The Intruder in the Relationship, How It Can Destroy the Love Between You

When an intruder appears in a relationship, a person who intervenes between partners, removing or even separating them, it is easy to demonize that person who did not follow the principles and tried to seduce someone who was already in a -a relationship that tried to steal someone else's partner.

But is it the fault of the intruder, the woman, or the man who is trying to conquer a person who has a relationship with someone else? It would be simple to be like this: two partners have a loving relationship, but it suddenly seems like a seductive demon, who destroys that relationship…

But the truth is not this: when an intruder appears in the relationship, that intruder was allowed to affect her! Yes, one can blame that person who, ignoring some principles, intervenes in a relationship and tries to conquer someone who is already involved in a relationship. But what about partners?

The second conclusion would be that it is the fault of that partner who is impressed, seduced, who gives interest to another person and thus betrays his partner… But does that betrayed partner not bear a certain responsibility for what is happening?

When an intruder appears in the relationship:

The intruder in the couple's relationship - we must not put all the blame on the person who intervenes in a relationship and who tries to "steal" someone else's partner.

Of course, a person who does such a thing has forgotten the principles, the first and most important principle related to relationships: never intervene in a relationship, never try to steal another's wife or another's the husband! Even if you feel that you are in love, if the subject of your attraction is involved with someone else, it is unethical to try to destroy that relationship.

If the person has fallen in love with her, she will end the relationship - if not, then trying to seduce her is vile. In your role as an intruder, you can't avoid being "the bad guy" - although sometimes you don't have bad intentions. Sometimes you are told that "the relationship is not working anyway", you are told that the end is near, so you justify yourself by telling yourself that you are not responsible for what is happening. But agreeing to see someone who, although he says so, has not yet broken up with his partner and trying to conquer someone who is not yet alone is the last thing you should do.

It is very possible to never get along with the person - but to remain in the role of intruder, lover, the one kept in the shadows. It is very possible that you were responsible for injuring a person, even though it was not your intention. In addition, will you be able to have a relationship with a person who ends relationships so easily because he has met someone else? Will you be able to trust this person?

The partner who lets himself be conquered by someone else - as mentioned, it is easy to blame the intruder, but also the one who betrays (physically or emotionally) his partner, letting himself be conquered by another person, getting involved in another relationship (of any kind). And yes, it is an unforgivable betrayal.

The partner who is in a relationship, but is looking for something outside to commit a betrayal: if he had some unmet needs, he had to discuss them directly with his partner or… to end the relationship. But sometimes he does not want to end the relationship - he wants to "play the double", to take what is offered in the relationship, but to have other sources of satisfaction…

He did not find anything in the couple's partner, so he is looking for fulfilling that need in another person, remaining in the relationship. The classic example is when the intimate life is not satisfying enough in the couple, and one of the partners fulfills certain needs outside of himself, with someone else. But often it is not the satisfaction of physical needs - but emotional ones.

A partner will easily be conquered by another person if he feels that he does not receive enough affection, appreciation, respect from his partner… If you feel that your partner does not love you (or that he forgot to show it to you), he doesn't appreciate you, he is not very interested in you, he doesn't take into account what you want, you let yourself be more easily conquered by someone else who seems to offer you everything. But you should learn to ask what you want from a relationship before looking elsewhere…

The "innocent" partner. Quotes imply that there is no such thing as a truly innocent partner in such a situation - who is not at all responsible for the way the relationship is going. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT ain't for me either.

Perhaps the news that an intruder has appeared in the relationship will shock him. But BOTH partners are responsible (of course, to varying degrees) for a problem of this nature in their relationship. Why? Because the one who is looking for and finding something elsewhere is doing it because he was not offered that something within the couple - whether it is a matter of physical or emotional needs!

Therefore, the victim in this situation contributed, without wanting it, to what is happening. Unfortunately, in long relationships, it is so easy to forget to give your partner what he needs, that you realize too late that you were wrong too, that maybe you neglected the other and you were not interested. of his desires and needs. A person enters into a relationship because he feels the need for affection, appreciation, support, and respect - not to have someone to waste his time with.

And when that need is no longer satisfied, a person outside the couple will inevitably appear, a person who will give him what he lacked. Forgetting to show your affection, letting your intimate life decline, forgetting to tell the other person how much you appreciate him/her, how important he/she is, how much you need him/her, forgetting to be interested in ideas, his desires, his needs - a mistake that many of us make and that will lead to the appearance of an intruder in the relationship; an intruder who will give a partner who has felt neglected everything he wants: affection, admiration, attention, interest, satisfaction…