Bless me Father

"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been four weeks since my last confession."

"Name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

”Thank you for seeing me Father I…”

”Amen.”

"Oh right …Amen. Sorry I’m just learning Catholic."

”Learning?”

”Yeah, kinda like learning to eat broccoli. You tolerate it because It‘s high in vitamin B. Therefore, it’s good for you.”

”Hmmm. Catholicism is good because it has vitamin G.”

”Nice one Father.”

“What are your confessions my son?"

"I am an orphan."

"To be an Orphan is not a sin."

"No. However, my birth plays a part in my confession."

"How so my son?"

"I should be clear, not my birth, perhaps my conception."

"Oh. Was there foul play during..."

"Oh no Father. To my knowledge it was a consensual act by both parties."

"Continue."

"Well, it all started when I turned fifteen and joined the military Cadets."

"And you feel guilty you chose the path of violence rather than peace?"

"Naw, I'm cool with being in the military. They pay for your education once you are out of High school, and you get to blow up sh….things.”

"Continue."

"Well, It requires a physical and that is when I was informed I failed the tests."

"You failed? That is too bad."

"Oh no it's a good thing. Because the test discovered I have early stages of renal failure."

"Oh, and how is that good?”

"Because they caught it, I was able to start treatment and put on Dialysis."

"Praise the lord."

"Unfortunately, the treatment can only do so much. I'll need a transplant soon."

"I shall pray for you."

"Thanks, but I would prefer a kidney. Anyway, it turned out to be a good thing."

"How so?"

"It was then I found out I was adopted."

“So, you were unaware up until this time?”

”Yes. My adopted parents said they got me on condition it was never to be mentioned, but they revealed what they knew. Sad story, really.”

"Although I feel they should have told you sooner, it's good news you finally know the truth."

"Not really. You see being adopted meant no one in my family is a match for a kidney."

"That is too bad."

"No, it ended up being good news because it meant I received access to my biological parents information."

"God is good."

"God may be good but the news wasn't."

"News?"

"Yes. My birth mother passed away six weeks earlier and there was no record of who my father is."

"Such is the cruel hand of fate to deliver sad news."

"Sad yes, I was so close to meeting her."

“Lord giveth and Lord taketh away.”

”Seems kinda narcissist.”

“Pardon?”

“I said seems nice.”

“Ah. You must be disappointed.”

"You would think that, right? However, as her only living heir all her possessions were given to me."

"A true blessing."

"As it turned out a very small blessing. She wasn't rich buy any means. All it did was make me responsible for cleaning out her tiny apartment and belongings. The landlord was happy he didn't have to do it."

"Such is the burden God places upon us, especially on one so young. Yet it is in this we find our strength."

"I don't know about strength, but I did find my moms diary and love letters from my biological father."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways."

"You have no idea Father."

"So, you were able to meet your father. Joyous news indeed."

"The news isn't so joyous."

"No?"

"No. Because my mother never named the man in her diary and he never signed the letters, I still didn't know who my father was."

"Tragic news once again my son. However, I am unsure as to why you have come to confession, surely I see no sin on your part."

"Which brings me to why I am here. The sin."

"Proceed."

"I pieced information from the diary and letters and came to a reasonable deduction regarding 'said' individual."

"So, you approached this person."

"No. Because he is not listed on file as my father, legally I have no rights to contact him, or so I was told."

"I sense a ‘but'."

"But I went to his place of residence, with the intent of confronting him."

"And did you?"

"I did not."

"I am failing to see the need of your confession."

"I'm getting to that Father."

"Proceed."

"Okay. As I mentioned I believe I knew who the man was, however, I was not allowed to confront him, even though I wanted too. To be honest I wasn't a hundred percent sure if he really was the man."

"I feel there is something you are not telling me."

"You are correct. I am not sure if I should say more without possibly incriminating myself. Legally that is."

"Did you harm the man?"

"Of course not."

"Your are safe here, your words are between you, I, and God."

"I have no worries about God telling anyone, but..."

"You may trust that our conversation shall go no further than this booth. A sacred sacramental seal protects a formal confession, such as this. I cannot, under strict cannon of law, break this vow."

"Very well. I decided that if the law refuses to help me, I had no choice but to take the next step."

"And those steps were?"

"I knew where he worked and made a plan to infiltrate his organization."

"Dare I ask how?"

"I got a position that brought me in close proximity to him."

"For what purpose?"

"So that I could work beside him and get to know him."

"Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to say you kidnapped him."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. It's your story."

"Do I give off kidnapping vibes?"

"You mentioned a sin."

"A sin yes, but not a felony. Jeez Father you have a vivid imagination."

"Fine, what is it that you did that is so horrendous."

"I never used that word."

"No, but you said you must confess."

"That's because the church says that in order to receive a blessing of forgiveness, I must confess my sins."

"So far I haven’t heard anything that requires the blessing of Christ. Just a very long story."

"I am trying, but you keep interrupting."

"Only so I may understand what it is you are trying to confess."

"I am trying but you need to know the whole story first. Honestly I thought a priest was supposed to have patience."

"I have been patient, NOW GET ON WITH YOUR STORY."

"Father, you are aware these booths are not soundproof?"

"OF COURSE."

"Then why are you yelling, I'm right here."

"My apologies... for the love of Mary please continue."

"Thank you. So, we worked side by side on weekends and the odd night and as we got closer the trust began to grow, and that is when I committed the sin."

"Which is?"

"I stole something."

"Stole?"

"Yes, something very personal."

"You are not the first to succumb to desiring material possessions of others."

"It wasn't a material possession that I stole Father, it was worse."

"How so?"

"I stole his spit."

"His spirit?"

"No, his spit…his saliva."

"Excuse me?"

"After he drank, I swabbed the lip of the cup."

"You have my attention. For what purpose?"

"For his DNA. I sent it without his knowledge to an internet site that does this. I falsified the information and lied on the form. I needed to know."

"And?"

"The results came back positive."

"And?"

“Then I really became confused.”

“Why?”

“Honestly, I was unsure how to proceed.”

”Sometimes the simple solution appears to be the hardest, yet one must take it.”

”And that solution is?”

”A conversation.”

“Not so simple Father. According to my mothers diary, she wished to serve the lord in the capacity of a Nun. While she was still a Novitiate taking her Undergraduate Studies in Pre-Theology, she met a young man who was preparing for priesthood. According to her diary they fell in love. Yet, they loved God first and foremost."

"Yes, the Love of God is strong."

"Not as strong as his boys, apparently they could swim. Because she became pregnant."

"That’s a colourful image. What became of the two?"

"She left the convent to have the child."

"And the young seminarian?"

"She never told him.”

”She left… without saying a word...”

”Are you asking or telling me?”

”Oh…I…”

“....Father, you still there?"

"Oliver?"

"Yes Father, it's me."

"I thought I recognized your voice. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, I'm not angry. You were unaware of being my dad, but you turned out to be a good Father."

"If I would have known...I did love your mother."

"The letters said as much."

"Where do we go from here? I have a feeling that three hail Mary's and four our Fathers as an act of contrition aren't going to cut it."

"Probably not. Perhaps the gift of a kidney may suffice...father."

"As I said, the lord works in mysterious ways...my son."