ANXIETY IS A JOY TAKER

Mara sat in the corner of the crowded room, her hands clenched tightly around the glass of juice she wasn’t drinking. The chatter and laughter swirled around her, but it all sounded muffled, distant, like she was trapped behind a glass wall. Tonight was supposed to be special—her best friend’s birthday party. She had been looking forward to it for weeks, imagining the fun, the music, the carefree moments. But now, as she sat there, anxiety gripped her, stealing every ounce of joy she had hoped to feel.

Her chest felt heavy, her breathing shallow. She glanced around the room at her friends, carefree and engaged in conversation. A voice in her head began its relentless chant: They don’t really want you here. You’re too quiet. You’re so awkward—you’ll ruin their fun. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, trying to push the thoughts away, but they clung to her like shadows.

One of her friends waved her over, urging her to join a game they had started. Mara forced a small smile and stood, her legs feeling like they would buckle under her. She tried to follow the game’s instructions, but her mind was too busy dissecting every move she made. Did I sound stupid just now? Why did they laugh at that? Was it me? The self-doubt consumed her, making it impossible to be present.

When the game ended, Mara slipped back into her corner, pretending to check her phone. She watched her friends laughing and chatting, feeling like an outsider in a place where she should have felt at home. The gap between her and everyone else seemed to widen with every passing second.

The night dragged on, each minute weighed down by her anxious thoughts. As her friends danced, Mara sat frozen, her thoughts spiraling out of control. Why can’t I just relax? Why can’t I be like them? She felt tears prick her eyes but blinked them back, determined not to let anyone see how overwhelmed she was.

Finally, the party ended, and Mara slipped out quietly, her absence unnoticed in the crowd of goodbyes and laughter. On the ride home, she stared out the window, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. She replayed the entire night in her head, scrutinizing every interaction, every word she had said—or hadn’t said. Guilt weighed heavily on her chest. I should have tried harder. I ruined it for myself. Again.

That night, lying in bed, Mara felt utterly defeated. This wasn’t the first time anxiety had stolen a moment of joy from her. It had been happening for years—at school, at work, even during family gatherings. Every time she tried to embrace happiness, anxiety crept in, whispering doubts and fears until the joy was gone.

But as she stared at the ceiling, Mara felt something stir inside her. She was tired of letting anxiety control her life. She didn’t want to lose any more moments to the fear and overthinking that plagued her. For the first time, she made a decision—she was going to face her anxiety head-on, one small step at a time.

The next morning, Mara wrote herself a promise in her journal: I will not let anxiety steal my joy. I will fight back. She started by setting small goals for herself—things that pushed her out of her comfort zone, but not too far. She promised herself she’d join at least one conversation at every gathering, no matter how awkward it felt.

She also began practicing mindfulness. Every morning, she spent five minutes focusing on her breath and grounding herself in the present. When anxious thoughts crept in, she reminded herself, This is just a thought. It doesn’t define me. Slowly, she taught herself to let go of the need for perfection and embrace the moment for what it was.

Mara also found strength in talking to a close friend who understood her struggles. Sharing her feelings with someone who listened without judgment helped her feel lighter, less alone.

It wasn’t an instant fix. There were still days when anxiety whispered in her ear, but Mara was no longer powerless against it. She discovered tools to ground herself, to appreciate the little joys without letting fear overshadow them. Slowly, she began to laugh more freely, to join conversations without overthinking, to embrace the moments she used to dread.

Mara’s journey wasn’t perfect, but it was hers. She learned that anxiety might be a joy taker, but it didn’t have to be a joy keeper. Every day, she chose to take back her happiness, one small step at a time.

So, if you’ve ever felt like anxiety is stealing your joy, remember my story. I’m living proof that you can fight back, that you can reclaim the moments anxiety tries to take away.

I am Mara.