Irony
Teethpaste. Second Place in Absurdist Awakening Challenge.
Lumps of brown enamel tumble off my brush and cascade down the basin. The teethpaste has decayed again. Damn. Since the tariffs, Chinese tooth imports have shrunk, all Mexican molars are getting stopped at the border, and the Canadians have responded with their own tooth-for-a-tooth restrictions. All I can afford is this nasty, flaky paste made of ground-up 'Murican dental waste and crack-hen's teeth.
By Addison Alder10 months ago in Humor
To Blurb or Not to Blurb
From the dust jacket of this week's bestseller: One of the greatest novels of the past year, the author must be commended for his approach to the epic story of a boy, a girl and a sandwich during the Great War! - P. P. Simoleon, The Picayune Gazette
By Kendall Defoe 10 months ago in Humor
The Great Avocado Uprising
Norman Blinksworth just wanted an avocado. That was all. A single, ripe avocado something that, in theory, should have been an uneventful purchase. But of course, Norman lived in a universe that had long abandoned logic in favour of chaos, and so this would become the day that the produce section finally snapped.
By The INFORMER10 months ago in Humor
🍕The pizza delivery mystery👀 . Top Story - March 2025.
"There is someone at the front door". Alexa announced in her proper, preppy English voice. Now Dad had just installed a doorbell camera/Alexa informing/bell identification system so one could know when someone comes to the door as no one can hear said bell from way upstairs; thing-a-ma-jig. I don't know much about such things as you can clearly fathom here.
By Antoni De'Leon10 months ago in Humor
Let Me Out
It’s finally Friday! After a full day of teaching, it feels like my energy has been drained. So, I decided to do something for myself—give myself a little gift, just like I do for my students. Maybe it’ll cheer me up. I jumped into my car, buckled up, and got ready for my next adventure to the store. Strangely, my face wasn’t smiling. It was serious, as if this were a routine every single Friday. Or maybe it was! Was I shopping last Friday too? I can’t quite remember. Well, after thirty, everything changes—that’s what they say, right?
By Ina Zeneli10 months ago in Humor
On My Way Home
Hello. My name is Zack Norman. This is my first time coming to one of these conventions. You may recognize me as one of the people standing outside making fun of you. But there was an event in my life that forced me to change sides. Let me tell you all about it.
By David E. Perry10 months ago in Humor
When Integers Attack. Honorable Mention in Absurdist Awakening Challenge. Top Story - March 2025.
The dreaded SAT starts promptly at 8:30 am in the morning. Too damn early if you ask me. Getting a good score is the only way of getting a scholarship into a decent college (unless you get a B-list actress to pay someone to take the test for you). Ninety of us are packed in like herrings, nine neat rows, entering demographic information in case universities want to contact us directly. Lots of codes and crap to enter: student ID, school, room number, blood type, next of kin, my car’s VIN.
By Barb Dukeman11 months ago in Humor
