For 2026 — If You Starve Your Friendship — It Will Wither And Die

“She isn’t answering her phone?” Vella snapped, slamming the receiver down. The rage in her body sends the phone off her desk onto the floor.

Gennia sighed heavily, then gently reached over and retrieved it, and reminded, “You starved those trees she planted for more than five years. Shouldn’t you check if it’s still alive first before attempting to reap its fruits?”

“I know her, she always lived a good life,” Vella recalls how good Shelia lived and how loved she was by almost everyone.

“But her blessings for living well are her own,” Gennia remembers the many times she helped them without asking anything in return.

“She doesn’t care. She is still good,” Vella said, grabbing the receiver and pressing redial. Ten rings later, she slams the phone down again. Gennia grabbed it before it fell again.

“Why don’t you use your cell phone and call her directly?” Gennia asked.

“She might not answer when she realizes it’s me,” shot from Vella’s conscience.

“Thought she was good and will help you?”

“After what happened the last time, she might grow up and change.”

Gennia burst out laughing, then suggested, “I will call her and will plead your case.”

Swaying her head while thinking, Vella relented, then gave her Shelia’s number.

Gennia dialed, putting her phone on speaker on the desk facing Vella.

Shelia answered after the third ring, “Gennia, tell her the tree died because she didn’t water it in five years.”’

Vella’s eyes popped, and Shelia continued, “Six years ago, I explained to her that friendship and relationships are trees or plants we must water. Trees and plants need water, attention, thought, consideration, sunlight, patience, understanding, love, and kindness are a few ingredients required to allow them to grow. If they are ignored or taken for granted, they wither and die. If someone else waters them for you, you can’t reap the fruits from it. You can’t drink or eat from what you didn’t plant or grow from life. The tree might be alive, but you can’t touch or benefit from its fruits. You can’t remember me only when you want something!” Shelia preached and then hung up.

Vella fumed, then Gennia teased, “She knows you more than you know yourself. How come?”

“How did she get your number?” Vella demands, in anger and disappointment.

“We are friends, and I water my part of the tree. I want kindness’s fruits, so I water my friendship trees. I don’t starve them as you do.”

Our life is a tree. Our actions, choices, and decisions contain the ingredients for growth. Depending on how we live, our relationships and friendships will benefit from the fruits it bears. — Annelise Lords

Everyone in my country and culture is known for both good and bad things. But ‘bad’ has a different meaning for many people. You can be bad for being too honest or too kind.

A close family member I helped, along with his children, never called or messaged me to ask how I was doing. Hurricane Melissa devastated my country in October last year, and not even a message to say if I am ok. Nothing. When Federal workers weren’t being paid, I sent a message to ask whether he and his family were okay, since I knew he wasn’t being paid. He said he was ok.

A week ago, he wanted an honest answer he couldn’t get from others. He reached out to me.

I don’t know the answer to his question, but I could find out at the risk of my life.

That’s how it is here. Honesty can end your life, but lies can prolong it. The person involved is known for being dishonest. I have a reputation for being honest. If I ask, then someone will know I am involved. If they don’t get the answer they want, they will think I told the truth.

Friendship is a tree. What you water it with will determine how it bears. If you don’t water it, you can’t enjoy its fruits. Without water, it will starve. Then it will wither and die. Annelise Lords

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