I Thought I Knew Self-Care — I Was Wrong

When I was feeling low, I used to believe that self-care consisted solely of spa days, face masks, and indulging in something sweet. It was a decade ago. I once thought that caring for oneself was a band-aid solution, something you did only when you were exhausted, rather than something you did every day. I regret not understanding then that taking care of oneself is a lifestyle choice rather than a short-term diversion.

I share the most important lessons I've learned about self-care in the last ten years in this post; I wish I had known sooner. This is for you if self-care has ever seemed like just another task to complete.

1. Self-Care Is More Than Just Bubble Baths & Face Masks

The biggest misconception I had about self-care was that it was solely about pampering myself. While enjoying a relaxing bath or a spa day can be nice, true self-care involves nurturing yourself in ways that promote lasting well-being.

Self-care includes setting boundaries, nourishing your body with healthy food, getting enough sleep, and addressing your mental health needs. It’s about making choices that support your long-term wellness, even when those choices aren’t the most enjoyable or glamorous.

2. Rest Isn’t Lazy — It’s Necessary

For years, I mistakenly equated rest with laziness. I believed that to be productive, I had to keep pushing myself, even when I was exhausted. I now understand that rest is not just a luxury — it is essential for mental clarity, creativity, and emotional well-being.

Burnout isn’t a sign of success; instead, it indicates that you have been neglecting your own needs. Allowing yourself permission to rest is an important act of self-care that enables you to show up as your best self.

3. Saying No Is a Form of Self-Care

I used to agree to everything, even when it left me exhausted, because I was a chronic people-pleaser. One of the most effective self-care lessons I’ve learned is how to say “no.” Saying no demonstrates intentionality rather than selfishness. It’s critical to safeguard your time, energy, and mental health. You make room for what really matters when you turn down commitments that don’t fit with your values or recharge your energy.

4. Movement Is About Joy, Not Punishment

Exercise used to seem like a punishment for consuming “bad” foods to me. I no longer move my body because I have to, but rather because it feels good. Walking, dancing, yoga, and strength training are all examples of joyful movement that should feel more like a gift than a chore. It makes all the difference to find things you enjoy doing rather than making yourself do exercises you detest.

5. Food Is Fuel, Not a Reward or Punishment

Diet culture taught me to view food as something to fear, control, or use as a reward. Now, I see food as nourishment rather than an enemy. Eating well isn’t about strict rules or feeling guilty; it’s about providing your body with what it needs to thrive. Mindful eating, intuitive choices, and balance are far more sustainable than restrictive dieting.

6. The Importance of Digital Detoxing and Mental Space

Ten years ago, I didn’t realize how much my phone and social media were impacting my well-being. Endless scrolling, constant comparisons to others, and being perpetually online drained my energy and self-esteem. Now, I prioritize digital detoxing by setting time limits on apps, taking breaks from social media, and focusing on being present in real life. Creating mental space has led to increased creativity, joy, and peace.

Conclusion: Advice to My Younger Self

If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self this: self-care is not selfish. It’s not about quick fixes or trendy fads; it’s about creating a life that feels rewarding to live every day.

To anyone reading this: It’s never too late to start prioritizing yourself. Begin with small steps, stay consistent, and remember that self-care is an ongoing journey, not a destination. What self-care lesson have you learned over the years? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.