grief
Grief is a natural and healthy response to death and loss of all kinds. Learn how to cope with the emotional pain, move forward and reclaim your happiness.
5 Truths about Coping with Grief and Loss
Coping with loss and grief can be quite the rollercoaster, and is something that we are facing even more in 2020. After losing my dad to a long battle with cancer, I struggled for years with how to deal with it healthily. Here are five truths about coping,and the grieving process, that I finally uncovered (as well as a quote for each point, written by me). Let them sink in, as well as the knowledge that even though you WILL experience grief, you WILL be okay. Trust the process. Embrace it, without rushing it. Life may never be the same, but that leaves room for personal growth.
By Annie Mae Edwards5 years ago in Longevity
Mourning and Grieving Our Pandemic Losses
So, how are you holding up? How are you feeling with this whole pandemic thing? You doing okay? Hey, if you aren't, you know what? That's okay. I mean, it's unfortunate and I feel for you, but, you aren't alone. And you have no reason to feel like your feelings on this don't matter. They do.
By Chris Hearn5 years ago in Longevity
Death and All Her Friends
We all cope with loss differently. Whether it's a sudden death of a young loved one, or an elderly loved one that was sick. We all have our stories, and it's important to remember that not everyone will grieve how you will grieve. When death comes knocking on our door, she does not come alone. She brings her friend Grief and all her friends.
By TheCoffeeAddictWrites5 years ago in Longevity
The Blissful Art of Dying
It is true that from the beginning stages of life on Earth society begins to teach and condition you to have a fundamental aversion to anything painful, anything not understood. To fear the unknown. When the toddler has a belly ache and throws up any person that witnesses it says "ugh that's to bad" or "eww that's gross". So we are taught that throwing up is not socially acceptable and we fight to hold it in and resist letting it out for as long as we can. Anyone who has ever had a belly ache knows though that throwing up can give you a great deal of relief and once its happened one begins to feel substantially better. Then later in life a family member passes away and the child observes everyone dress in black and put on long faces and say "Uncle Joe has passed away, oh its so sad". This becomes the conditions and the basis of thought for the accepted normal response to death. Finally when the child grows up and has their own kids the cycle begins again. It doesn't at all have to be this way though. We could have a social understanding of death and what its process is. There is nothing really wrong with being sick or dying. Death is only the other end of birth. See one cannot exist without the other. Without death the Earth would become overpopulated and depleted. When one life ends it creates space for new life to begin. So in a way the man that dies should be honored for allowing room for new experiences to unfold. After all life is just a series of happenings. Its much more satisfying for the universe to experience life through continuous new existences instead of the same ones forever. This way it gets to experience renewed ways of thinking. It evolves this way instead of doing the same thing forever. Living forever in the same human experience is not the way we intended to be. If it were we wouldn't have children. See having children is natures way of allowing us to stop. To give it up. To let it go. We reach a point that we can say to our offspring "okay I have done this long enough I have mastered all their is to master now I give it over to you to continue." Humans have adopted the notion that all life everywhere must be saved. Why? That's not in our control. Life wasn't meant to be saved. It was meant to be lived. It was meant to be experienced. It was meant to be enjoyed beginning to end and all points in between. All life is eternal. Once it has been created it will exist forever. This does not mean it will take the same form. It will evolve and adapt and appear in different forms but it will remain an energy forever. Before the world was a world it existed as different particles and after it has been a world it will exist as something else, but it will still exist. It will still live. Maybe not within the laws boundaries and parameters as we understand as humans but it was created just as blades of grass, the stars in the sky, and dinosaurs were created. Its all connected. Its all life. We are all part of it all. Lets go back to pain and our reaction to it. We think of it in a way of pain and the one that suffers from it. Pain is experienced more intensely by those that put a great deal of energy into the resistance of it. Those that fear it or those that worry about it tend to suffer more. The cancer patient that knows she is dying often finds a peace in understanding there is nothing she can do about a situation and nothing she cant do about a situation. Somewhere in the surrender to that, in the giving up to the circumstance she suddenly realizes that she is free. Free from worry and confusion. She is then able to live out her days quite content and as comfortable and happy as she wants to be. On the other hand you have the grandfather that has lived a good life to the best of his knowledge but finds himself in the hospital but no ones giving him answers. He suspects he's dying but everyone insists he isn't. This causes concern and frustrations...resistance. Road blocks in the form of deceptions that prevent him from acceptance and peace. As a society we put our sick and dying away and out of sight in the facilities to spend their end of days out of view so that we are not to be bothered and disturbed by it. See because the big problem we have with people that are sick or dying or in pain is with the noise they make. The remembrance it brings to us that we too will one day die. So we put them away free from our vision and easier on our minds. We return then once they have departed and the only ones burdened by their cries were the others also dying, to burry them and discuss how much they will be missed. Though we dismissed the time we had with them out of convenience for ourselves. Most times they were lied to and told to hold on to hope. That they would soon feel better and be back to playing bridge with Mary Ann around the corner in no time. They spend their last days with strangers instead of loved ones and doped up in a way that death hardly happens. We really do need to evolve different procedures for the sick and dying. Create a different kind of experience in which this happens. If one can go into death with eyes open and have someone help you if necessary to give up before you die. To submit to the release and resistance. To free yourself from the fear of dying then this extraordinary thing can happen to you. You can experience life and death as an adventure without fear and uncertainty. You can detach from the view of life in terms of survival and profit and enjoy it for the process it can be. New life begins and completed life evolves onto the next thing but it does not end instead it gracefully transforms into a blissful new experience for the universe to explore.
By Nevaeh Rhodes (Emily Murff)5 years ago in Longevity
How I Survive and Thrive Loss Loved Ones
I realize that in the month of July 2006 I was totally depressed and did not desire to get out of bed but just stay there with my head covered crying with no hope. I just became a Believer of Jesus in March and notice some changes I needed to make with my life. I love to do self exploring which I was doing with tears in my eyes wondering what happen in July. I just could not remember but every emotions knew that this was a hard time for me. I asked my family questions and was told this is the month my daddy's mother died of Cancer. The flash back of that time came I do not recall the year but the experience was so clear. For two weeks my dad and I would drive 40 minutes to the hospital after getting daily calls that this is the last day we may see her so come quickly. That was the most stressful two weeks ever in my life. After my grandmother died I so hated driving past that hospital. So, In 2006 I made a declaration that I am a new person in the faith and I will not be bound by unhealthy responses to my deceased loved ones.
By Avizz V Wright5 years ago in Longevity
In the beginning
Resa Ferreira Grief, Part 1 Today It was not my husband’s first stroke or the last stroke or any of the strokes in between that brought me to my knees. It was my disconnect. I lost my way and could not remember grief - the depth and breadth of it, the sorrow and angst, and even the joy of it.
By Resa Ferreira5 years ago in Longevity
I'm A Griever, & That's Never Going to Change
Grief doesn't have a timeline. There is also no way to neatly define, experience, or describe the effects loss has on the griever. Every loss is different, and the way we experience and process those losses are equally unique. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no such thing as "getting better." Because the problem you have cannot be fixed. There is no solution. A person you love deeply is no longer physically here, and your brain has to learn to see it, feel it, and accept it as your new reality.
By Alissa Abbey6 years ago in Longevity
dealing with grief
My mental health has been poor for a while, many small things piled on top of each other. I planned this year out so could raise my spirits along with my fiancés. Planned our wedding, honeymoon, 3 concerts and a further trip away. At present the final trip away is all that's left and I am sure it wont go ahead. Add to this I knew one of my best friends was dying. He had all the treatment, the support of his brilliant wife and friends.
By ASHLEY SMITH6 years ago in Longevity
Last Goodbye
She laid in the bed surrounded by white walls; the only sound was the beeping tell people that she was still alive for now. While she laid there alone, she only thought about him hoping that he would walk through the door even though she knew in her mind that it would never happen. He was gone, he was now happy with another while she laid in that bed waiting to take her last breath. She wanted it that way though, he did not know what was happening right now, he was completely oblivious that the only girl that had ever truly loved him was laying there, alone. She thought back to the day that she had found out, the day that had changed her forever. She sat in the doctors office not really thinking about the worst, she had problems already with her iron, but she never thought that the cause of her low iron would be something so bad. When the doctor came in, she saw the look on her doctors face and knew right away that something was wrong. The doctor shut the door and sat down across from her, she looked her right in the face and told her that she had liver failure. The donor list was long and there was no guarantee that she would get a new liver in time. She looked at her doctor stunned, not knowing what to say or do. The doctor recommended that they keep giving her iron transfusions and she just nodded her head in agreement. She then thanked the doctor and walked out, the walk home was a long one and her mind could do nothing but race. She thought about her boyfriend, they had only been together for a little over a year and she loved him so much. They had their hard times, but they got over it and everything was better. She wondered how her boyfriend would take it or her family and friends. I would like to say that she told him and that everything turned out alright, but it didn’t. She never told him or anyone. As time went on her health went down and no one noticed through the fake smiles that she gave. The time that they had been together she always believed that she was never good enough for him and that he deserved better when she was his equal. One day while he was at work she went out for a walk; she soon lost all her strength and fell to the ground. When she woke up in the white room and herd the sound of the machines, she knew that this was it for her. She felt weak and could barley keep her eyes open, little did she know though that the hospital called her boyfriend to tell him the news and he was on his way to her going as fast as he could. By the time he got there it was too late, she was gone. He looked upon her still body laying there in the bed, he slowly walked toward her. He put his hand on hers and felt the coldness of her hand giving the sign that she was gone. His eyes filled with tears. In her hand was a note, he took the note and opened it. Written on the note in her handwriting was the words, “I love you. This is my last goodbye.” His face was completely wet with tears as he leaned over to give her one last kiss while saying, “This is not goodbye, it is only see you soon.”
By Michelle Roberts-Stark6 years ago in Longevity
Grief
Yes. We’re all human. Which means we have relationships. Healthy ones, toxic ones, with family, with friends and naturally with certain people who are maybe a little bit more than just a friend...? But I think we can agree that those relationships all bring something unique and different into our lives. Whether that’s happiness, stability, fun, support. The list goes on and on and on. But sometimes when you lose these people you love, it’s the most painful thing in the world. Now, reading this won’t fix your problems. It won’t heal the wounds in your heart- trust me, you wouldn’t belive the amount of blogs, books & articles I’ve read on how to process my emotions properly, how to get over break-ups, how to deal with bereavement - truth is, none of them made me magically feel better. None of them pulled me out of my grief and pain. But I hope that you can read this today and if you take away only one thing, let it be this: It’s not a crime to be sad. You don’t have to pretend that you’re okay, you don’t always have to be strong & you definitely don’t have to fear losing toxic relationships...okay that was three but give me a break, my maths is shocking. If I’m being 100% honest I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried on the bus, at work, at college, on my own, in my friends arms, on the shoulder of someone untrustworthy. I really have lost count. But I don’t think that makes me weak. Jesus if anything that makes me strong. My bad days make my good days amazing ones, my depression makes my happiness the most precious thing in the world & most importantly everyone’s tears can be wiped away, scars heal & painful moments just become painful memories. And that really is the truest thing I’ve ever written.
By Lenni Mae Bashford 6 years ago in Longevity
