divorce
Divorce isn't an end; it's a different beginning.
Divorce
Divorce- when you hear the word, it does have stigma attached to it- especially for a woman. Whispers of why is she divorced? What did she do? Can she not cook? Why can't she keep a man? and so many more questions! A perfect example of this is the recent chatter in the headlines about Halle Berry and why she can't keep a man- maybe she has a bad 'box' LOL - Halle Berry is a product of an alcoholic home as well and money never fixes those issues- it can mask the issues but never fixes them. Sometimes- people that get married should have NEVER been married to begin with. Everyone has their reasons for getting married and is you ask two different people, you will more than likely get two very different answers- if they answer you honestly. One needs to ask themselves that question however- why did I REALLY get married? No one ever talks about the positive side of divorce. People need to be compatible in all areas for a marriage to work- sex, friendship, life goals, etc. Divorce, can be freeing. Change your thinking and change your life! One cannot work on themselves if they jump from relationship to relationship. People change partners to avoid changing themselves. A reality of life that people hardly talk about. In my life, my marriage provided something I never had- the feeling of belonging and family. Yes- I have a biological family but when you grow up in an alcoholic home, it really is every man for himself. Although our family was a family of 5, I felt utterly alone. And was DESPERATE to find a mate to love me. To this day, my ex-husband's family remains like family to me even though he and I never had or will have the best relationship other than being parents to our son. Life is a very interesting journey. As a woman, you have to put your emotions to the side because the love thing will leave you unfocused and BROKE. And no one likes a declined check card! Some women luck out and get it right- the career, the family, the kids, all of it. But some of us did not. I like to think of it as God blessing us all with different blessings. What fun would life be if ONE person had all the blessings in the same way? Rather boring actually! I think we should celebrate women more for individual accomplishments. You finished grad school, Yay! You purchased a home (on your own)- congrats! We also need to groom men to understand that the amount of respect given to them should not be tied to their earnings or their job title. Some men cannot be in a relationship with a woman who earns more because it threatens their ego. In 2021, they really need to ditch the antiquated thinking and their egos. Life is soooooo expensive! A lot of people are in love with the idea of being in love and the idea of the marriage ceremony- not marriage itself. Marriage is hard work. We all have to choose our hard in this world. Divorce is hard on kids, but they are smarter than we give them credit for and more resilient than we think they are. Learn who YOU are before getting married and divorce is less likely to be a part of the equation. Learn who you are before inviting any one in to your personal space as the work is easier to do that way. Too many people stay unhappy because of what things look like to others. Just know that life- is indeed a one-shot deal.
By Vikki Conley Ikard5 years ago in Humans
The Great Sadness
I started thinking to myself that I should create a name for each year of my life... 2016 would be The Year of Barbed Wire. Because every time I moved or shifted positions I felt the cuts of my pain deep in my skin. The burden of my sorrow was a great weight that encased me. I didn’t think I would come out of that year alive because the enormity of my sadness created physical pain. Enough so that I thought I couldn’t possibly live on. How does someone feel the depth and extent of what I did and not collapse? How was I able to keep breathing?
By M. Winters5 years ago in Humans
Closure
Closure is a fucking myth. You don’t just get to move on from a divorce and the person you gave your heart to. I HATE when people say, “at least you get to have closure now.” No, I don’t. Because every time I look at his face or into his eyes I see the man I married. What little interaction we do now have - I see the soul that connected to mine.
By M. Winters5 years ago in Humans
The Story of Betty: When Your Cake Gets Burned
Betty likes cake. She wants it pretty much all of the time. It would not be making assumptions to say that Betty thinks she needs it. She sees life as having neither form nor function without cake. Cake is as foundational to Betty as the anti-VPL, full-figure body shaper she wore to Mary’s wedding.
By Kennedy Farr5 years ago in Humans
The Not Good, Very Bad, Upside-Down Wedding
I mentioned on my article about my wedding to the love of my life that I had a short marriage with another person where the wedding and the marriage were both terrible. They stood as wonderful examples of everything I didn't want.
By Karalynn Rowley5 years ago in Humans
The Third Party
Its safe to say that in almost every break up or divorce all parties involved share some of the blame. With that concept in mind, please understand that this recanting is from my perspective, as I lack telepathy and cannot account for another's experience. For the sake of anonymity, I will not be using the real names of those involved.
By Fredrik DeVries5 years ago in Humans
A timely tale of love in...love out
Do you wonder if pandemic were around, while you two were dating, would you still be married? Divorced? I’m reading a lot about the new relationships blossoming during global pandemic. (I don’t get it, but hey why not) The dating alone must be absolutely tedious, let alone the lack of sex. The lack of sexy time. The lack of physical anything. At least in the traditional manner we’ve practiced since the beginning of time, so I’m told. What if this is what’s needed to spark up an archaic practice of hits and misses.
By Ronald Todd Woodward5 years ago in Humans
Heart
I hate that you’re occupying my brain. Consuming my thoughts. The good times haunt me as if they were real. My heart is begging me to stop the replay but my mind won’t quit. Your world was illuminated so much that you never noticed the shadows. You never saw me. You never saw the hurt you caused from your form of cruel love. What I wanted was pure. No amount of money could ever buy the things I wanted or needed from you. It seemed so easy to give, yet the struggle to make you understand was unbearable. Your words hurt more than the physical abuse, when I tried to walk away you tried to still take you thought was yours. I just wanted you to love me. I just wanted you to care about me. I didn’t want to just fade away but when it was happening you didn’t even notice. You weren’t there when I needed you, you were only there when it was convenient for you. I always thought that if and when I gave you what you wanted that you would appreciate me, respect me and yes finally, love me. I don’t know how I could be so wrong, I don’t know how I could have mistaken your grooming me for love. I should have saw it coming - I guess it’s true what they say, Love is blind.
By B Marshall5 years ago in Humans
Find Hope
Alone for the night, Elaine pressed her hand to the cold windowpane, ignoring the pain that came with the bite from the chill. Beyond the pane the outside world was covered in a glistening silent winter wonderland. The beauty of it did not escape her, however in her heart she despised the cold. She finally pulled her hand back when the steam outline traced her entire palm. There I have left a mark on something. Elaine thought bitterly. Her entire life had recently imploded. An eighteen-year relationship down the drain. Yet another rejection letter from another job in which she would have excelled. Her daughter struggling in school despite her best efforts to support and motivate her. All in all, she just felt that she had failed. Which she presumed had been his objective. When he had left, he had taken with him two thirds of the household income. Leaving her with the same stack of bills to pay yet only a third the amount to cover the total. The stressed had been weighing on her since he had had left. She knew it showed in the lines on her face.
By Melissa Huntsman5 years ago in Humans
The Hurt that Keeps on Hurting
I thought he was exactly what I needed. Well...Just like the meteorologists on many occasions, I was wrong. I saw what I believed and I believed what I thought I saw. At times this man had a heart of gold. At other times this man was hell on wheels! I thought he was only that way because I made him upset. I mean I am three years younger than he is so maybe it was just my immaturity. Maybe it was because I was so quiet and shy towards him, that he accused me all the time. These are the things I believed. Not once was I able to see the truth about him. I believed he could do no wrong when all he did was wrong.
By Kiara Alexis5 years ago in Humans
What to Expect When You're Divorcing
For the most part, the UK’s family courts function about as well as can reasonably be expected of any court system. Their workings may however still take the average person by surprise. With that in mind, Head of Family Law at K J Smith Solicitors, Kerry Smith shares some advice on what to expect when you’re divorcing.
By Kerry Smith5 years ago in Humans
