The strength In Opening your Heart after Breakup

Breakups are never easy. Society often tells us to play it cool, to act indifferent , to show that we can let go without being affected. "Don't care , don't feel , don't let them see your pain", they say. And yes, that strategy sometimes work _ It protect us in the short term.

But what i have learned is that true healing comes from a different kind of courage: the courage to open your heart fully, even when it hurts. the courage to not pretend that you're not touched by the situation and instead speak the truth, speak what you are feeling and how their decision makes you feel, without diminishing and underestimating yourselves, even when it hurts.

A few years ago, i went through a breakup up with someone i truly cared about. the pain was intense, so i chose to shut down completely. I stopped answering his messages, ignored his calls and convinced myself that i didn't care. I thought i was strong. i thought i was moving forward.

For a while, it seemed like i had healed. I entered a new relationship, i laughed ; i smiled, and i told myself that i had left the past behind. But deep down, something was unresolved.

Every time i thought i had healed, i realized that i hadn't. I had buried my true feelings out of pride. I had convinced myself that expressing my emotions was a weakness.

"When we act indifferent, our hearts should be convinced too_ not just living by lying to ourselves. That how we heal. We heal by telling ourselves the truth".

Then he reached out again after a year. I didn't know his intentions _ was he coming back out of attachment; love, or something else entirely? unsure, i wore a mask and started talking to him. At first, it felt comforting, familiar even. But because i hadn't been clear about my feeling and boundaries the first time, i started developing expectations he couldn't meet. He assumed i had moved on, and i assumed we were on the same page. That gap between the reality and unspoken truth caused me more pain than before.

Through this experience, i realized something essential: expressing your emotions honesty is not a sign of weakness. It is a way to honored yourself , to face your feelings without fear, and to set boundaries that protect your heart. Even if you care for someone, or even if you loved them, it doesn't mean you must stay attached or hide the truth. And sometimes, even if that person doesn't understand or sees your feelings, that clarity is for you, not for them.

Opening your heart after a breakup doesn't mean falling back in love or letting someone in to your life the way they were before. It means having the courage to speak your truth, release your emotions, and move forward. It means showing yourself that you're capable of living fully and freely, even without that person. And when you do this , showing you no longer depend on them, isn't cold _ it's strength. it is proof that you can love, care , and forgive while still prioritizing your own well being.

Healing is not about ignoring the pain, It is about using it as a guide , a mirror showing who you are and who you can become. Opening your heart after breakup isn't weakness; it is one of the bravest things that you can do. And when you finally embrace that, you discover a strength inside you that is unshakable, resilient , and free.

Words by Solange, inspired by pain, reborn through purpose