breakups
When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.
I Survived a Narcissist Sociopath, Part 2
trying to make sense of what happened to you it’s not an easy thing to achieve. Because the narcissist is functioning on a completely warped level they take no responsibility for anything that they have done. I can’t stress enough that they do not see things the way we do. The only thing the narcissist understands is that they are the victim in every relationship. I found myself questioning my judgment and trying to make sense out of what was wrong with me and how I could’ve been so blind to this person‘s behavior. Because my narcissist was so good at what he did there was no way that I could believe that somebody was that messed up. He was an Academy award winner when it came to lying, Covering his tracks, embellishing and believing that his minimal accomplishments were outstanding. When you try to make sense of your relationship you have to divide into two parts. You have to look at the relationship from how you interpret it and then you have to look at the relationship how the narcissist manipulated the relationship. Trying to make sense of your behavior becomes difficult because of the humiliation factor. Many people that were in narcissistic relationships will have a pattern of breaking up and getting back together and breaking up. The reason why we do this is because we try to justify their agree just behavior because we can’t process a person could be this horrible and that’s why we go back to them. You have to go again remember everything that you are processing everything you were trying to work out everything you were trying to come to grips with never even once enters the narcissist mind. They do not spend one day thinking about us or missing us or regretting all of the horrible things they put us through. They have moved on and found their next victim to do everything to them that they have done to you everyone before you and it’ll always be everyone after you. You cannot think that you will change a narcissistic sociopath. They will never apologize, or tell you that they’ve made terrible mistakes and they are trying to work on being a better person. Once I realized that I could not make sense of his behavior that’s when I focused on understanding the disorder. The Only since you can make out of the situation is all about you and how you were feeling how you were behaving how you were acting and how you were processing the relationship. You must remember you cannot make sense out of insanity. The Narcissistic sociopath will never change. I call it “going on the diet of a lifetime.” You have to remove them from your life completely. When you suffer a Trumatic experience and that truly is what happened to us, it takes time to recover. As I stated in my first posting you must treat the abuser as someone who was tragically killed unexpectedly. Because they never truly existed, they set the stage to act out whatever it is they need to do to get whatever it is they want from you. It is difficult to confide with friends and family if they have not been a victim of narcissistic abuse. It takes time and unfortunately time can’t go by fast enough. We are heartbroken, at a complete loss, and often contemplate suicide because we can’t come to grips with what has happened to us. Please know that these are all emotions that I went through and felt to the deepest part of my soul. You cannot make sense as to why you feel so terribly but you do because you’re an empathetic caring soul. The narcissist feeds on the empathetic caring soul because that is the one that is going to open their heart and their wallet for this predator. I can’t tell you how many evenings and mornings that I woke up and he was the first thing I thought about. I just couldn’t make sense out of what was wrong with me and why I was feeling so horrible and why I couldn’t move on and why he just couldn’t give me closure. The narcissist does not have to give you closure because they did nothing wrong. I chose to share my journey because I realized that there’s not enough resources out there and there are hundreds and thousands of victims of these horrible people.
By From Pieces to Peace6 years ago in Humans
I Survived a Narcissistic Sociopath
Yes, I’m a survivor of a Narcissistic Sociopathic. I decided to share my story because it was unlike anything anyone could ever experience. I thought I would start with the basics; and understanding of how you are feeling if you are in a relationship, trying to get out of a relationship or have traveled the journey of breaking free.
By From Pieces to Peace6 years ago in Humans
Attachment
I stared off into the distance, watching the trees slightly sway back and forth from the gentle breeze that pushed its way passed through the hill side. My eyes seemed to dance back and forth, almost as if they were searching for answers. He watched me, studying my face trying to read the confused, yet heart ache expression that was written all over it. “You’re riddled with attachment, my dear.” He said quietly. I slightly turned to face him, our eyes interlocking. I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes as I said desperately, disappointed in myself “I am… but I don’t want to be.” I let a small sigh escape my lips as it was getting harder to hold back the tears. The concern washed over his face, the slight dismay in his voice while he questioned me “You’re in love, aren’t you?” I couldn’t look at him then, as a tear rolled down my cheek, I glanced toward my feet, gazing longingly at the ruffled surface of the earth. I didn’t even have to answer him, because he already knew. I could hear the sincerity in his voice as he spoke “Why do you continue to fight it?” I kept my gaze locked onto the ground as I said weakly “Because I’ve never felt this way before, but yet I know in my heart and mind that him and I are one in the same.” He never took his eyes off of me and I could hear the seriousness and danger in his voice “If he truly is anything like you… then you are doomed… but you already know that.” I felt my chin begin to tremble, his words cutting through my heart like a knife. The tears began to fall from my eyes, as I silently attempted to wipe them away as I brought myself to look at him once again. I could see he felt my pain, but he remained almost disconnected as I said “I know. But that is the risk that comes with this.” That’s when he looked away, glancing off into the distance as the sun was beginning to set. “It’s like I’ve always told you, this life just isn’t meant for you. But you will do what you feel is right” as he continued knowingly “so let us hope that this time I’m wrong.” I could feel the pain and anguish flood inside my chest, unable to hide it as I frantically wiped away the tears that were now streaming down my face. He looked back at me then, I could see the heart ache in his eyes, but that quickly changed as he calmly spoke “You know what needs to be done. Either you fully embrace it, allowing yourself to become weak in this infatuation, or you dis-concern yourself and walk away. The choice is yours.” He could see the desperation withered in my eyes as I cried out “But this is different, I just know it!” I gasped “I feel it!” Holding my hand up against my chest where my heart laid. He meekly smiled at me then, I could hear the insight and truth in his words “I know it is. Trust me. That is why I’m trying to save you from this chaos that you bring upon yourself. But only you can allow that to happen.” My eyes widened in disbelief, taken aback by the words that he had spoken. And at that very moment, I couldn’t contain the realization and anguish as I clenched my hands into fists I let out a heart felt scream as I fell onto my knees. Wrapping my arms around myself in order to comfort my own well being, I then fell over onto my side. He watched me sob, hearing the depth of my heart ache and suffering in my cries.”Let it consume you, my dear, embrace it, for that is the only way you will be able to move forward in this.” I could feel every single emotion that had been locked away wash over me, almost unbearable, I glanced up towards the now dimly lit sky, entranced, I could feel my body tremble as his words echoed in my ears. It seemed like the torment would never end, but just as it had started, I let every single sensation flood my mind, body and soul. I unclenched my fists, as I gasped for air, attempting to slow my breathing. I could feel my body begin to go weightless as the reality of the agony in my heart began to fade. The single last tear slowly trickled down my right cheek, and a sigh of relief escaped my lips all the while a smile slowly appeared on my face. I knew then what had to be done.
By Reagan Jensen6 years ago in Humans
Betrayal and Heartbreak
I'm not gon' cry by Mary J. Blige from the Movie "Waiting to Exhale" changed my entire outlook on relationships with men. It taught me what to look for in a real man. For you see, I lived this song for Eleven years in a marriage with my son's father. I put everything I had into our relationship only to find out in the end that I was never nothing more than a means to an end for him. I built him up for him to leave me for someone else. The song goes like this: For all the time that I was loving you, you were busy loving yourself. I would stop breathing if you told me to,now you're busy loving someone else. Eleven years out of my life, besides the kids I have nothing to show, wasted the years out of my life, I should have left your ass a long time ago. I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gon' cry, I'm not gonna shed no tears, no i'm not gon' cry, cause your not worth my tears. I was your lover and your secretary, working everyday of the week, was that the job when no one else was there, helping you get on your feet. Eleven years of sacrifice, and you can leave me at the drop of a dime, swallowed my fears, stood by your side, I should have left yo ass a thousand times. No i'm not gon' cry, i'm not gon' cry, i'm not gonna shed no tears, no i'm not gon' cry, cause you're not worth my tears. I know there are no guarantees, in love you take your chances, but some how it seems unfair to me, look at the circumstances, in sickness and health, till death do us part, those were the words that we spoke from our hearts, and now when you say that you're leaving me, I don't get that part. Every time I heard this song it was a reminder of the sacrifice I had made in the name of love for a man who did not even value it. It became a cautionary tale in my life about men for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I never gave up on love or men, I just took more care in who I gave my heart to and what signs to look for in a man. Life can be very cruel to us all sometimes, but by never giving up, you will one day rise above all the betrayals and heartbreaks and find your true love. I know because I am presently married to a man who loves me genuinely and is striving for the betterment of us both. Now, when I hear that song I smile because even though I went through heartbreak and betrayal in the beginning, I never gave up and my ending is truly a happy ever after.
By Tony Marie Dorsey6 years ago in Humans
A letter to the girl who loved a monster
It may be years since you two last spoke, yet your hands drift over the keyboard and write his name into the search bar on social media. You notice he changed his profile picture from the last time you looked at it. New shirts that he didn’t own when you two were together pop up in his pictures now. He still wears the one band t-shirt you bought him. You tell yourself you don’t care but still wish you could rip it up with your bare hands.
By Savannah Deianira Lewis6 years ago in Humans
Falling in Love at Fifteen
The most influential thing that has happened to me was falling in love. I was fifteen and naive and thought I could take on a long distance relationship spanning 741 miles and four states. We were both young and we thought, we knew, that we were in love, and that was all that mattered. We loved each other, and we thought we could take on the world together, while not actually physically being together. We wanted a future together, and we were destined to reach it, no matter the distance between us and the struggles we knew we would face.
By Victoria Brown6 years ago in Humans
Goodbye. Yours, Eve.. Top Story - February 2020.
Goodbye. Yours, Eve. Dear Noah, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just need to tell you that I’m not okay in the slightest. I’m going to try so hard to carry on as if nothing has happened, but it’s hard. So very hard.
By Milada Kubb6 years ago in Humans
Ending up alone
If I end up alone, I won't be surprised. I used to hope for things. Of course, then I was a child. I got old enough to like boys. My first ex was a disappointment. He once told me if my boobs were bigger we could do more with them sexually. I was already an insecure B-cup. I eventually left him when he pretended to be interested in someone else who turned out to be his sister playing her, then acted like he was going to kill himself if I didn't stay with him. This was the same ex who manipulated me while I was on vacation into staying in from going to the beach with a friend. This was why it only lasted four months.
By Alexandra F6 years ago in Humans
The Ex
Hi, this story takes place in mid July, I’d say July seventh 2019, I was home in peace I was feeling good, life was good, had a few things that were not so good going on but things were getting worked out so no problem. So I rented a room out to a guy I new for years he was like family. I kind of new him from seeing him around but not personally I never really wanted to know some people I just feel things so I know why now. So this man was asking the guy to hook me up with him I’m not knowing this. he Told me he said to him no she’s been through a lot she is not the type to play games with men. So he wiggles his way in my life anyway and I fell for it. I kept reassuring him I wanted a friend i want to move slow and grow. Before I knew it he was here every day staying a nite he never was intimate with me, he would touch me and kiss, caress me, and I told him after that I really did not want that. But I thought he was different, He seemed nice he was telling my family and friends that he loved me in only 2 weeks. I was concerned at first then I said maybe he does it can happen foolishly. I went against all my rules and fell for him. Then one day he started arguing with me because I started asking him why hasn’t he took me out yet he went crazy totally changed to another person. Then he told me several times we would go out and we never did. We started arguing, He was aggressive angry and just scary so I said ok I’m done but he begged me back saying I’m sorry, I was wrong, I should of left. So I kept asking him why don’t I ever get to go to your house he got upset started yelling at me again. Then said he can’t be with me cause I drink soda and I’m not vegan. I said Your crazy, Come to find out his sister said he is sick, and he was a narcissist. Everything I thought about him wax true. And he admitted he did drugs but stopped, I heard he still is on the multiple drugs. Dust, cocaine, mushrooms, and weed which isn’t bad he also does pills, so now I see what the problem was. It was never me , I mean I went through hell with this guy he was a control freak on top of everything else wanted to control what I eat and drink, he told me if I don’t eat alkaline foods he can’t be with me but he was with me for months knowing I ate differently. And funny thing is he started acting that way once he got a job, remember I said he was at my house every day like clock work. He took me on a real roller coaster ride that I never wanna experience in my life ever again. I mean he argued with me about the pitiest things It could be a tv show anything. so I figured just make him think he Is right so you don’t waste energy with this guy. So I started ignoring his crazy arguments . But he still, he always found a way to argue with me. Then I figured it out he is bipolar I thought. No it was drugs he still did drugs and that’s why he was flip flopping and acting all crazy and trying to put everything on me I had enough of it. So I’m at peace now I got closure it was never me . He was crazy the whole time and his family said they try to get him help and he is reading self help books and they hope he gets help I’m like what the heck wow. I never would of thought that at first by looking at him and talking he seemed so smart but he reads google and learns things to make it seem like he already knew it all along. He did so much, I can write a book about it never mind a story. He was the worse person I ever encountered in my life, a master manipulator. And his sister also told me he was known for getting physical abusing women. She said that he likes toxic relationships and that he will wheel you back in if he can to keep the excitement going, like I thought she said he feeds on it. I had said that to someone about him I was right. I felt like he got a kick out of arguing with me like he enjoyed it. I would beg him to stop, I would tell him look I don’t care I don’t want to argue, he still was at it. To the point where it started taking a toll out on me and I started hating him. I felt like he was purposely driving me crazy. My brother was killed on his birthday years ago Sept 2013 I was so paranoid I thought he had something against my brother and wanted to hurt me I didn’t know what to think. I just knew I did not deserve this I had told him what I went through, how I was mourning. He didn’t care obviously all he cared for was himself and I prayed he will get his karma. He left me for dead in the hospital having surgery he got me pregnant and I had to have surgery, He never ever even came to see me. I learned a lesson to never trust a Man in my life he ruined my heart I had already been hurt I was just getting over a guy and before that I was divorcing my husband who got a little girl pregnant after I buried my brother. It’s like nobody cared for me, just kept hurting me, and hurting me. I wonder if it’s ever going to end or what. Sometimes I feel like bad people never feel pain only good people feel pain.When will I be happy, when will the pain stop I just want love and peace.
By Lanisha Renee Daniels6 years ago in Humans
Careless in Love - TSR #1
Disclaimer: This is a true story. For more True Stories Recounted (TSR), click here. Diamond was always a careless girl, but things seemed to get worse when she met Elisha. The first time they met, she didn’t really know how to behave. She didn’t mind his brute nature and the way he didn’t accept things unless they were exactly as he wanted. Even when he caused a scene by yelling too loudly and aggressively at the waitress for putting ketchup on his hotdog despite asking her not to, Diamond didn’t mind it. He was sweet to her, always made her feel special. The third time they met, he brought her flowers. Cheesy but very effective, especially in these times when chivalry’s corpse is nothing but bones, at this point. She thought he was perfect, and although she’d known him for only five and a half weeks, she felt like he was her soul mate.
By Jide Okonjo6 years ago in Humans
Finding Happiness in Myself
This photo was taken on a vacation to Oahu, Hawaii in January of this year. I had booked it with my girlfriend at the time; we had planned on going hiking, snorkeling with sharks, and meeting new people. She cheated on me a month before we went, so I booked rooms all over the island because I made a new plan to walk around the perimeter of Oahu to keep my distance from her. The first night there, right after landing and getting out of the Uber, her and I rekindled our old flame. I had fallen in love all over again with her and forgotten everything that happened. The morning was the same feeling, but it was different than our relationship everything was calmer and we wouldn’t argue about things that would normally be fights. Something was there, but that night she called the guy she cheated on me with while I was in the shower. I felt every emotion over again, and disappointed in myself for cancelling my hike around the island for it to happen again. I set up my hammock outside of the apartment and camped outside so she could have the bed. I got eaten by mosquitoes the first night so I laid a blanket under me the following night, but I then got rained on. The following night I set up a tarp over me and listened to the palm trees overhead; dreaming of living on the island and letting go of everything else. Throughout the days my ex and I would walk everywhere together and would talk about everything; we became fantastic friends and would look at each other knowing the feelings were still there, but she knew as soon as we got back home it would go away. I was still star struck by her until day 5. She had called him again and I decided I was going to go to the west side of the island on my own and hike 30 miles the next day to try to get over her. The Uber ride to the condo was amazing; I met one of the most genuine guys I’ve met in awhile and we talked about life and random things including how lefties have been treated in history. He made my night and I told my ex I made it to the place safely and goodnight. The next day I woke up and found a family of wild dogs within the first mile of my walk and gave them food and water. Along with the dogs I also saw a cat and a few chickens along my next few miles. I had my backpack, water, and music and I was determined to overcome everything. In the moment I got distracted by the beauty of everything around me, and I had finally found myself and the happiness in myself. This photo is of a moment I realized how beautiful this world is no matter how other people may treat me. I found myself on that walk and met some great people along the way, and once I got back to Alaska I fixed my sleep schedule to start waking up early to hike to see the sunrise. I eventually got over my ex and now I’m just working on getting over the relationship and our memories. Ever since this photo I’ve connected with four new genuine people, I work ahead in school work, and I got a new job that makes me happy. Thank you for this opportunity and just listening.
By Tyler Shotenski6 years ago in Humans
