Chasing the Life We Pretend We Don’t Want

Chasing the Life We Pretend We Don’t Want

There comes a moment, usually late at night or early in the morning, when everything is quiet — no distractions, no noise — and you’re forced to sit alone with your thoughts.

And that’s when it hits you.

That thing you said you didn’t care about? That dream you gave up on? That version of life you said you outgrew?

You’re still thinking about it.

Maybe you scroll past people living it. Maybe it shows up in a memory. Maybe it’s just a flicker of what could’ve been. But it’s there.

We say we’ve moved on, but part of us never really does.

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The Lie We Learn to Tell

Somewhere along the way, life taught us to play it safe. To be realistic. To accept what we’re given instead of going after what we truly want.

We convince ourselves we’re okay with “good enough.”

We tell people, “I didn’t really want that anyway.”

We lower our expectations because it hurts less when we don’t reach them.

And we think that if we say it enough, we’ll start to believe it.

But you can’t lie to your soul.

Even if your mouth says, “I’m over it,” your heart never forgets what it was once set on fire by.

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Dreams Don’t Expire, But We Do

The hardest part about giving up on a dream isn’t letting go — it’s living every day knowing you had the chance but didn’t take it.

That eats away at you in small ways.

You get irritated for no reason. You lose excitement for things you used to love. You feel empty in moments that should be full.

Because deep down, you’re haunted by the ghost of the life you could’ve lived.

And that ghost doesn’t go away — it just gets quieter, until you almost forget it was ever real.

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The Fear Behind the Facade

Most of us don’t quit because we lack talent or passion.

We quit because we’re scared.

Scared of failing.

Scared of looking foolish.

Scared that we’re not as good as we hoped we’d be.

So instead of saying “I’m afraid,” we say “I don’t care.”

We bury our dreams under a pile of excuses — timing, money, responsibilities — and tell ourselves it just wasn’t meant to be.

But what if it was meant to be… and you were just meant to fight for it?

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Rewriting the Story

You don’t have to pack up your entire life and start over tomorrow.

You don’t have to burn bridges or take reckless leaps.

But you do owe it to yourself to stop pretending you’re content with less than what you were made for.

Sometimes, it’s not about doing everything at once. It’s about doing something.

Take the class. Send the email. Write the first page. Apply for the job. Post the art. Reach out. Begin again — even if you’re scared.

Especially if you’re scared.

Because what if the life you secretly want is just waiting for you to stop pretending you don’t?

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The Secret Desire We All Share

Here’s the truth:

Most of us crave a life that feels authentic. One where we’re not constantly compromising who we are just to fit in or get by. We want to wake up excited. We want to feel proud of ourselves. We want to make the younger version of us smile and say, “You did it.”

But you can’t reach that life while pretending you don’t care about it.

So stop acting like you’re okay with mediocrity. Stop shrinking your goals to make other people comfortable. Stop living like it’s too late.

You’re not behind — you’re just beginning.

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Final Thoughts: It’s Not Too Late

Some dreams take longer. Some are messy. Some are painful. But that doesn’t make them any less worth chasing.

You can always try again. You can always change your mind. You can always rewrite your story.

And maybe — just maybe — the life you secretly want is the one that’s been waiting for you to stop pretending you don’t.

So go chase it.

Before the train leaves for good.