Five—One Grounding
For the Sensational II Challenge
Five—Locked in a perpetual battle against my failing senses and reason, I fight to survive, to get through; I am afraid of... nothingandeverythingallatonce—...—my mouth is dry, and my muscles seize up... what can I see? I can see the birdcage and birds; I can see the watercolour my beautiful wife painted many years ago and unlocked her journey into art; I can see the empty mug of tea as it sits perilously on the arm of the sofa; how many is that now? Three down, two to go; I can also see a jackdaw on the roof of our neighbour's house across the road and a bookcase of potential—Five things you can see.
Four—As the battle rages against my temporary loss of all sense of reason—...—rational, vision still dances in and out of focus, and my heart might rupture as the fear continues to grip me, I now think about things I can touch. I can touch my trusty notepad filled with stories untold and poems unrealised; I can touch the comforting and warming sweater that soothes me; I can touch Alexa and ask her for random facts about nitro-glycerine and touch my toes— Four things you can touch.
Three—I am winning the battle; I can feel the subsidence of my palpal—...—pal—palpitations and breathing as I think about what I can hear. A car just pulled out of our street with a bit of a screech and a beep at what I suspect is another car failing to give way; I can hear my poodle Mick barking his head off because he probably heard a twig fall in the garden outside and I can hear the washing machine play out its tune to signify the cycle has finished—Three things you can hear.
Two—I feel the weight—...—the burden, the impending doom lessen in its grasp, its hold of me, as I remember the next step. What can I smell? Well, as I've missed a few showers recently, unfortunately, I can smell the deep and claggy scent of a body unwashed, and at the mere thought of it, I feel it enter my nostrils and fill my lungs. I can also smell the faint scent of bleach on the gentle breeze that blows through the house of a cleaner bathroom—Two things you can smell.
One—As my body and mind calm and I feel the mounting pressure—...—untampered insanity diminishes and releases me from its grasp, I can taste only the remnants of a custard-filled, sugar-dusted donut and sadness. The world does not feel as implosive as it did a few moments ago; my life does not feel like it's on a razor's edge as I sit and breathe deeply and close my eyes for some semblance of peace—One thing you can taste.
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Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: I have only had one panic attack that was a panic attack in my life, though I live on almost a knife's edge of anxiety brimming beneath the surface. I have never used the grounding technique, but I know how helpful it is. So, I thought this was a good and useful approach to the challenge.
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About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Comments (19)
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Back to say congratulations on a much deserved honorable mention on this week's leaderboard for Most Discussed Stories!
I read part of this, then I had to head out, while I was out; this piece popped into my mind. This was so freaking beautiful Paul, did you know that? I am a little vulnerable at the moment (I don’t know why, maybe I do but don’t want to confront) but this almost had the tears coming up. I don’t know what to do with myself now that I’ve read all of it, because it felt like a hug, even though it was about how vulnerable you were too and how hard things have been for you, this piece was there for me too so thank you for being so brave to post this. Please don’t be embarrassed about anything you’ve written here (if you were), all of it was perfect.
Yay Paul!!!!!! Love that you got honourable mention for this piece!!! Still one of my favourites for this challenge!!
Wow. Your poem literally embodied all the anxiousness, fear, and other sensations evoked by a panic attack. I nearly felt as if I needed a Xanax after reading it, so I think it relayed the exact sensational effect you wanted it to have.
Aha I see the link now- that's quite a clever countdown in the poem Paul, and I have heard of the grounding technique, though been fortunate enough not to need it as of yet. "claggy scent of a body unwashed"- love the word claggy. I like how in the moment this feels- almost stream of consciousness/unfiltered, ironically.
Sorry to hear you have anxiety as well. It’s an evil insidious monster inside. I still get the panic attacks of varying degrees. Sometimes I will go stretches without but it depends. Some meds help, some make it worse as they are addictive. I use to do something similar like ⬆️ above at times, so I liked that you referenced this below. I enjoyed your little mindful musings Paul - this was a great idea for the challenge!
Gosh Paul... I have so many thoughts on this!! First I love it because I've also heard of this technique but never used it (mostly just don't remember to use it when I should). But also I loved the feel of going through the exercise itself with you. I felt like I could close my eyes and be there with you as we brought ourselves out of a spiral (which ironically I was needing at this moment). This was just... everything I needed right now! Thank you for this Paul!! Also, another great anxiety technique is to put your bare feet on cold cement/ stone.... pulls you right out of the spiral. I've only done it once though.
I did the 54321 the first time this challenge came around! Nicely done, I could feel this working.
This grounding technique was such a brilliant approach to this challenge! My therapist has told me to use it whenever I have panic attacks and I've had many of them. But I've never used it because whenever I have a panic attack, my brain just doesn't seem to work properly enough to remember to use this technique 😅 I loved your piece so much Sir Paul 🍩🥐
When you are on point, Paul, your poetry is simply electric! I did not realize what you were doing with the poem in the beginning. At first, I thought it was a heart attack but then by the fourth stanza it finally clicked. This poem is blindingly original. Your ceaseless experimentation really paid off with this one. I will genuinely be disappointed for you if this does not place in the challenge.
Wow! Well done, Paul! I’ve used this technique with students before. You captured the inner monologue in such a compelling way
Oh wow, this felt REAL
Yes! Love this technique! When the world feels small and pinpoint on whatever is causing the major anxiety, it helps pull back to what's actually happening. Very well written! Almost spiked my anxiety, it was so descriptive.
That was incredible, my friend. So visceral. I felt as if I was going through it myself. Well done.
I could feel the anxiety at some points. This is quite descriptive.
This is an amazing and visceral piece, pal! You dropped me straight into that nerve fraying panic, and the relief of its washing away. Fantastic entry to the challenge! ✨👏🏽✨
Tying this challenge to grounding was genius. I'm not prone to panic attacks, either, but I watched an ER nurse help someone in my family with it.
You conveened the feeling of panick so well. I personally liked 'Three' that felt real.