People-Pleasing

It’s not easy being a people pleaser. I would know since I used to be one. You have this need deep down inside of you to do what makes other people happy and you never even consider what you want. It’s exhausting. Saying yes when in reality, you want to tell them no and saying no when you actually want to say yes. You just want validation to be and feel accepted and wanted, because maybe in the past you were bullied so you decided to act like someone else so others would like “you” or maybe a family member tried so hard to make you into someone else so you listened and decided to go their way, because you thought that they were right. It’s not always a family member or a bully that causes you to make decisions revolving around other people not thinking once of yourself. It could very well be a friend, too. A friend that probably wants you to date a friend or sibling of theirs, because they just want the best for you or maybe your friend thinks that you’re making a bad choice even though you may feel differently. If you’re a people-pleaser or are a recovering people-pleaser you would know how hard it is, no, close to impossible it is to just say NO and of course if you were to say no or I don’t want to it could risk disappointing those closest to you which will then cause a pain in your heart. People sometimes lose friendships or risk distancing from a family member due to doing what makes them happy and whoever you disappoint may see you as a villain for not doing what they want you to do, but you know what?

That’s okay. That’s NOT your problem.

You don’t have to feel like you NEED to do what others want you to do and it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to say no when you want to say no and say yes when you want to say yes. It doesn’t make you a villain, even though you may feel like one at first for letting so-and-so down. Truth is, they expected highly of you. They saw you as really nice, reliable, and genuine person who would never let them down. In all honesty, their expectations of you were too high. That’s why they got disappointed. They take your no too personally and may feel like you’re rejecting them when in reality you’re just rejecting the request or the want, but how they react and feel has nothing to do with you. You don’t have to date that guy your friends may be pressuring you to date. You don’t have to pursue that career you hate just because your parents want you to since they never went after it or thought your choices sucked. Now, I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t listen to your parents or your friends, because they do have your best interest at heart. What I am trying to say is this; if you don’t believe that something in particular is for you, then don’t go that way. Listen to your intuition.

Remember, anyone or anything you lose along the way, because you decided to do what makes YOU happy and may not be what they want doesn’t belong in your life to begin with. Yeah, maybe some will get disappointed by your choices, but the ones who belong in your life won’t leave you for doing what makes you happy. Life is too short to live a life that someone else wanted to live, but never got the chance to. Live the way that is best for YOU. After all, it is your life.