I Made Myself into a Role Model by Being Proactive

Why do people like to think of someone else as a role model? Growing up I was obsessed with picking someone to idolize, to find attractive qualities in a person, and to allow myself to envision life emulating their characteristics. But, I didn’t get it.

While plenty of people around me had their idols, I was stuck feeling like an outcast, finding it hard to look for someone just to name them when a situation calls for it. For instance, to use it up as a conversation starter, or a way to engage with someone. It feels kind of shallow, yes — but maybe I just wasn’t thinking ahead of the future at the time. Then, it would make sense why I had the limited capacity for modeling someone else — because I had no idea who I wanted to become. Based on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, to unlock this, one must have creative power. They must use the right side of their brain to imagine detailed scenarios where certain qualities are better to have when you are gearing for a particular goal.

Several years later I formed several role models; two British men, one Filipino male vlogger, and a five-member K-pop girl group. I know, it’s a glow-up. I would like to say that they found me, instead of the other way around. There are even times in mind when the number of idols increases exponentially and that’s okay. I know from recent events and further contemplation down the line that my biggest role model as it turns out was my Mom and I only realized that after she passed away. In this certain situation, I found the answer within, instead of the usual searching around.

While thinking about how to align myself with the goals or vision I have in life, I saw this helpful life advice. They said to imagine someone that you admire, like a role model. If you could think about the qualities you prefer to have, then getting to the alignment part would become easier.

I found that after listing down the qualities or traits of the person I wanted to emulate, I realized that I already have this person inside of me.

I believe we all must get to a point in alignment where we don’t just hope to be someone else’s traits or good qualities. Even people that we consider as our role models don’t own the qualities we assign them to. Those are characteristics that are possible for anyone in the world to internalize if they are willing to sacrifice getting there.

The process of deeming yourself as your role model isn’t a magic pill you could take to emulate overnight. I believe a big part of this comes with discipline — more specifically consistency. In the same way that we think about someone as a role model and identify why they hold a certain label to be recognized as an influencer or idol, there are many factors to consider.

They were probably consistent with their ideals hence, the potential they have reached which made them recognizable for their features and traits. With consistency comes discipline. It’s better to think that nothing worth it comes easy. Another is power which comes from influence, not just to others but power within. Let’s also add luck to the mix. However, bearing in mind what we can control out of the variables is the biggest indicator of proactivity. That will be the key to consistency. It’s also safe to think that most of the people we idolize have earned the traits we like to see through their efforts and consistency in presenting themselves in the way they are now known. Now, that you’re used to the game, and the self-discipline you have is enough. You have harnessed power within and it’s another important factor to use when implementing intentional acts; To further source the traits or characteristics to add to the emulation.

Again, the process isn’t overnight but when you arrive there, sometimes you don’t even become aware of it. Yet, you’ll notice other people respecting and admiring you. There is now influence beyond yourself and what remains is responsibility — to make things better and to live consistently with your ideals.

Personally, before becoming proactive, I learned how to be reactive — it’s a very primitive response. Babies and kids like to do this because it’s easier to express that way. When you know of a person who tends to complain frequently, even the people around you could pass on the negativity. I haven’t known a person yet who was proactive first and was never reactive, ever. So, the good news here is that being proactive is trainable. When you find that the circumstances surrounding you are things absolutely out of your control but are things that your reaction towards are manageable, it becomes easier for you to grapple with the given problems. It’s like you’re already solving 50% of the issue by being focused on what you can control — in this instance, your emotions and thoughts.

As someone who is dealing with Bipolar Disorder where any sort of change or occurrence of stress, disrupts the balance in my mood, it’s reassuring that the best and most effective strategy I could use is to control or manage my emotions and thoughts well. There will be countless situations that might throw me off the equilibrium but what matters most will be my proactivity and social support.

Try it for yourself, locate a situation that often makes you worry or angered. Maybe, you don’t even notice going in that direction most of the time. Tell yourself that it’s okay to be mad, catch yourself, identify what you’re feeling, and let it go. Then, ask yourself what you can do to make the situation better. Modeling yourself gives you the strength to keep continuing. When you get used to thinking and acting this way, you’ll form a consistent record of being proactive. You’re owning the situation instead of losing to your emotions. Alas! People will definitely show you respect and admiration because it’s clear you have created power within and power of influence.