Fragments

Broken pieces scatter the ground. Pieces mirroring the pain she feels. Reflections of past, present, future. Putting them back together feels like a never-ending spell of deja vu. Her journey begins with the same familiar steps. Almost like putting together the book of life in which we all try to live by. You know the kind that says "It's okay you get knocked down just get back up again" or how about the famous one "Things happen for a reason". She runs these thoughts through her mind. "Okay, let's take out the "I got this glue" for the millionth time. Trying to be hopeful she picks up the pieces carefully so that she doesn't get another cut, but it seems with every piece she picks up it cuts deeper. The kind that pierces the heart leaving a permanent pattern. Holding the jagged piece in her hand looking at it, tears spilling, blurring the painful memories, becoming numb and its the norm for her. The fragments of her life are put back together yet again. Dusting herself off she gets back up again.

Waking up to a brand new day, sun caressing her face. Smiling, hoping for the best that the new day will bring. Feeling grateful, positive, strong, but in the far corner of her mind, she knows it is short-lived. Brushing this feeling to the side remaining in a state of bliss even for a moment is where she wants to be. Rays of the sunshine beam through her bedroom window, motivating her to start her day. The Smell of coffee wakens her senses. Feeling upbeat, strength brings her power to overcome the weakness she was feeling. Morning coffee melts the uneasy feeling away. Tones of cinnamon pecan with a touch of nutmeg, open her senses, feeling of exhilaration take over. She always loved the simple things in life. Waking every morning full of gratitude. Even if her night was shattered into a million pieces. She loses sight of the calm, happy, feeling, but the smell of her cup of coffee brings back her present state of bliss, Breathing in the fresh air.

Gazing out into the cerulean water that feeling of uneasiness takes over. It always comes when what lies ahead is uncertain, lurking in the shadows invading her mind. The old pensive feeling sitting right into the pit of her core takes over. She despises what it does to her. Losing all sense of direction, her reality becomes warped taking her down the spiral she knows all too well. Not the fun kind at an amusement park, but the dizzy, sickening blacking out kind. Wishfully and desperately wanting to never travel down this shadow of time again, but as she knows the emptiness always pulls her in. For a sliver of a moment, she feels comforted, as the darkness wraps its heaviness around her. Feeling numb helps ease her way down spinning and twirling as she closes her eyes, it easy to travel that way, it makes getting to the bottom easier.

Standing up, putting her outer shell on to face the inevitable. She knows it's coming for her. The pieces of shattered glass, hitting her trying to penetrate her outer shell. Some pieces get through some don't. The ones that do go straight to the heart taking her breath away. The pieces that don't are left for her to put back together. As the final fragments of glass fall, one thing she does notice and it took her a second to realize. This journey she has been on has not set her back but took her forward. It has taken her to this point in time to where she finally realized, for each fragmented piece there is one less piece of the puzzle to put together. Strength prevails, as it always will.