Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Humor.
Laughter Knows No Age: How My Grandma Became a Stand-Up Sensation at 75:
If you’d told me five years ago that my 75-year-old grandmother would be slaying audiences at comedy clubs, I’d have assumed you’d mistaken her knitting needles for a microphone. But here we are: Betty “Boom Boom” Wilkins, a silver-haired firecracker in orthopedic shoes, is proof that humor doesn’t retire—it reinvents.
By Sanchita Chatterjee11 months ago in Humor
Awakening in Gold
Jack woke up to find his head encapsulated in a fishbowl-like hangover brought on by too many canned margaritas the night before. His wife and daughters had been away twelve days of a two week trip to visit the in-laws, and he’d already plowed through almost a hundred of the devilishly-alcoholic salty sour little cocktails. Jack didn’t normally drink, but at the bottom of each can was a code redeemable for FanPoints on his preferred sports betting platform and it seemed wasteful to pour them out. With some chagrin he checked his phone, seeing the deposits he’d made the night before. Bad luck follows me, he thought.
By J. Otis Haas11 months ago in Humor
Cardio, Chaos, and Crippling Regret
I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was the motivational post I scrolled past on Instagram—some chipper fitness guru beaming as she did lunges in a sunlit park. Maybe it was the way my cat looked at me that morning, as if questioning my entire life’s commitment to physical activity.
By Tesie Mills11 months ago in Humor
This Adventure Bites
My mouth opens, releasing the pungent smell of the incubated breath from the past 6 hours. Tortilla, processed cheese, chili, and other nom-noms from the previous night’s gathering. My stomach may be happy, but my nose scrunches with disdain. Dizziness circles my head while I reach for my swirly blue-colored toothbrush, my only weapon to combat the budding halitosis. Squeezing the toothpaste on the bristle, a routine I do every morning, a small gruff voice interrupts me.
By Iris Harris11 months ago in Humor
Never Assume
There was a guy at work, which we will call him Jack. His real name will remain a secret. Yet he was a good worker who came in on time every day. This excludes so many in the crew that I am on. So, he was an exception and always kind. His outfits and shoes always matched. Jack was always at work with a positive attitude, which is missing in this place. If you had worked there, you would have understood the negative attitudes, too. Yet it was never a day without chaos, and Jack rolled with the flow. No one really bothered him, and he did not bother others either. Jack sat at the back table near the board. He never spoke up or caused trouble, either.
By Sarah Danaher11 months ago in Humor
Life on Earth
“There’s life on Earth,” I say. And instantly regret it. The room goes feral. An Elder gasps so hard his lung almost escapes like a bat out of hell. Another clutches his chest, as if I just slapped him with the raw, wet fish of truth. Someone in the back actually faints—which is impressive, considering our blood is basically mist and anxiety.
By Iris Obscura11 months ago in Humor
Just a Cuppa
Jarred from my sleep by the shrill exclamation of my alarm, I dazedly swipe the disable option from my watch, feeling immediate relief at the resulting absence of noise. I grumble (just another part of my daily routine) then shuffle into my boots/stilettos/[texture not found] slippers and meander to the bathroom. I perform my morning ablutions, brushing my teeth while the video game visage peers back at me through lidded, groggy eyes. I chuckle; my ability to visualize is ordinarily non-existent. I must be more tired than I thought.
By Chris Walker11 months ago in Humor
Tiny Knight in A Skirt
My name is Elina, I’m seventeen years old, and today may have been the weirdest day of my whole life. First, I was helping my mother around the barnyard. Not that easy when you’re around five inches tall and all the animals are bigger than you. But I make it work the best that I can. As I carry around a large needle to defend myself. Mother insisted upon that one. And as I was getting this system set up to feed the pigs. It’s a set up that involves some twine, nails, and a lot of arm strength for me.
By Raphael Fontenelle11 months ago in Humor
The Mundane and the Fabulous
I’m mopping the lobby like it called me fat in high school. If I scrub hard enough, maybe I can erase not just the stains but the entire sorry existence of the Sandstone Suites—this motel-shaped purgatory where hope checks in and dignity sneaks out with the minibar.
By Iris Obscura11 months ago in Humor
