Can you be too self-aware?

Checklist:

1. Do you take on responsibilities too much?

- You feel the need to be responsible, even for others because you thought that you can actually achieve something from it. There were times you blame people for their incompetence or lack in skills that you assumed you are good at, reasoning that you deserve the recognition of being better than others. It almost became an "easier" way to push the blame onto others.

2. You knew who you really are

- There were times in life when you discovered things about yourself. It could be one or many circumstances where you made a decision solely for yourself, where other's opinions and judgements didn't matter to you, it felt that it was the right decision with your whole heart.

It would be an understatement to say that you felt good. It is one of those moments that you felt a big relief not being held back with any regrets. It reminded you when you recalled the moments that you wished you have the courage to relive again.

And because of that, you knew what you dreamed to be. What you wanted and the kind of life you expect to have. However, you made different choices at various situations as you felt the importance of fulfilling the expectations of others.

Ironically, that is the way we all are living and it never stops repeating.

3. You dwell on problems

- When facing unfavorable situations, you tend to feel negative emotions. It could frustration when someone cuts your line, angry when you have to clean up the mess left by someone else, etc.

You never really reflect on what are the issues that is within our control. You always allow those situations that occurred out of your control affect you. How you reacted and what actions that led up afterwards.

4. A divisor in relationships

-Have you noticed you picked on people, questioning how a person has certain qualities or not? No matter men or women, you spend time to make a wise choice to choose someone and you make the choice because they are better at few particular areas?

That's right.

You chose them because those qualities are what you favor, often what you can't let go of if it makes you know better about them. In the past, I only associate with people who I admired, like they talked about their dreams and how they are working towards that goal. I avoid those who are unsure of their aspirations because I felt that hanging around them makes me lazy and just be contented with what I already had. Especially when someone tells me that they cannot achieve something because their lack of skills or beliefs that it would work out sounded like excuses to me and that's when I concluded my judgements about this type of people behave in a certain way and their certain values are poorer than mine.

5. Holding back your feelings

- You selectively numb your emotions, especially avoiding sadness. Maybe you want to avoid the guilt of letting someone down or the burden of wrong someone. You held your feelings back and subconsciously, unhappiness overwhelms you because you bottle up the nature of how every human is only alive when we have feelings.

6. You know more about what's "in your way" than "how to"

- When someone asks you a question, for example "how to stay motivated?", do you always come to the process of get them to figure out what is causing them the problem, then providing them solutions to stop what they doing to achieve what they want?

Then, most likely the answers you gave so far are not they are seeking for because they already knew that and they wanted more. This is your "what's stopping me" kind of situations.

The "what's stopping me" is your way of solving your problems and many people are afraid as it gets them go deeper into thinking. To get the solution they really needed is a tough one, leading many solutions to connect with "because I didn't have the courage" or "because I didn't want to" or "because I don't know if I can do it" and more. No doubt that self-awareness is needed to confront those problems.

7. You can never get too much success

- Success means differently for many people, it could mean having a lot of money, possessions or achievements. However, it could mean that it is a choice, almost like freedom. It is the process when you worked hard for what you want, take on challenges and times when you enjoyed yourself, maybe learning new stuffs too.

But, you will not be overrated by the amount of success. It is the driving motor to get you going in life, the ups and downs that becoming who you are right now and in the future.

*Note: If you found yourself having more than 3, it's time to take a break.

But first, let's explore the core of high self-awareness.

Self-awareness is an ability to put focus on yourself, it is how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do and don't align with expected standards. The common questions can be what kind of a person I want to be, what can I do to improve myself, am I not as good as others, etc. Adequate amount of self-awareness is developed habitually because it holds the key to achieving happiness and success in a person, like how we quickly identify good attributes, analyze on our failures and always seek for improvements.

To be highly self-aware, you feel the uncomfortability emotion of stress and anxiety when we are arise in situations that are concentrated to ourselves. For instance, walking on the streets crowded with people and you felt like you're being watched and every giggle or conversations is all about you. You will also feel like they are judging your every action as they wait to see what you will do next. Such situation causes you to be on a intense state of awkwardness and nervous.

There are internal and external self-awareness.

Internal self-awareness is a private matter in which we take other's perspective into our own thoughts, when people are aware of certain aspects of their own. Like how you see yourself in the mirror, how you see someone attracted to you are examples that happens inside of you.

As for external ones, it is made public especially of how we see ourselves in the eyes of people. It is how we perceive as observers and speculate what we think they see in us. In situations where we are the center of the spotlight, maybe a time when giving a presentation or talking in a group of classmates, this often forces people adjusting to social norms. Because we are aware that we are being watched and evaluated by people, hence we are more likely to behave differently from your normal self in order to present yourself up to the acceptable standards of the society.

Both types of self-awareness must work together to maintain a good sense of ourselves and navigate through the complex social interactions.