humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
Day 241
A loud knock at the door woke me from the best dream of my life. Before I even have the chance to wipe the sleep from my eyes my family have let themselves into my apartment with the spare key they had cut for ‘emergencies’. Aunty Shirl, the skinny piece with her long straight sandy blonde hair is first through the door. Uncle Benny is next and boy is he loud, he never turns off, he is just that guy that is always on. Following shortly behind him is uncle Steve, he’s a giant prick but he’s pretty cool to have around. Mama Rose walks in and straight away starts telling me how I should redecorate my apartment and invite Feng Shui into my life.
By Shahnee Hunter5 years ago in Humans
My life behind broken eyes
Finally I've made it, and still it's hard to think, I have made it to half a century, with very little eye sight, despite I don't know how many close calls like crossing the road at the most inappropriate times, like when a car is practically on top of you. Like, going for a dip at the beach, and realizing you can't see the shore (even though you are only a few meters from it) oh and can't feel the bottom "GULP". Or the time as a kid I was with cousins climbing paper bark trees at the trailer park in August Western Australia when I decided to jump down onto what I thought looked like the ground but was in fact a swamp with very deep water and lots of debris under the surface. And that is not even the tip of the iceberg of things that have nearly killed me. I guess now would be a good time to explain why I can't see real good. I have a condition that is call Congenital Optic Atrophy with Myopia, which is just a fancy schmanzy way of say short sighted as well. To keep it simple and not bore you to complete tears, the optic nerve behind both eyes are covered in nerve ending and for some unknown reason a great majority have died. So I can see a little and I mean a very little in my right eye (less than 5 percent vision) and just a little more in my left eye (Just under 10 percent). One of the questions I get asked is how old were you when your eyesight was discovered. I was in first grade at the tender age of 6 when the teacher noticed I wouldn't do any work, in particular when she write things on the chalk board. The school nurse was called to asses my eye sight and arranged an eye test which was closely followed by a meeting with my parents to inform them that I simply couldn't see very much at all. This is when everything changed for a young lad. I was moved from a regular primary school and now sent to another school, Lathlain Primary school funnily enough in Lathlain, a suburb just South of Perth. The reason for the move was that Lathlain has two classes especially set up to cater for children in lower and upper primary with sight loss. So the scene is set, you now know a little about what happened when I started this journey. So join me in the next installment of my story My life behind broken eyes, and hey thanks reading. In the meantime as I say everyday on my radio show, take it easy but do take it ok....
By Phil P K Kennedy5 years ago in Humans
Challenges
"It was a dark and stormy night." Kevin sat up, closed the screen on his laptop, and sighed deeply. Most of the time he enjoyed his job as a high school English teacher. He took pride in having the opportunity to expand their young minds and show them a world beyond video games and TikTok videos. Unfortunately, times like this made him wish that his students could show a little more originality when writing their assignments.
By Albert Melissen5 years ago in Humans
What-if humans were born with tails
Whether we were created by the Almighty, or whether it was evolution, and the process of elimination, that has left us with no more than the stump of a hamster, have you ever wondered how our lives would be affected if we were born with tails? A mere detail you may think, but I can assure you that it would come with some serious consequences.
By Markus Thonett5 years ago in Humans
Baby Andrew
A gust of wind parted Danny’s housecoat when he opened the door. Embarrassed by his exposed boxers, adorned with clipart saxophones blowing the title “Jazz Man,” he securely tied the rope around his waist and, semi-hidden behind his door frame, peered down each side of the street for potential witnesses. To his relief, not so much as a sprinkler stirred. As usual, the neighbourhood was empty in the early afternoon; the breadwinners were busy breadwinning, the children still a tortuous few hours away from spilling out of their school buses into the pop-up games of street hockey and four square that would dominate the street until their parents yelled dinner. It was a family community for sure. But that didn’t explain why there was a baby at the end of Danny’s porch.
By Miguel da Ponte5 years ago in Humans
Let's Step it Up People!
Today, we are going to talk about a topic that will make most men either blush or cringe. If we are being perfectly honest, it makes most women do the same. I'm talking about our yearly visit to the OB/GYN. Let me just stop right here and say: All women should go every year for your check up and exams. It is a great way to head off something or just to ask questions.
By Emma Merritt5 years ago in Humans
The Little Black Books
“It’s for twenty thousand dollars,” the announcer told me, “sponsored by Vivian’s grocery store.” Of course, I already knew that as I signed up to take part in part two of the competition. I had made it past round one, just barely, in my opinion.
By Hope Sears5 years ago in Humans
Something Remembered
She had slept in late again, and it was almost noon by the time she sat with a cup of coffee to sort through the morning’s mail. “More junk,” she said to herself, and put everything in the bin except a handwritten envelope she felt should probably be opened. Inside was a card and a cheque addressed to Mrs Sandy Hall for $20,000. Her eyes widened, but the shock was by now so familiar that it passed almost immediately. Still, this was a big one, and had come all the way from America. “Here’s another one Tiddles,” she said to the cat.
By Nathan Sherwood5 years ago in Humans
