COCKBLOCKS COST

Here I go again, with another tale that wouldn't exist if someone didn't get on my last nerve. It's a Sunday in November, and I'm on the clock doing the damn thing like always. The workers are working and the customers are customering without any need for urgency or haste.

A particular group of people seems to be having a better night than the rest of us. It's a couple; A thick chick and a dude with blonde dreads, kissing and cradling at every opportunity as if no one exists in the world but the two of them. They also had an extra friend along.

I try not to be a hater when it comes to displays of affection, but in some cases, it seems like people truly just want to be noticed. It doesn't faze me, but it also doesn't make me say, "Wow, I really want to talk to those people!" So naturally, I paid them dust. They were walking around for a while, and every time we crossed paths, I remained tightly focused.

This must have been an issue for the boyfriend of the pair, because he conveniently found some dumb question to ask me. Keep in mind, this dude is tall, built, and striking. I have to make those details known, because I need you to understand that this man is easily assumed to be the most valuable player of his pack; And one thing to know about valuable players is that the members of their tribe tend to be territorial. (Conversely, they sometimes can just be leeches.)

So what was his question, you ask? Well it doesn't really matter, because his girl wasn't gonna' let me answer. As soon as I even faced this dude to say a single thing, she asked me twenty questions on top of his. It felt more like an obnoxious distraction than a serious inquiry. I often compare women to the police for their natural habit of patrolling any place where men are socializing; Monitoring eyes and words and every last gesture when males are in the mix.

If being barraged by the girlfriend wasn't enough, the 'extra friend' had a similar response. As soon as he saw words were being exchanged, he chose that moment to say "hold this"—"hold that for me"—"I need to blablablah." He physically inserted himself right between me and the 'Valuable Player'.

It was as if both the girlfriend and the best friend were terrified to be left out of a conversation that wasn't even about to take place. I hadn't said hardly a word, yet within seconds, they both were clamoring to intercept. It annoyed the shit out of me. I'll just say it straight up.

Don't get me wrong, I have no reason to trip over the failure/success of trading words with this dude. (If it meant something to me, I would have gone to battle trying to get my point across.) It's not like anything was lost. However, I am always frustrated in any situation where someone is trying to DETER or CONTROL my interactions.

I believe interrupting is a form of disrespect, and I think unjustly blocking connections is a type of evil. Now imagine the audacity in combining the two: Deliberately interrupting with intention of preventing bonds. (Amongst peers and consenting adults, that is.)

I even remember being at the Apple Store some years ago, looking for particular tools. The first employee to help me was a modest character, but very attentive. She was short, a little chubby, and wore glasses. I liked her. I'd hit all my points, I'd seen all my options, and soon enough it was time to make the payment.

Before I could even pull out my wallet, another lady came strutting over with precise timing. A brownskin girl. She was shapely and confident, and appealing even in uniform. She just knew she was cute. More importantly, she knew that I was cute.

"You can go on your break now, I got it," the brown girl says, grabbing the iPad from little miss modest without hesitation. Something came over me.

"Let her finish what's she's doing with me," I started. "I can't STAND when people do that."

Brownskin handed back the iPad with frantic quickness then found herself something else to do. She looked a bit taken aback, but I refused to let her think she could displace another person on my watch. Especially when said person got to me first, fair and square. I've always had a strong distaste for selfish interceptions and disruptions.

Which is exactly why I have to finish my parable about The 'Valuable Player' and his minions. Eventually, the 'extra friend' separated from the pack. Something told me this separation was a deliberate choice. Something told me he was looking for me.

I don't know what this guy wants or if it's even something important, but one thing I knew for sure: This man wasn't getting any of my time! After what I'd just witnessed moments ago, I struggled to see him as anything other than obnoxious.

He made a few attempts to request my assistance, and I gave him one or two words at most. Coldly, at that; In such detached form that I wouldn't even let my feet stop moving as he called on me. I sensed his desire to be acknowledged and I refused to comply with it. Maintaining my attitude, I spoke under my breath.

"It amazes me how people think they can ruin things for others and still come get it for themselves," I started. "He shoulda' just waited his turn." As soon as those words left my lips, it was like a light bulb had gone off.

I stopped where I stood to whip out my phone and make a valuable note, for I had just realized in real time the importance of waiting gracefully for your blessings; Waiting without destroying, sabotaging, or discrediting what is meant for others. I felt as if the entire moment was meant to symbolize a reminder.

Had this guy not felt the need to intrude moments before, I wouldn't have had any reason against giving him my undivided attention. The same is safe to say about the brown girl in the Apple Store. Had she caught me on her own time, she could have scored more time altogether. In both cases, the offenders opted to step on the toes of someone else, thus flushing any patience I may have had down the drain.

The obnoxious sidekick wasn't only useful in reminding me patience, but also reassurance that those who take from others don't truly get ahead. I'd like to believe that even in situations of much greater magnitude, such laws still exist; That such consequence still occurs. If your path to fulfillment includes stepping selfishly atop of others, then perhaps the end of the road holds something worthless or nothing at all.

It goes deeper than cock(blocks)

Coming between others is beyond ruining conversations. In more ways than one, someone is being robbed. While babysitting your interactions, people may control how you show up by not letting you be heard; They may control how you feel by not letting you be acknowledged.

They deflect compliments, they cover kind smiles, they scream over "your welcome" when you say "thanks"; All for the sake of trying to DICTATE what you get out of your experience. A cockblock is not just a hater, it's a parasite that may even pose as a "protector."

I'll conclude this writing by emphasizing something that I feel isn't said (loudly) enough: Sabotaging connections is evil and we all should feel strongly about it—Including the encounters that may seem insignificant. Whether someone's intentions are romantic, friendly, or even just business, we should think very poorly of the ones who make it their mission to get in the way without good reason. They don't know what could be waiting on the other side of a simple chat, yet they certainly know they don't want you to have it.

If you're reading this, I encourage you NOT to normalize disruptive behavior. I encourage you to be mindful of those who are very strategic about interrupting or causing distractions just as things get interesting. I encourage you to minimize access for those who constantly want to have some kind of effect on your encounters.

Perhaps I'll do everyone a favor and write a book about this. A book that dives further into dealing with Cockblocks and effectively removing them from your space. I think I'll title it—Shut Yo Ass Up. It would be cold hard evidence that even loud mouths lead to valuable lessons.