I am amazing

You know what?

I am amazing.

I really am.

I have spent years and years feeling as though I just wasn't good enough. I felt as though I was too fat, too boring, too unfit, too unsociable, too weird, too this, that or the other.

And do you know I really am? I'm curvy - and I love it. After years and years of dieting and punishing my body I can finally honestly say that I absolutely love my figure. I'm weird because I'm creative - I'm an artist! I paint, I craft, I sing, I write music, I create! And that is something to be celebrated. Unsociable? Pfft! I'm picky about who I allow into my life - and rightfully so. And too boring? Well I'm definitely not boring at all.

I am amazing.

I'm a mother to two incredible children. They are well-looked after, loved, listened to and are both the sweetest little souls. And I made them that way. Me. I let them voice their opinions, I encourage them to apologise when they are wrong, I treat them as human beings that are worthy of my time and are not just small, insignificant people that should be seen and not heard.

I am amazing.

I raise my friends up. I empower them and support them. I listen to them when they have a hard day or are going through a tough time. And I do everything in my power to ensure that they are living the incredible life that they deserve. I help them (as they do for me) whenever I can and I call them out when they are being self destructive or sabotaging their own happiness. Because that's what a good friend does.

I am amazing.

I listen to my partner when he has a tough day. Or even just when he wants to talk about the things that have been weighing him down lately. I always have an ear for him, and a shoulder if he needs it. We talk to each other openly about things and never dismiss one anothers feelings. We don’t always agree on everything, but when we do have disagreements we keep them healthy. And he tells me all of the time how amazing I am. He tells me to be myself, always and forever. To go out there and be myself, regardless of what anyone thinks of that, and to go and achieve my goals and dreams.

I am amazing.

I spent so long putting myself down. I believed that I had to fit into a certain category to be worthy of… well, I don’t know. But I certainly didn’t fit. I wasn’t the right size and shape, I was too outspoken, I was most definitely too quirky and odd… I didn’t fit. And I wasn’t perfect. And so I put myself down and told myself “if only”.

If only I lost weight. If only I tried harder. If only I was more confident. If only I was satisfied by a “proper job”. If only I told my children to be quieter to avoid those stares when we’re acting daft. If only…

I could then be “acceptable”. But never perfect. Oh no. This ideal of perfection would always remain out of reach to a mere mortal such as myself.

And so why? Why was I spending so much time feeling as though I wasn’t good enough? Why was I punishing myself? Why was I allowing clouds of dark depression to take over my life every day? Why would anyone do that to themself?

And why do you?

Why do we do it? I am amazing. And so are you. Go and look in the mirror. And tell yourself “I am amazing”. Maybe you’re not the “perfect” shape. But you are a shape. And let me tell you that shape is hella hot. You have talents and attributes that you should go and flaunt! Stop putting yourself down. Right now. No more. What an absolute waste of an amazing being.

We are amazing.