Satire
Bloody Pencilvanian-Penlander War Continues With No End In Sight
The ink stains of the dead Penlanders are as fresh as the horror and dismay over the fates of the many Pencilvanians erased from the front lines. This centuries old conflict shows no signs of abating as fighting renewed again yesterday at the contested border between the two warring nation states. Hardest hit by loss were the famed Penlander fountaineers claiming some 500 dead in the first five minutes of fighting alone. They stormed the Pencilvanian front lines early and with numbers but ran head first into a hail of graphite re-enforced artillery shells lobbed from deep behind enemy lines. The battle tested #2 company of the Pencilvanian army then counter attacked with a neat pincer move attempting to sever the head of the Penlander BiC brigade, so named for its legendary leader General Brad (ironside) Cotton. General Cotton called for a counter-attack but the Pencilvanians gelled as a unit, hardened their lines with their mechanicalized troops, and repulsed the counter easily with a simple brush stroke. In a last ditch maneuver to salvage something from the horrendous string of losses the General fielded razor company and the 101st lighter brigade consisting of several thousand battle tested Penlander shock troopers. They attacked in ball point formation exploiting a small crack in the Pencilvanian lines. At the point of impact ink and black carbon flew in all directions as the ancient enemies met in bloody tip to tip fighting. This reporter will never forget the horror of that sight and prays for a swift end to this seemingly never ending war.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
Doomsday Peppers Prepare for the Apocalypse
Doomsday peppers the world over are busy preparing for the Ripeture, the event which is said to foretell the coming apocalypse. According to the peppers when the Ripeture happens all good peppers will suddenly disappear leaving only their neatly folded husks behind. The non-peppers unfortunate enough to be left behind will be forced to spend their remaining days fighting to survive in a hellish nightmarescape of death and destruction. Stuck hanging on their shrubs as they slowly rot from radiation exposure or die from dehyrdation due to lack of available clean drinking water. A leader of the local pepper movement in Sinaloa, Mexico, Pablo Ano said the following in a prepared statement. "All good peppers must prepare now for the Ripeture. It will come suddenly and without warning. Those sinful peppers who do not believe in our great leader Dr. Pepper, blessed by the holy ghost, will be left behind to rot. Those non believers will never gain entry to the heavenly garden of eden where peppers of all varieties live forever in paradise." According to pepper lore the garden of eden has soil so rich all peppers can live for eternity without any need for fertilizer, inseticides, or replanting. In fact, it is believed that no insects are allowed in the garden lest they disturb the holy peppers planted there.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
Local IT Manager Hires Hollywood Production Company to Create Content for Anti-Phishing Campaign
Local IT manager of Openz Industries, Ted Stephens, announced today that he had hired a Hollywood production company to create content for an anti-phishing campaign aimed at rank and file employees. Openz is a global leader in the manufacturing and distribution of automatic garage door opener remote controls and provides remotes for all of the leading automatic garage door manufacturers world-wide. The company has recently been hit with a spate of phishing attacks and employees have been easily fooled by fake emails exposing valuable company data to hackers intent on using the data to extort Openz or its customers for large sums of money. Specifically the hackers are believed to be targeting Openz' database of garage door opener codes. If those codes were compromised it would cripple Openz and possibly put hundreds of thousands of garage door opener remote control users at increased risk of break in. The previous attacks used fake emails that appeared to be coming from Openz corporate headquarters in Pittsburg, PA, and informed employees that they needed to update their user names and passwords as the company would soon be transitioning to new customer and pricing management software. The emails instructed the employees to click on a link which led to a fake website where they were then asked to input their current user names and passwords and asked several personal identifier questions during which many employees freely gave up their social security numbers, home addresses, personal cell phone numbers, and even detailed information on the whereabous of their sons, daughters, husbands, and wives. In the first atttack some 72% of employees fell for the scam. That number dropped to 40% for the second attack, but that second attack also saw several senior executive sduped. Mr Stephens said of the phishing attackss "While it is true that 40% of our employees were completely tricked by the fake emails and foolishly surrendered personal and confidential information, that leaves 60% who were not fooled. Those 60% need to fully understand the seriousness of the threat we face. They may have sniffed out the first wave of phising attacks fairly easily, but let's see how they do when Hollywood production company New Wave Entertainment steps up to the plate."
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
Chatter Gulls
“Get out of here! Go on! Shoo!” It was an all too familiar scene every…single…time…we prepared our lunch on the beach at St. George Island State Park in Florida. My mom would periodically take us there for the day. I never failed to see swarms of seagulls hovering overhead anytime people had food, because the gulls had been conditioned to people feeding them—even though it was prohibited.
By H. L. "Scooter" Ward, Jr.2 years ago in Humor
Laughing All the Way
Once upon a time, in the quaint little town of Chuckleville, there lived a man named Bob who had an unusual predicament. You see, Bob couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't a sporadic chuckle or a polite giggle; it was hearty, infectious laughter that erupted at the most unexpected moments. His laughter was so contagious that even the grumpiest of folks couldn't help but crack a smile in his presence.
By Rajesh kumar 2 years ago in Humor
"The Comedy Chronicles"
In a world where stress and seriousness often take center stage, there exists a delightful counterbalance – the realm of comedy. The Comedy Chronicles is a whimsical collection of stories, anecdotes, and experiences that reveal the extraordinary power of laughter in the most unexpected places.
By Rajesh kumar 2 years ago in Humor
Love, Lies, and Laughter: The Chronicles of a Cheater Girlfriend
In a society where love is meant to be a holy alliance based on devotion and trust, there is a kind of con artists that take great pleasure in playing the hearts of the gullible. Allow me to present to you the all too familiar and regrettably unforgettable Cheater Girlfriend, sadly one of the chapter of my life.
By Ronish Nakarmi2 years ago in Humor
How I Made, Like, A Billion Dollars from Writing in One Month
Let me tell you the story of how writing online make me stinking rich in just a few simple steps. Read on as I magnanimously share these secrets with you, absolutely for free. ‘Free’ meaning at least until I get your email address and bombard you with spam for my $600 How to Make A Billion Dollars Online course.
By Jack Faulkner2 years ago in Humor
Desmina de Vil SLAYS at New York Fashion Week
Happy Friday the 13th! As Spooky Season lays heavily on our chests, so does the inundation of news about Fall Fashion Weeks around the world, from Seoul to New York to Paris. And like Halloween, we witness the macabre costume wickedness of fashion. It's a cut-throat world where one display of absurdity tops another, packaged in beauty filter and botox. Extra points if you can make a ghoul look extra glamorous. I swear I’m seeing almost as many articles about Kendall Jenner wearing a dress made of faux fingernails at the Schiaparelli show in Paris as breaking news on Ghost couples on this season of Love is Blind. Kendall’s snoopy walk or Stacy’s Trump-inspired blush, color me absolutely screaming for my life.
By Desmina de Vil2 years ago in Humor
