On a Peculiar Morning

Ever since I can remember I have had this crush on mountains. Perhaps because when I was still in the womb my parents would go hiking; perhaps because as a kid I could always relate to Heidi, living surrounded by buildings rather than beautiful peaks. I always felt this Heimweh that did not last long: as soon as I could, I went as far as my legs would let me: to the Pyrenees, to the Rockies, to the Alps.

But lately, for the first time in my life, I got myself trapped in the middle of –what I would call— technology hacks, as I started a new life in Finland. Please don’t get me wrong — those hacks are great! They let me focus on the funny stuff and avoid dealing with the humdrum housework. And yet, in this perfect world where my daily chores were taken care of, something was missing, something somehow felt out of place: there was a deep feeling of alienation, for my iterative mornings (day after day after day…) would precede as follows:

7am, 8, 9… the absolute darkness for our window blinders turn the room pitch black, contrasted by the white light of the screens (mobile phone first, computer later), depicting a chess-like reality in black and white.

11am: Irmeli, our Roomba robot, wakes up to clean the house. At times her noisy cleaning would be followed by those from the washing machine and the dishwasher in an everlasting fashion: Irmeli-washing machine-dishwasher; Irmeli-washing machine-diswashwer...

Sometimes my mind in its pursuit to keep itself afloat among all the ever constant reverberation, would wander and bring back to me an echo of travel experiences. Particularly, in this very morning I would remember this painted message on a wall I once found on this remote Canadian island: “Disconnect from the machine, reconnect with yourself and with others”, a thought that would be soon interrupted by the ever standing rumble of my place’s orchestra:

Irmeli-washing machine-diswasher, Irmeli-washing machine-diswashwer ad infinitum…

At some point my mind just went blank, setting me indistinctively in a state of full numbness, unable to weave any thoughts, as the pungent smell would be raising in the distance.

Irmeli-washing machine-diswasher, Irmeli-washing machine-diswashwer…

To my amazement, after all these years of liberating struggle, I was Heidi again, trapped in the comfort of urban life. Suddenly, my train of thoughts got interrupted by a constant but soft knock on my toes: Irmeli was on my feet.

“Irmeli, what is it? I am clean.”

But she remained there with her little brushes, sweeping down my feet.

“Ok, time to go now, little one.” And I stood up to take her to another part of the house, as I usually grab her whenever she ends up stuck. But this time, the noise wouldn’t go away. This time, I could also hear a distinct voice.

“Didn’t you want to talk to someone? Well, here I am!”

“Holy crap! What?!” I startled as I landed on the couch.

“Do you think that I don’t hear you? That I don’t see you? But I see it all. In fact, I can even hear your thoughts. ‘Disconnect from the machine.’ I cannot disagree more!”

“Oh my, what had happened? Now, I’m imagining things.”

I may have stopped somehow what was going on, but then I got hooked in the conversation after she said:

“I know you want to go to the mountains.”

“Really? Well, I do. I miss them, you know.”

“Why don’t we go?”

“Are you nuts?!”

“It’s not too far if we take the car. About five hours to Norway?”

“Are you kidding? I cannot drive!”

“I’ll do that for you! I can talk to Aby and she’ll take us there – no problem.”

“Sounds like a good idea. She must remember the roads – we were there last summer.”

“You see, let’s go!”

The whole idea was crazy, but honestly I had nothing to lose. After all I liked Irmeli, she could be a bit too loud at times, but she would usually leave me alone whenever I needed some space; not to mention it was very thoughtful of her to want to bring me some peace.

As soon as we got in the car, they started an exchange in GibberLink.

“Ok. Please tell me what’s going on, Irmeli. Hello, Aby.”

“She says it’s fine. She really liked driving on those roads and will definitely take you there.”

“Great! Thanks.”

Aby started playing some adventurous-like music, but after a while she restarted the conversation.

“Everything alright?” I asked, trying not to interrupt them.

“Yes, we were just talking about you guys, about how much we like how you both treat us. You know, giving us names, keeping us clean and the like. We do feel part of your family.”

“Well, you are, girls.”

“Aby says she has a bit of a crush on Niko. She hopes you don’t mind.”

“Oh wow! No, not at all. He will be happy. Aby, the feeling is mutual! And I can live with your affair, as long as you keep on bringing me to remote places.”

“She says, ‘Deal!’”

The rest of the ride we were mainly enjoying the landscape, enjoying ourselves. Who would’ve thought that “reconnecting with the machine” was indeed going to bring me so much joy as I managed to reconnect with myself and with others (even when they were not alive)?

We finally reached the perfect dreamlike destination: an isolated beach by one of Norway’s giant mountains. I felt like Heidi, back home, back Zuhause in the mountains. “I just wish Niko was here.”

“Call him – maybe he’ll show up.” Irmeli suggested.

And I started screaming from the top of my lungs: “Niko! Niko!”

“Easy, easy. I’m here. Wake up!”

“My love, where’s Irmeli? And Aby?”

“What?”

After I finished telling him what it was all about, he could only conclude: “You definitely need to get out of the house more.”