a resolution at the beginning of the year and then, realizing at the end of the year, that the resolutions previously created, haven’t been conquered. Disappointment seeps and seethes this deepening dark abyss of failure that the resolution had not been followed through. Hence, these resolutions are being rebranded as goals.

Goals provide a sense of positivity and the name itself, garners a sense that it doesn’t need to be achieved within a definite amount of time. ‘I want to retire at 50.’ That type of goal isn’t something that can be completed overnight nor within a year. That’s why short term and long-term goals exist. It makes the feasibility of each attainable and provides a step by step objective that needs to be met before the next step can be completed.

Long Term

Goal #1: Self-Improvement

Everyone has their own flaws and quirks but, what’s difficult, is blatantly identifying them and molding them to be advantageous and less of a detriment. No one likes to have their flaws pointed out as it makes them vulnerable. It’s like a crutch, a permanently wounded animal that’s helpless in the eyes of a predator.

I feel that I take certain things for granted and don’t appreciate them, which makes me feel that I’m not being humble enough. I’ve created beautiful crocheted pieces and when being praised for their beauty, I shrug it off as if anyone can crochet or make that same piece with that same quality. Or, achieving a huge milestone in my career and feeling like the achievement was empty and unfulfilling. There’s nothing like down playing your own natural talent which is a blow to your self-confidence and self-esteem. Learning to be humbler of my own innate natural talent is one step to my overall self-improvement.

Being tormented by my own thoughts as well as other peoples’ thoughts, has been my worst nightmare. It’s taken several years to learn to start loving my self-image because I haven’t truly learned to love all aspects of myself. Physically, I’ve struggled with my weight. It’s as easy as going to the gym, right? Wrong! Most years, my resolution was to lose weight but, it wasn’t the weight that was “weighing” me down. It was those I surrounded myself with and the perception I had of my current lifestyle, that was stopping me from wanting to lose that weight. By changing my mindset of what is a healthy lifestyle and developing and altering my support system, going to the gym and changing my lifestyle has been a breeze and I’m hoping to maintain and improve on it is the second step to my overall self-improvement.

Life does present itself with lots of challenges and it does impact mental health. I’ve been silent about my own mental health for a long time and it’s been detrimental. I’ve become more outspoken about it and more so within the last year. Burn out is a real thing and in combination with all the stress, it’s unhealthy to remain silent with that internal battle being waged within you alone. I’ve been reaching out more despite being that kind of quiet person who sat alone at a table, enjoying her own space and keeping herself busy. It’s been a learning curve knowing who is a part of my support system and I’ve been progressively improving my mental health by creating a self-care routine. A time for myself to think of only myself which makes this my final overall self-improvement step for this year.

Goal #2: Create that!

I’ve always been interested in anything creative ie: writing, painting, drawing, crafting, etc. Sort of a jack of all trades and master of none. As a source of motivation for a friend of mine, we had decided to do weekly write nights where we would go to a local café and work on our respective creative writing projects. That’s how my current rough draft came to fruition. I’ve set a goal to write on the rough draft monthly and improve my writing by reading more.

I have lots of crafting supplies in my home ranging from yarn, glass, paints, canvases, frames, etc. My goal is to down size my supplies to make decorations for my newly repainted walls. Once I purchase a few tools, I’d like to create shelves to perch my plants and use the whole wall as a mural of plants and, build furniture to make a reading nook.

Short-Term

Goal #3: My Own Space

I purchased a house in 2015. Since purchasing my house, I haven’t felt like it was MY home. A place that feels warm, alive and welcoming. In October 2020, I started repainting my living-room and dining-room. Just this act alone, opened a whole can of worms and lead me down a rabbit hole of ideas to renovate and redecorate my house to make it the home it was destined to be. My house has a lot of potential and my leading aspiration is to have my own personal space that’s part office and part library. Currently, I’m repainting my walls to hide their present hideous shades before moving onto replacing fixtures and floors, which is a goal to complete this year. During my progress, I’ll accumulate ideas for the remaining spaces in my home.

Goal #4: Getting that Green Thumb!

I’ve owned plants in the past and they have died. I have either forgotten about them or, not asking anyone to take care of them while I’m away. Last year, I tried growing tomatoes, potatoes, strawberries, zucchini and various spices. Through trial and error, the tomatoes, potatoes, strawberries and spices were very fruitful. However, the zucchini was not and only half a rotted zucchini had grown last summer. My spices did not survive winterizing but, it wasn’t due to the temperature, it was due to the fact I had forgotten to repot them since they had outgrown their current pots essentially suffocating themselves. I’m slowly buying plants, mostly succulents for now, to bring life to my home. I’ve never sprouted seeds nor propagated a plant. My goal is to attempt both as well as have a garden this summer.

All the goals I’ve created above are not only encompassed around my well-being but, include the skills that I want to improve with devotion and time that those skills deserve. The overall theme I have for my goals is creating the greatest return by investing in myself.