I Had F.A.I.T.H...

I Had F.A.I.T.H.

Let me talk to you for a moment… because if you’ve ever stood in the middle of life falling apart while trying to hold everything together, you’ll feel this.

After everything I had been through, I held on to one thing: the belief that my children and I would make it. We were going to be okay.

Why? Because I had F.A.I.T.H. Foundation, Accuracy, Intergrity, Truth, and Hope, not just spiritually, but intentionally… this acronym shapes my Life and Business.

I had a Foundation. A plan. A strategy. Something solid enough to stand on. I truly believed I couldn’t fail.

I had Accuracy. I researched. I prayed. I aligned myself spiritually and naturally. Everything looked like it was in order.

I had Integrity. I moved with honesty and kindness, no shortcuts, no schemes, no manipulating the process. I refused to be anything other than genuine.

I had Truth. I reminded myself that without being F.A.I.T.H.ful, everything would collapse anyway. So I chose to “Go with God, His plans are greater than Ours.” my own words.

And I had Hope. A hope that steadied me. A hope that made me say, “Alright, y’all… I’m good. I got this.”

I had F.A.I.T.H. So tell me… what could possibly go wrong?

Everything!!!

Now, Let me be honest with you…

There came a season where I was torn in ways I didn’t even know how to explain. When I stopped showing up for you, it wasn’t because I didn’t care, it was because I had already stopped showing up for myself.

I kept pushing… not because I felt strong, but because I convinced myself that my feelings didn’t matter. I didn’t want to weigh anyone down. I didn’t want anyone around me to feel the despair that was quietly flooding my spirit. So I carried it alone. And in carrying it alone, I broke silently.

It was in that weakness, in that heaviness, that I realized something painful: I couldn’t keep going like this.

Here I was, encouraging others, giving hope, sharing what God can do… yet inside, I felt like a vessel running on fumes. Not a false prophet, but a woman who was tired of pouring while feeling empty. I never lost faith in God, but I did lose faith in the idea that I could keep moving the way I was moving. There’s a difference. And I’ll tell you the truth…

I had stopped talking to God. Not because I didn’t love Him, but because I felt unworthy. I felt like He wouldn’t listen to someone who wasn’t fully listening to Him. I stopped reading the Word. I stopped studying. I stopped joining worship, even online. I pushed the church away. I pushed spiritual nourishment away. I stopped playing the very music that used to minister to my soul. Everything that once fed me… I had abandoned.

My life stood still, yet the world around me kept moving and I felt stuck under the weight of everything I refused to face. But even in that stillness… believe it or not… I had F.A.I.T.H. Not the loud, confident kind, but the kind that whispers, “If you didn’t give up, then something in you still believes.” And that little whisper kept nudging me to find my way back. My way out wasn’t in people. It wasn’t in pushing harder. It wasn’t in pretending.

My way out was in turning back to the only One who makes a way out of no way, my Heavenly Father. I was ashamed. I wondered, How dare I ask Him for favor after pulling away? How dare I come back broken, tired, uncertain?

But God —

God reminded me that healing cannot come from a place of hiding. He whispered that comfort and peace were not gifts I had lost… they were gifts I refused to receive. And to receive them, I had to return. Return to Him. Return to the truth. Return to the F.A.I.T.H. I teach and live by. He showed me that everything He has planned for me requires one simple posture:

A.C.T.

Agree with Him, even when I don’t understand.

Commit to His Word, even when my strength is fading.

Trust in His plans, even when mine fall apart.

So yes… I have F.A.I.T.H. (Foundation, Accuracy, Integrity, Truth, Hope)

But, I had to learn how to A.C.T. too.

And that’s how He started restoring me, piece by piece, moment by moment, grace upon grace.