A Letter to the Town I Grew Up In

Small towns are the black holes that sit on Earth as we walk through life. They suck you into a mindset where having kids before 25 is required and moms fight their kids' fights against teenagers and dads are way too into the sports of a small town. Athletes are royalty to the town and the mean girls in school grow up to run a pyramid scheme of a job because they forgot what birth control is. Teachers at the school end up having generations of students in their classes and hearing the sentence “I had your mom and dad when they were high school” every year on the first day of school is nothing new. Kids who weren’t in sports or didn’t hang out with the ‘name brand’ kids were outcasts.

Oh, you don’t know what a name brand kid is? They are the kids whose families are the cause of the black hole, and half of the kids in school together are cousins or siblings because they pop out 10 kids each. But what causes the black hole? I found that growing up in small town meant that everyone was in your business at all times and people sincerely just start drama to have drama. I can't tell you how many times I had parents of my own friends telling me horrible things and constantly talking bad about teenagers I was going to school with. To top that off, I was a teacher's kid, so I was always tattled on or even better, parents would MAKE THINGS UP about me so that my parents would be upset with me. What a joke. The black hole is the people that never leave and are known to be the families that have the throne in the town. Their spawn are always popular and get away with whatever they want. But why call it a black hole? Because everyone and everything gets sucked into their mass destruction in and on their paths of life.

Most kids in high school from Iowa end up going to college in state. In-State tuition and 3 state schools allows for kids to get a degree without having to break the bank. (I did the same thing) But, it also means a lot of us never have the chance to get out. It's easier to just take the job closest to home and offered to you first because everyone we grow up with starts their life right after college or high school and some of us feel the need to have to catch up and end up making ourselves miserable after awhile. We make life altering decisions too early instead of chasing a dream career. But, that's the mentality of small town. Get a job, get a family, settle down, and never leave the comfort of your home town/state unless vacationing to the Lake of the Ozark's or Okoboji, IA.

Now, am I saying that everyone from small towns who stay in small towns are bad? No of course not. But, if you find yourself as the person who is stuck and unhappy and you have 3 kids and you're 27 then maybe this is for you. Maybe it's time to go back to school and chase your dream. Or maybe it's time to reflect on yourself and how you treated people growing up because you have no life now and no one even remembers your name. Maybe it's time for a gut check and a mentality change. You deserve it.

Growing up, a lot of kids in high school didn't like me. I was bullied and tormented by the popular girls my first two years of high school, and almost transferred schools until I found my core group of friends who introduced me to real music and I fell in love with a dream that was outside of my small town. I would like to sit here and say I had an amazing time growing up in my small town. My parents are my life support and always have been, and they gave me everything growing up. They supported me in all of my activities in high school, but they knew the troubles I had as well. Between parents in the town, and kids I was in school with, I was facing a lot of life lessons at the ages of 16-18. I had to learn a lot in high school when it came to being self sufficient and not being liked just for doing the right thing, and by the time my senior year came around, I honestly gave up trying to impress anyone and did my own thing. My dad taught me one of my greatest lessons in life that I still use to this day. There are two things you can control, attitude and effort. So spend your time focusing on those two things while you make your way through life.

In high school, I was planning on marrying the boy I met in school and I had no greater plan for myself. I thought that just meant I was content. I was going to be a teacher and get married out of college and start a family young. That was my plan, it was our plan, but I knew for myself that I was better than that. That boy broke my heart and I wouldn't seriously date anyone until I met my current boyfriend. I went for a career that wasn't the norm and I chose to chase what I loved instead. No longer did I want to just live in content. I wanted better for myself because I knew I had greater things to achieve for myself. I didn't want to be the person at the 10 year class reunion that blended in with everyone else. I wanted to be known as the person that got out and achieved, and instead of getting bullied, I wanted people to be jealous of me. Honestly, I don't ever see myself even going to a class reunion.

Not everything in a small town is bad. I still remain in contact with some people from my small town. My best friend that I talk to almost daily, I grew up with. Although our friendship just recently rekindled, I have to thank my small town for putting them in my life because it wouldn't be the same with out them.

My small town taught me a lot. Despite the hardships, heartbreak and frustrations, I learned a lot about myself growing up in a small town. I learned how to be mature when it comes to decision making and how what I decide to do in my life can effect those around me. I learned that not everyone in your life is meant to stay in your life and that it is ok to let people go, and just let them be. Wanting to stay in a small town isn't a bad thing, but knowing that there is more to life then the 10 mi radius of your home town is super important as well. Knowing that you have options is better than believing that the only thing in life is ending where you started. But, how do you come to realize that?

My realization came in college when I was crying over the fact that I couldn't pass a biology test to save my life. I was starting to come to the realization that I was trying to go into a career that I thought would make my parents proud of me and that it is what they wanted for me. I was wrong. They just want me to be happy and passionate about what I was doing. They wanted me to chase my dreams and just be someone who makes changes in the world for the better. My dream just ended up being the hardest to get into, music. But, I have to thank my small town for that. They say small town kids have the biggest work ethic because they have to spend so much of their time trying to fight for what they want with little opportunities an resources around them, and I would have to agree. I wouldn't be where I am today without having to work endless unpaid internship and working 5 part time jobs in college so that I could just pay the rent.

So here's this.

Dear Small Town,

Thank you for everything. Thank you for making me find my true self. My own identity. Thank you for the hardships, and thank you for letting karma take those that were horrible and letting them be sucked into your black hole. Thank you for making me an outcast because I wouldn't be where I am today without it. They say it takes a village, and I've learned that that village is full of good and bad people, amazing and traumatic memories. You showed me a side of life that I knew I didn't want to live in forever. I know you will always be there when I want to take a trip down memory lane. I have memories of every corner of every street. You have given me friendships that I will have forever and you have given me memories that showed me I deserved better.

See ya never,

Mackenzie.