Finding Myself Again

You know how people say all good things come to end? It's true, but what people don't tell you is how much heartache and pain comes with the aftermath.

I have always known what I have wanted to do since I was six years old. As most people were watching Barney and Seasme Street, my grandma was letting me watch soap operas like Days of Our Lives and The Bold and the Beautiful. I remember watching these stories and imagining what it would be like to be near these pretty people. I always asked my grandma, "Where did their names comes from? Where did they get their outfits? Why is their hair so pretty and shiny like that? Why do they call each other honey and kiss so much?" Little did I know it was a little thing called acting and it provided entertainment. I didn't know but I knew that I wanted to be in that world one way or another.

I will admit, the dream seemed crazy as no one in my immediate family is in the business although I have a secret that no one knows...I do have Hollywood royalty in my blood. If anyone can guess who I meant be related to they will get a shout out in my Oscar's speech ha. Hint: My last name is a clue.

While this dream become more and more of a dream than a reality as I grew up, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and wondering if this was even worth it? How can someone be so quick to give up their passion when it's the one thing that keeps them sane, makes them happy?

When I moved to Texas four years ago for grad school and to find a different passion, my saving grace during that cold, gray, frigid winter in January were my black and white movies. They got me up in the morning and put me to sleep at night. I soon became best friends with the likes of Joan Crawford, Clark Gable, William Powell, Myrna Loy, Rosalind Russel etc. They put a smile on my face and the iciness around my heart slowly started to melt and I began to remember my passion.

Fast forward three years later and I just finished grad school and got job of the lifetime (at the time) to The Gersh Agency. I remember thinking that I had made it and that I was going places. My passion was becoming my reality. It soon sunk in that it was hard work mixed with verbal abuse and being told that I was the worst assistant that I soon realized there are other ways to meet my passion. I have been trying to find myself ever since I got lured into that world and wanting to create my own stories for people to hear and see.

While my journey within this industry has been challenging and scary, it has been filled with many amazing opportunities and people that I am so eternally grateful to know and share experiences with. While I am still on the path to finding myself again (and a new job), I have faith that I am on my way and that a new opportunity will present itself soon.

I will leave you here with this quote from on of my favorite authors Susan Gale:

“The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for.”

Thank you for letting me tell you my story and I promise to update you all as I go.